Does a break in a relationship make it stronger, if you get back together?

If it was a bone. They heal back stronger.

In my experience, it’s like a break in a sidewalk – a sign not that the sidewalk is in excellent shape, but that it’s starting to decay. Sorry, I know it sucks like a big sucking thing, but I gotta tell it.

In addition to @laureth‘s excellent metaphor, I offer another. Think of a broken plate glued back together. Is that plate stronger then before? No. The plate is weaker and uglier. The “break” in the plate did little to improve its endurance, even when the pieces were rejoined.

The strength of your reunion is not based on the break (make that break-up), it’s based on you two as individuals and your determination to make it work.

Besides, a bone is protected by a shield of flesh. Sidewalks and plates are exposed to the outside world, like a relationship. Any lack of maintenance leads to permanent cracks and breaks.

Any relationship that can handle a storm will be stronger in the end.

In my experience, breaks are just harbingers of the end.

I’ve never gone out with someone twice. For me, if you are to decide to break up with someone, it is to be a permanent decision. A choice like that should never be taken lightly, and once it’s over, it’s over.
But if you truly feel you can make it work and that the breakup was all a big mistake, tell her! If she disagrees, you have to try to start moving on (kind of hard after 9+ years but you can do it!)

I’ve broken up and gotten back together with guys many, many… many times (sigh) and I would have to say that breakups only make the relationship weaker. There’s always a lingering resentment there knowing that your SO was iffy (if even for a moment) about being with you, not to mention that it’s a breach of trust – you shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not your partner wants to be with you.

Despite @laureth and @Spinel ‘s lovely metaphors, they are from their own experience only. Obviously something as complex as a relationship isn’t a plate, bone or sidewalk. Just look at what (the lovely and intelligent) @jonsblond has said.

I think this is a great question – with no answer. Well, there are answers, but each one will be different and will reflect someone’s personal experience. For me, I am still in a kind of relationship where we have often broken it off, only to return again and again and again. The love has never diminished, so we continue to give us a chance. Will it have eventually made us stronger? I don’t know. I’ll keep you posted. ;-)

I think when couples need to take a break from one another, they need a break for good. They shouldn’t get back together because something in the relationship made them give it up in the first place. It’s a sign to move onto bigger and better things.

No. On the Break your other parnter will cheat DONT DO IT

@Zen_Again Perhaps we should call you Flattery_Again, yes? ;)

It depends on whether or not you put effort into mending it.

Learning to deal with conflict and imperfection does make relationships stronger. If the break up is totally ugly it might not work.

@Chongalicious totally agree with your response…but I think the consequences around the decision are individual. ‘Taking a break’ may actually be the action that some couples need to do to realise there love and commitment to each…to take a step out of the dynamics of their situation and put their ‘difficulties’ into context…as sometimes I think it can be hard to see the wood for the trees.

Personally I don’t think ‘taking a break’ would be the best action for me…I know that I would have to cut ties for my own mental health, pick myself back up again and move on.

(Zen Again) Your right a break would be a personal experience and if it makes the relationship stronger or weaker. My ex-girl friend told me that by us taking a break it will make our relationship stronger. I am really hoping for that because I love her so much. Right now we still live together and talk everyday but we are just friends. Trust me it’s hard because I wish I can just hug or kiss her but I can’t. There are times that I catch myself staring at her and I find her attractive every single day. I just wish I could go back to the way things were before because I miss her so much. I just hope and pray that we will get back together. I just want her to realize that she can’t be without me. Like the saying goes you don’t know what you have until you loose it. Right now I know what I have lost and wish our break was over. I tell myself everyday just to wait for her because there is no one in the world I would rather be with.

In my own experience, there’s always consequences after that break.. Getting back together might endup in another breakup and even more painful.. I would just leave it alone and move on.