Ask a room full of manic-depressives if they’d like to go off their meds, and 90% of them would jump at the chance. Between the dislike of side effects and the appreciation of the energy of mania (except for those for whom mania sucks), it is a wonderful thing—even if you know it will be followed by depression. I’m not seeking to justify this. Just telling you what my experience is.
I think that most bipolar people choose to go off their meds knowing the potential consequences and willing to endure them. They believe (fool themselves into believing?) that they will find a way to handle themselves without meds, this time. Or, at least, this is what goes through my mind. If it weren’t for my family, I don’t think I’d be taking my meds. At least, not all of them.
I don’t know what @12_func_multi_tool‘s diagnosis is, so what I’m saying only applies to the people I know—and possibly bipolar people in general.
It’s kind of amazing to be in a room full of manic-depressives when half of them are a little bit manic. It reminds me of the werewolf myth. The energy builds and first one person changes into the wolf, and then the others follow faster and faster because it is too hard to resist that call.
Depressives, on the other hand, will not give up their meds. It’s the only thing they have to keep them living. Being in a room of manic-depressives when they are mostly on a down cycle…. well, you can imagine.
What’s weirdest is when some are really down and some are really up. That’s kind of like the Twilight Zone. Or one of those laser battles where you can’t seen anyone or anything except for the flashes of laser light.
Anyway, the docs don’t know what they’re doing because there is no useful model for predicting the effect these drugs will have. So they go with their favorites and if that doesn’t work, they often throw their hands up in the air and just up the dosage. You have to find another shrink if you want to try something else.
I think that it is possible that the people with experience with the meds know a hell of lot more than the docs do. Some docs also have the problem that their heads are stuck up their asses. It’s kind of hard to see a patient in that position. They prescribe anyway. Their fingers are twitchy, too. You wonder why their signatures are so unreadable? They’re probably just as drugged up as we are.
Anyway, I respect anyone who makes a choice for themselves, even if it is against their shrink’s orders. The shrinks really don’t know as much as they think they do in this area. But they have their professional pride to uphold, and they don’t believe mentally ill people are competent, so they give themselves permission to ignore their patients’ humanity.
It’s sad because many people do take themselves off their meds. They tell their shrink and the shrink refuses to support it, so the patient generally goes off cold turkey, instead of gradually, under medical supervision. That’s just wrong. The medical community should respect the choices of the mentally ill, even if they believe we are making the wrong choices. Who made them God?
I’m going to stop there because if I get into full rant mode, I might be here all night.