What is the appropriate treatment for a person who has a seemingly unshakeable obsession, or fixation, with another person?

It’s a very common occurance for one to become attached to their therapist. The nature of the relationship is just very emotionally intimate. I’m even guilty of it myself. I finally fessed up to my therapist and we decided that it was interferring with my personal growth so we had to terminate the relationship. And after only only a few years of stalking, I’m proud to say that I’m doing just fine!
Seriously, it will probably just take some time. Be patient and present for her.

@loser, this has been going on for at least three years and shows no sign of abating. If anything, Barbara is worse now than when Catherine terminated her therapy and told her not to contact her again. Barbara has no friends because the only thing she’ll talk about is Catherine. She has no life. She needs some kind of intervention. Patience is not what’s needed.

Oh, geez. That is a long time. Have you consulted with someone about maybe doing some kind of intervention?

Is there no way to convince Catherine to meet up with Barbara as casual friends once in a while? I’m thinking maybe the sudden absence of Catherine affects her too negatively.Perhaps slowly lead her away from the relationship would be healthier than a sudden cut-off.
How about introducing an alternative mother-figure? A nanny of some sorts?

Or maybe Catherine might have some suggestions.

I find the best way to deal with a close friend who is getting too close is basically to be otherwise engaged, when they demand your time be polite & just explain you don’t have the time at the moment & you’ll be in touch when you’re less busy, you can’t be there for them all the time, I’ve had this a few times in the past with friends who find themselves at a loose end when their relationships have ended, gradually I’ve extended the, my unavailability to the point where they get the message & moved on with their lives without the need for me having to be too blunt, although I have had to be very blunt on occasion when things were going way beyond us being just mates (Buddies) with one particular friend, he now realises we are not meant for each other Lol….what was going through his mind I don’t know!! But I was flattered at the time Lol, although I very nearly flattened him Lol..
:-/

How does Barbara feel about her attachment to Catherine? Does she recognize that it makes her appear unbalanced? Perhaps if she saw what an obsessed relationship looked like in film, she could recognize the pattern in herself.

@Joe_Freedom:She needs some kind of intervention

then set one up. or have tried that already? talking to her with complete honesty and respect without blaming her or resenting her, anything like that, on your side, can help.

it would take a lot of hard work on your part to purge yourself of anger, etc., but you can do it. once you know in your gut you can talk to her about this without trying to make her feel bad, then go and do it.

Is she obsessive in other areas of her life? Has she ever been evaluated by a psychiatrist? Meds may help.

call the mafia.

EMDR might seem off the wall, but maybe it could help where conventional means have failed.

I’ve actually had it, back when it was a brand new and experimental form of therapy, and it did help.

I apologize for my above comment…I thought you were a different user…I can joke like that with him

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, no problem.

I appreciate all the responses but I suspect I may have failed to emphasize how severe this problem is. Barbara has no life and she cries all the time when she speaks about the situation. She is not really a close friend of mine, but I do want to help if I can, because I feel her life is in such need of help and no one else wants to help her. Her therapist is way too underpowered to help – they make no progress – and I can’t think of any medication that would help.

The only thing that occurs to me that might exorcise this demon from her is hypnosis, or hypnotherapy. Does anyone have any thoughts about the efficacy of such an approach?

@Joe_Freeman I think hypnotherapy works.

I believe that any type of improvement, whether hypnotherapy or intervention has to be preceded by a desire to change on the part of Barbara. If she hasn’t asked for help, then it highly unlikely she can be helped.

@YARNLADY, Barbara certainly wants the situation to change, but her idea of change is being able to reconnect with Catherine, not being able to forget Catherine. So that’s probably a major impediment to her recovery. Such an intractable situation!

Does Barbara have an actual mother? Can she step up to the plate?

Sounds like major abandonment and separation issues, probably going way further back than Catherine. Has Barbara tried any unconventional treatment approaches?

How about getting Barbara to see a new therapist, since the Catherine replacement isn’t getting the job done?

@MagsRags, Barbara’s mom died a few years ago, at which time Barbara started seeing Catherine for therapy, which is when the attachment began. So Catherine is kind of a “replacement mother” for Barbara.

Though Barbara has not tried any unconventional approaches, @Jeruba‘s suggestion of EMDR is a good one and might have a chance. As for seeing a new therapist, she’s already tried that and there’s never any progress. Barbara’s only goal is to reconnect with Catherine; Catherine’s goal is to never interact with Barbara again, probably because she can see that it’s a very unhealthy relationship.

I think it would be very difficult for any new therapist to feel at ease working with Barbara, knowing how she became pathologically attached to Catherine.

Maybe Barbara needs to go back to square one with grief work for her mother’s death? A grief support group might might be worth a shot.

Fastinig and Prayer may be the solution to your situation.