Have you ever thought about someone while you were having sex with someone different?

No, I have not. I know that sounds strange, but when having sex only that person is the one I am in to at that time.

No. My attention was 100% on my lady and her pleasure. The subtle nuances that would tell me what she was ready for next, The wonderful textures, tastes and aroma. Her loving sounds and reactions. How could I possibly be thinking of anything else? At those times, she was my universe, my goal in life was her satisfaction. Her orgasms were my ultimate reward.

@pearls It doesn’t sound strange!

My answer: No.

Gee, I was going to answer with the question, “Have you ever NOT thought about someone while you were having sex with someone different?” Based on the three answers before me, I guess I’m in the minority…

Not that I was thinking I’d rather be with someone else, but my mind wanders a lot. Maybe it’s just my ADD brain. The occasional thought of someone else might pass through my mind, but it has nothing at all to do with feeling unsatisfied with my current partner.

Yes I have. I’m just going to assume that the people in the first 3 answers were lying as well lol.

Yes of course, tons of people – sometimes giant orgies of all my co-workers flash across my mind…sometimes I’m picturing my husband and myself with a bunch of people…sometimes I am picturing a very interesting grouping…and as I do, I tell him about it…turns us both on

@ru2bz46 and @Blackberry but if my partner satisfies me, why would I need to think about someone else? :)

@Blackberry at least one of the first three was deeply in love with his lady

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I think people are different…I am deeply in love and can think of others during sex…not because I’m not being satisfied but because I have a giant brain that never rests…

I’m messin’ with ya :) I agree with Simone as well. It’s simply because my brain seems to not stop.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir In a way, I envy you. The “love” part of my brain way only large enough for one marvelous lady. Now it’s closed and welded shut.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir People are different. So true! I also have a giant brain that never rests, but if I feel the need to fantasize while in the moment I think of the times my husband and I did it next to a tree while hiking, or that time at the park, or that time when we stopped the 4 wheeler to do it in the field…. you get the picture. ;)

@jonsblond generally, yes, my fantasies if necessary during sex include the two of us

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I don’t think we’re talking about love when we’re discussing random sexual images during sex.

Nope, can’t say that I have.

@pearls Completely agree, that’s the way it works with me too.

Once a friend told me he did it and suggested I try it. Couldn’t do it. It was very distracting and fake.

@jonsblond Like I said, it has nothing to do with being satisfied or not, and there is no “need” to think of someone else; it is simply the brain doing what the brain does: thinking. It is impossible to stop the flow of thoughts, but you don’t have to follow them along their path. :-)

@jonsblond and @HankMoody Thanks to both of you.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir My range of experience was just too narrow, or maybe I considered myself so unworthy of my wonderful partner (she was a superior person to me in almost every way) that physically pleasing her took all of my attention. This wasn’t some “power exchange”; I freely and joyfully gave 100%. She actually had to insist that I have “my turn”. It’s hard to explain, but to me, her pleasure was more important to me than my own.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I understand what you’re saying. And I am glad she didn’t accept always being pleasured without you getting pleasure as well.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It was like we were one person that happened to occupy two bodies, I was the provider but she was the one who had a real life. Maybe that’s why I’m so empty now.

Yes, I have. The girlfriend whom I was with at the time, we were having problems in our relationship. We had been together for 10 years and the last year that we were together, we were drifting apart. We really should have broke it off a long time ago, but, we didn’t. Anyway, during that last year, I met someone and we became friends—good friends. The more time that we spent together, the closer that I felt to her (emotionally). She felt the same way. We never did anything about it, though.

But, when sleeping with my girlfriend, a few times I did think of my friend.

I’m not proud it.

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I get it and can’t help feeling that that was quite unequal.

I am guilty of thinking of someone else while having sex with my girlfriend. eventually i ended up hooking up with the girl i was crushing over, after my relationship ended with my previous girlfriend. im not proud of either.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I knew it was, but gladly allowed it to be. I was living my life through her, my own life is just going through the motions of what is expected of me, about all that I’m capable of.

A friend of mine told me she went through the grocery list in the middle of some mad-passionate….OUT LOUD!That got her fired!lol!

Yes. It is a very confusing feeling. I guess it has to do with the other person appearing to be more involving than who I am with. It has been a sign that my current relationship is about to end. However, it’s not always that sign.

Since it goes on inside my head, no one has to know unless I choose to tell them. No one has ever complained about a lack of attention when I’ve done it. I think that I’m the only one it hurts if even that is the case. I wish it didn’t happen. It makes me feel like there’s a choice I have to make. The fact that another woman appears in my thoughts at a time like that means things must be changing —a worrisome thought.

I generally don’t picture anyone when I have sex. I’m just focused on the moment and the things that are happening. I see their hands/lips touching me, etc. I find it difficult to think of celebrities while masturbating so I don’t. Usually when I masturbate I am either thinking of myself or imagining an actual moment in my past when I did have sex. If my memory serves, there was only once when I thought of someone else during sex; this was several years ago.

@jeanna_ I’ve imagined you

Yes, but only under certain circumstances. For one, I’m very loyal and faithful and I would be hurt if I discovered the person I was in love with was fantasizing about someone else while we were being intimate. So, there’s a guilt aspect for me that usually prevents me from doing it.

The times I have, there have been reasons why and it was never like I wished I was with the person I was thinking of, it was more like playing fantasies in my head (or replaying really hot sex I’d had with someone else) to help me get there when I was having trouble getting off. With my last girlfriend, things started off really hot and I didn’t need to rely on fantasy in the beginning. But then as things started to fall apart, I unfortunately needed to fantasize so I could perform to her satisfaction. That relationship really sucked, BTW.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir o.O :D

If you are asking if I’ve purposefully thought of another person in place of the person I’m having sex with in order to better enjoy the sex at that moment then yes, once. It was with a new partner and I was a bit afraid of him. I wasn’t afraid in the sense I thought he’d hurt me but I was very serious about him but not sure if I was sexually attracted and honestly, we slept together too quickly. I envisioned someone else I found sexually attractive in order to try and break my focus on being nervous which worked. After our initial encounter then the sex became fantastic, I became deeply sexually attracted to him in his own right and it never occured to me again to fantasize during sex.

With my current partner I’ve never had that kind of awkwardness or hesitation though I have suspected he fantasizes about other women in place of me because I am not his “type” and it’s something I’m trying to wrap my head around in order for it to not become an issue for me, I’m trying to believe his love for me will also bring him sexual satisfaction with “me”.

I have and unfortunately, called out that person’s name as well.

@TLRobinson: off with your head!

@hungryhungryhortence…possible red flag with the current?

@ru2bz46: Possible but I’ve not brought up the subject so I don’t really know. I can’t imagine he’d say so if it’s happened. I’ve got to assume he is serious about me because of “me” and is not compromising in any way. It’s a work in progress, for sure.

Yeah, someone other than “myself” sounds like a lot of fun.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You should experience the real thing. It’ll knock your socks off.

@Sampson I believe you

@hungryhungryhortence- I know, I know!! I was much younger.

Even many years ago when I had more than one dating relationship in which enjoyable sex was a regular feature, I never once thought about another woman while we were having sex. Even with my ADD, my focus was entirely on that woman and the experience we were sharing. When I am making love, nothing distracts me from her pleasure and our closeness.

Noooo. If I think about anything, it’s what I need to do the next day, or something that happened at work.

Mostly, my mind goes pretty blank during sex. Sometimes, however, someone else slips in there. It’s not bad or good, it just is. I’ll be bopping along sometimes literally and, hey, there’s one of my friends! Then he/she is gone and my mind goes blank again. The way I see it, if something happens inside your mind, that’s okay. Humans aren’t telepathic for a reason. Just as long as you don’t go blabbing about every thought that goes through your head, I don’t much care what you think about. :)

Umm – I think lady gaga does in ppp poker face