Do you trust people who say they are very confident?

I think it can be real, but I tend to mistrust it too like you.

I trust that people are confident when it is obvious that they are confident. People who claim to be confident, well, aren’t. They shouldn’t need to say anything.

Exactly, @aphilotus, I’d rather see confidence in action.

I think I’ll trust them. People with high charisma usually know what they’re saying(provided it’s rational).

I agree with you. If a person is truly confident, he or she shouldn’t feel the need to share that fact with everyone. It will just show. I’ve never quite understood the whole “acting confident to cover up insecurities” thing. I know that people do it, but I just can’t fathom it. Very odd to me.

It all depends on the context.If someone tells me they’ve been a jacka$$,I’ll believe them every time ;)

Depends. If I ask a particular person for example if he think he can lead a particular IT project and he’s confident about it, this could be true.

Someone who is super self confident is pretty easy to tell if it is genuine or not and although I seldom run into a person like that, I find it rewarding to get to know that person and tend to trust their judgment and abilities. I also find more woman than men have this trustworthy quality. The one common element in the uber sure people I know is they all have wicked senses of humor.

The highly confident person is much more likely to blow a little BS.

I think an over confident person is the same person that says “trust me”. i have never trusted a person that makes this statement. maybe, we are talking about the same person?

I wouldn’t distrust somebody because they say the are confident. I would distrust them if they say they are confident and treat other people like shit or act like thier better then everybody for whatever reason. wheither its because they have a masters degree or they made a million dollars doing some kind of sales work. i pay alot of attention to how people treat other people even on fluther. i see some people talking down to a person for grammar errors or because they have a diffrence in opinion, which are expected ( when in rome, i geuss ) but i feel that everybody should feel good about them selves and i wouldn’t take that away from anyone, unless they are treating people like shit, i just really hate that about over confident people.

I agree that most of the confident people I’ve known don’t feel a need to “profess” that.

But if one is confident and self-aware enough to realize that, then if asked it would be disingenuous (or an outright lie) to say “I don’t know” or “No, I’m not confident”.

And I don’t know anyone (including myself) who is confident in every situation. (Hell, no one has even been in—or could ever be—“every situation”.)

I think confidence in one’s abilities is a good indication of someone’s capacity to achieve something. Someone with ability that lacks confidence can essentially be the same as one without ability. Someone with confidence may achieve his aim through sheer tenacity and employing other means. It was often said that Henry Ford’s brilliance was surrounding himself with capable people who could do what he was unable to do. I see this in business all the time. As far as personal trust in someone they need to exhibit more than confidence but character for me to trust them.

you can tell more by their actions than by what they say. i think most of the time if someone tells you they’re confident, they probably are, but there are of course also those who are very insecure and cant admit it, and usually they can be spotted from a mile away especially if they’re trying to act super confident when they are not.

I tend to have an instinctive mistrust of charismatic people who seem to ooze confidence out of their pores. I tend to see them as predators, playing either a money or power game. While I tend to be overly cynical and pessimistic, I know that caution is called for when dealing with people like this. When their pie-in-the-sky plans crash and burn, it is others who wind up cleaning up the mess.. In some cases, forceful leadership is called for, but it should always be distrusted to some extent and always constrained to be within the leaders specific area of expertise.

I have no problem saying I’m confident. I have no problem with not saying it. I know that I am and others know that I am. They know it without me having to declare it after they spend a little time with me. But if they don’t know me and something needs to get done I will explain to them that I am confident as a person and in my skills and they can depend on me. And they can.

I can’t really assume something about a person’s confidence based on what they say. I mean, I’m inclined to think you don’t need to say it, but were they asked about it or did they just say it out of the blue? The former is not a problem, the latter is a little fishy, but I can’t make any big assumptions. Confidence is something you will see in a person, despite what they may or may not say. I tend to be attracted to guys with confidence and I find confidence admirable. Too many people are not confident and I don’t like it. It’s good to have confidence and even, dare I say it, be confident about it.

@DominicX I agree…I can never be attracted to a person I perceive as meek

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

The funny part is my boyfriend is definitely not the most confident person there is. Doesn’t mean that he hates himself or anything, but that he’s afraid to speak up sometimes and he’s pretty quiet and shy and such. However, compare him to early 2008 when I became friends him to now, there’s a huge difference. Much more confident now. Going to college has only increased it for him.

@DominicX yes, that kind of an improvement would be attractice. As of course is any improvement

Hmmm. I’ll talk before groups of people. I’ll state my opinions as forcefully and as strongly as I know how. I’ll work my ass off when necessary, sure, inside me, that I can do a job that I would find acceptable. I think that the things I say are generally a lot more informed than most people.

But, except for purposes of this question, I’m not going to say that. I’m also not going to consider myself a confident person—although I think I am. Why? Because I don’t trust confident people. I don’t think they question themselves enough. I don’t think they are willing to listen to others. In other words, I don’t think they are really confident.

I think a truly confident person isn’t bothered by being wrong, because they know it comes with the territory, and they’re willing to improve themselves. It’s the same with things like being masculine. I don’t think a truly masculine man is afraid to be seen as emotional or as wimpy or silly or foppish, because they don’t need to posture. They are truly confident of their masculinity.

I guess I think that real confidence does not announce itself. It just is. It’s a kind of fearlessness, but not the brash caricature of fearlessness. It is a smart fearlessness. An informed fearlessness. A willing to withdraw from the scene or even “lose” because it knows this battle does not have to be won. It has no machismo, but it does have grace and a respect for and curiosity about others, no matter how different they seem.

Real confidence is about service for others, not lording over others. Real confidence is humble. No one else will even recognize real confidence until it shows up, and it only shows up when it is truly needed.

Or not. ;-)

@wundayatta
That can be summed up in one line:

Confidence doesn’t need validation.

@wundayatta
Regarding your final paragraph on attitude: those are nice attributes for a person to have, I will agree. But even arrogant, conceited son-of-a-bitching in-charge-of-the-world jerks can be confident. Perhaps you perceive a linkage between your own (apparent) humility and your own confidence, but that’s a correlation without causation.

Not very often. I’m wary of people with a big sense of bravado because experience has shown me most are covering up for insecurities they are ashamed to admit they share with others. Whatever.

@CyanoticWasp I think that’s a good point. I think I got a little off track in my rant. My question, I guess, goes into the gray area between bragging and confidence. I don’t know where the tipping point is. I guess I don’t think a truly confident person needs to brag, but then, as you point out, that doesn’t mean they have to be humble, either. It could just be matter of fact or truthful.

But yeah, I was on a roll there. Sometimes the words and the rhythm take over, and then you go into places you probably shouldn’t go. I like when the words take over, though. It just feels good.

I tend to always take people at their word, and I am rarely disappointed.

@wundayatta

You’re not going to consider yourself a confident person, although you think you are because you don’t trust confident people?

Whatchutalkinbout Willis?

@SeventhSense Huh?

@SeventhSense true story. I’m with you.

@wundayatta
How does one deem or not deem themselves something which they can’t define?

@SeventhSense You can’t. What does that have to do with this?

@wundayatta
Well that’s what you attempted to do but you didn’t define it but simply made a statement which would try to cover all bases. I think rather than confidence your statement was a definition of how to be politically correct.