How long do they keep a mother after she gives birth?

Wow… what? Please provide more background. If this is the mother of your child, I would start with calling every hospital in your vicinity.

It depends. If it was a vaginal birth and she didn’t have any complications, it could be as short as 12–24 hours. Women who’ve lost a baby typically want to go home as soon as reasonable so they can grieve more privately. If the baby was born by C section, 48 hours is usually a minimum.

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re still cut off from information. I hope you’ve found someone in RL or online to talk to.

@essieness I’m in a long distance relationship with the mother, Here was the question I wrote shortly after I got off the phone with her the first time when she first was on the way to the hospital, some of what happened since/after is in the answers.

@MagsRags As far as I know it was a vaginal birth, she wasn’t there long enough to get any sort of medication or pain assistance so it was completely o’natural. The baby was about 8 or 9 weeks premature of the norm but about 3 weeks ahead in development.

@Syger Wow, that’s heartbreaking… I am so sorry you’re going through this. I still think you should start calling every hospital near her.

For a normal vaginal, they usually keep you for 48 hours, and 72 for a c-section. (that’s the norm in my area) With her circumstances, and if there are no complications with the mother, she can sign herself out whenever, but I’m sure they’d keep her for at least 12 hours. They cannot ever force someone to stay in the hospital though. other than mental facilities, of course.

Wait, the other post/link said she was 24 weeks, that is very early, 40 weeks is to term. If they were able to put her on bed rest and give her meds to stop the labor she might be in the hospital for an extended period of time depending on the situation, and if she has insurance that will pay. Did you try to call the area hospitals?

@JLeslie I’d read the rest of the thread. Sometimes there is nothing they can do.

@casheroo Oh, Ok I did not read it, I will. If it was delivered that young, and survived, and they were trying to keep the baby alive the newborn would be in the hospital for a while most likely. Anyway, thanks, I’ll read it.

I just read the thread all the way through, and I am very sorry for your loss. Thanks @casheroo for advising me to do so.

It seems from what others have posted she would have typically been released from the hospital by now, unless they are waiting for Monday? Or, if maybe she was hit by the winter storm and they allowed her to stay in the hospital because the streets are unsafe where she lives. They are very unsafe where I live, we have a sheet of ice on many roadways.

Yes, I’ve heard the weather is quite bad all around.
You should also factor in, that you may want to talk to her, but she may not want to talk to anyone..even you. I wouldn’t take it personally.

@Syger, What city is she in? You can call the hospitals and ask for her room number. There will be a phone in the room, if you hit the right one. They don’t leave you without communications. Does she have a friend you can call?

I’m so sorry.

@PandoraBoxx I’ve tried calling all the hospitals near her house and haven’t had much luck. She hasn’t told anyone about the pregnancy but me as far as I know.

It’s pretty hard to keep a secret like this once you’ve given birth. Tomorrow, you might want to try the county offices for where she lives. The baby will have to have a birth certificate and a death certificate filed if you’ve been given truthful information.

Which segues into an uneasy feeling I have about all this. @Syger have you had any indisputable evidence about existence of this pregnancy? I hope I don’t sound cynical but is it possible that all of this the pregnancy,premature delivery and baby’s death was an elaborate story on her part? There just seem to be so many unusual circumstances conspiring against your effort to be involved and informed. I hope I’m wrong, but in my work I have encountered at least one woman who pretended to be pregnant and then pretended to have a miscarriage when she couldn’t sustain the deception any longer. I’ve also seen women give a false due date to friends and family in order to eliminate doubt about paternity.

Whatever the truth here, you’ve been left in a very difficult position. Please keep us informed.

I’ve seen ~ 3 pictures of her with a much larger belly. (She’s a very small girl) No video or high quality pictures though, she said she was very uncomfortable with how she looked. (understandable) Though nothing completely ‘indisputable’ While I was there and think I felt it move a few times when I first learn of it she wasn’t showing at all, then within the next few days she was according to the very tiny picture I got.
How would I go about that, just call and ask if there is the files there under her name? Would I actually have to be there in person? It’s a few states away and I can’t just drive there, I must wait at least until this next weekend before being able to fly out. Valentine’s day weekend if I am to be able to stay longer than just the weekend.

In my state, birth certificates have to be filed within 2 weeks, and the hospital where the woman delivers is responsible for getting all the information and filing it with the county. I don’t know how much time they have to file a death certificate. I would probably call the county and ask for the office that handles those certificates and they should be able to tell you about timing. It would be under her last name unless she might have given the baby a different last name (yours)?

Today, you could also consider calling larger more “regional” hospitals in the general area where she lives. If she arrived at a smaller hospital that didn’t have a neonatal intensive care unit, they would have transported her out to the closest center that did, if they thought she was stable enough to move.

One more possibility – some women will request that their admission be a “do not announce”. That means if anyone calls looking for information on them, the caller is told there’s no one there by that name.

Do you have the numbers for some of her friends? Is she in a dorm, where you can call the RA, and have them check on her?

I don’t know how “they” keep her, but I’ve had to keep her for over 20 years.

@Syger about fetal movement. With first babies, the pregnant woman usually doesn’t feel it move until 18 to 20 weeks, when the uterus is about at the level of the belly button – that’s about half way through the 40 weeks of full term pregnancy. Most slim women are showing by then. It takes a few weeks to a few months after that for the baby to kick hard enough that someone else can feel.

If you don’t mind me asking, how old is she? And when did you last see her? If that feels like too much for a public board, it’s OK to send me a private comment if you want to.

she just call and was let out of the hospital about an hour ago
thank you all for the support and the advice

I hope you find the peace you need.