How do I deal with a loved ones PMS?

For me, I know I am a b$&@h when I’m going through PMS so I prefer to be left alone.
To be honest, coming from a woman, it’s a no win situation- you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It is an emotional roller coaster. It’s best just to ignore our mood swings and not point out that we are being moody. I don’t justify our actions, but then again this is why I like to be left alone so I don’t have to deal with my boyfriends comments or continue to bite my tongue. The more that is said and done or vice versa not said and not done I just want to curl up on a ball then wait for my period to pass. I feel horrible and in pain so I always want to be left alone. My boyfriend knows to avoid me for his own safety because my words come out like spit venom.
My advice is to ignore and let it pass

You will probably lose either way… I don’t give girls the right to be total bitches just because of PMS, but I know I get kind of depressed, pessimistic, and all around don’t feel good. It’s kind of like if you had a flu, and were generally incapacitated, and couldn’t get any of your work done, and it happened all the time. It’s frustrating, and the fact that you guys DON’T have to experience it makes us (or me at least) a bit more aggressive towards you. It’s kind of twisted, but misery loves company.
As for making it better, you really can’t help… Guess you just have to wait it out and be thankful that you have a penis.

tell them PMS doesn’t exist and it’s just an excuse to treat you poorly.
then report back and let us know how it goes.
*nc runs to get popcorn

Aunt Flo can be a real she-bitch but you should already know this as I will assume you are a guy and not your first go around here. You signed up for this so man up and deal with it…show her you have a pair and can take anything she can throw at you and still smile about it and love her.

Treat him just as you do any other time he gets all short tempered and unreasonable. You know how he gets-all distant and unreachable. Whatever you do don’t try to make a human connection because to avoid that he will go storming out of the room and blame you for his hormonal weirdness.

If your lady friend is having serious problems with PMS, she should see her doctor. That degree of interference with her life (damaging a relationship with a significant other) warrants medical intervention, I think.

This is your loved one, right? By now they’ve told you all kinds of ways they had hoped you’d act or stuff you’d do which means they still want those things. Don’t give up, if it’s not a big deal then do some of things you don’t feel are excessive. PMS isn’t going away for most women under 60yrs old.

If this person has a regular cycle of every 28 days make some plans to be busiest during these few days. Talk to her and tell her you don’t feel you can win and that although you want to be understanding and there for her that you feel very much on edge and you don’t wish to get into an arguement with her when she is not herself. You can go out to movies, hang out with the guys, Or you can also ask her to do her best to see how her behavior affects you as well and that she try to control it a little. I’m a woman and I’ve seen some women use it as a reason to vent. I say this because I’ve even done it. I just let my feelings rage, but I can control it when it is necessary to do so. Watch how pleasant she can be when she is meeting someone new for the first time. Or someone who she greatly admires. She will be sweet as candy. I’ve seen several woman do this. Especially at the office. Even if she thinks her boss is a creep, she will control her temper around him. Its too easy to let loose around someone you feel secure with.
BTW I don’t do it with my husband. When I am feeling a bit emotional, I warn him to stay clear till I’m in better control of myself. At the same time I tell him not to use it as an excuse either. I would get upset when he would accuse me of suffering from PMS and I was no where near my cycle. Then it was just regular anger.
So careful when you call her on it.

honestly, @___ they sound very ignorant. and i don’t mean that they are “ignorant about how to deal with their emotions.” i mean this person sounds like they have unrealistic expectations about what you (and likely other humans) are capable of enduring, appreciating, and generally how to deal with other human beings.

As an outrageous example, imagine a big dumb giant cyclops that walks into the village. He doesn’t mean any harm but he’s totally impressed to see mini humanoids. So, he starts picking them up and smushing them on the ground, lauging and giggling all the way. Then of course, the humans get angry and the troops come out and they start burning his shoes and throwing spears at his eye. Next thing you know, the big dumb cyclops is captured and being served for a feast. 3000 widows are weeping and half the village is destroyed. Ignorance is a big problem. Especially for people who have a lot of power.

Imagine if you could, if that cyclops were actually time traveling back into the past. Was educated in the language and ways of the people he was visiting. Had medical supplies and technology to share.. as well, imagine if he had an introductory speech prepared to deliver to the king and all the people. Things would go very differently for the cyclops in this case.

Okay, I’ll get to the point, what I’m actually saying is: Your loved one is a big dumb cyclops who needs to be cannibalized! No, wait.. that’s not it.. okay.. your loved one is a big dumb cyclops who needs to be educated in the ways and reasons of civilized humanity before s/he can be introduced to the vulnerable public masses.

Cyclops? Aren’t we are talking about Pococurante Male Syndrome?

oh right.. like it’s ever the man’s fault!

First of all, it may benefit you to have your facts straight.
The emotional symptoms of PMS are pretty rare. More people claim to have the symptoms than actually do. In reality, fewer than 5 percent of all women have such symptoms predictably over their cycles.

The reason why so many women think they suffer from PMS may be because they notice feelings of depression or irritability when these moods happen to occur premenstrually but overlook times when such moods are absent premenstrually. They may be more likely to label symptoms that occur before their period as PMS (I’m irritable and cranky, I must be getting my period), while they may use a different explanation for the same feelings in a different context (No wonder I’m irritable and cranky; I worked really hard on that paper and only got a C).

Show your loved one this, and maybe she’ll stop using her period as an excuse for being a bitch :)

@le_inferno I don’t condone using it as an excuse either, but it’s definitely more than 5%. From 3–7% of women get PMDD, which requires medical treatment, but about 85% of women experience some kind of PMS symptoms. I check it on womenshealth.gov.

I’m just saying that there are emotional fluxes due to changing hormone levels. The condition is real, while degree of bitchiness is a different matter.

My boss brings me chocolate. He shall live.

@Trillian You are my favourite person for the day.

In other news, I’m not female, so it’s rather difficult for me to relate to. However, seeing the results of my mother/sister/girlfriends/knife-wielding maniacs, I try to be as meek and food-supplying as possible.

You too shall live. ting (That was my magic wand, great sound effects huh?)

@dazedandconfused Right, but I specified emotional symptoms. A majority of women do experience cramping, bloating, and other physical symptoms. Those, too, are considered PMS. A very small number actually suffer from emotional symptoms.

The best time to talk about this with your loved one is not when she’s in the throes of it, but off-cycle. Does she use PMS as an excuse, or is she distressed about her behavior towards you?

Do what many of us have done with PMS sufferers: mark it on your calendar and be conveniently absent through most of it (take long walks in the park, plan a get-together with an old friend, go to the movies, read a book, hide in a library). If you can’t help her any other way and she doesn’t appreciate the help but wants to use you as a punching bag, that’s not very healthy for either of you in the long-haul.

i can make it better by rubbing my girlfriends tummy…..until she punches me in the face.

Wow, I’m just pleased I don’t get it, or maybe use it.