Is it just me, or am I somehow less appreciated in the Fluther community?

I have days where I feel this, too. Is it days when we are feeling down for a different reason?I am not against you.

it’s true, we all hate you!

haha, just kidding…seriously? it’s just you…

I’m sorry that’s happening. It’s happened to me before, too, & probably to every member here. Some days it makes me wonder why I even bother to post here. But I recognize you as being funny & friendly. Go back & see the PM I sent you about the post you made on my 10K question. :-)

Yes. ;-)

lol

I often feel this way here myself, but I really couldn’t say why. Mostly I’m ignored, but that’s probbaly because most of my answers are indirect or not very serious, but on the other hand when I come back from school or work, I’m not in the mood to type whole essays.
And even when I do, the same thing mostly occurs.

With that said, I’ve long noticed that this is a very unique community, which may demand a bit more effort than most other social Q&A sites, so this in itself may be a reason, since most folks online come on to divert themselves or take a load off.
I appreciate the intelligence and maturity on this site a whole lot, don’t get me wrong, but I seriously can’t help but to feel frustrated when it feels that I have no choice but to attempt and fit in, so I pretty much give up haha.

May or may not be the same for you, or maybe it is just you, I really can’t say, but it most certainly is an issue I’ve noticed.

@Symbeline Don’t give up on trying to fit in. It took me a long time to feel at home here. There was like an “in crowd”, & it’s hard to penetrate it. I STILL feel like an outsider here with a few. I’ve been here quite a while & some still ignore me. Hang in here.

A reflection of the real world isn’t it?

@Symbeline I appreciate you! You were one of the first in my Fluther. I just rarely see your responses. Silly girl.
Now get busy and start writing that essay. I want 500 words in the next half hour or else! ;-)

@Symbeline You sure are appreciated here. At least by this jelly!

I have good and bad days, my humor goes flat sometimes. The support that I’ve recieved in my depression has been truly awesome. I think it may be more a matter of our own perceptions rather than how others are intentionally acting toward us. Persistance and good humor, as @jbfletcherfan says.

@Trillian I remember. :) You’re the one who taught me how to “whisper” to people. :D

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Oh I know. But we’re both Baggers so that may explain that. Funny how we barely ever spoke on AB though. XD And yeah, you make a good point with interpretation rather than reaction. I’m just totally emo. XD

Guys, I was a Bagger for the short period of time left before they changed the format….

@Symbeline I thought you were Goth? Or can you be both? :D

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Yeah, saying I was an Emo was a little humour to make fun of my own interpretation. XD

@Symbeline I thought I had missed something, being un vielle soldat

I was gonna answer this, but I like Jeruba’s question better.

Whether y’all were “baggers” or not, you’re welcome here. I’ve gotten to be very good friends with some. It’s like we fugitives from other sites are coming together. Rather cool, I think.

Thanks, Stranger… :-)

@Fred931, first of all, good question. I’m glad to see that someone else has had that feeling. I think that more than have posted here have felt that at one time or another. I know that I have, and once I thought about just not coming back because I was so irritated. but then, I have really stupid mood swings. Anyway, just stick it out and try not to engage in pointless arguments with the ones who have chips on their shoulders or the ones who just want to stir things up. There are a very few whom I never answer in any way. I’m sure there are some who feel the same way about me.
It’s ok. Everybody isn’t going to like everybody, or agree with everybody else. That’s not how it works.
Tomorrow, or even in an hour maybe, you’ll feel better.
And on the bright side, when you’re really down and let us know, lots of people jump in and give you that much needed support in spite of differences we may have had. This is a great community.

This is the first I’ve noticed you.

It is not true of me and you. I am sorry that you feel that way.

@Trillian has a very good point about staying out of arguments. On other sites, arguments and insults could gain you a popular following; not here. If a debate gets too hot here, I just bail out, instead of going for the jugular like I was used to.

Right. I wasted ny time a bit when I first started here, mostly just trying to clarify my position to a few who seemed intent on not just misunderstanding but spinning what I said into something completely other. I generally don’t even bother trying even once if someone takes a swing now. It’s not worth the trouble, especially with someone who is hostile or combative right out of the chute. Don’t get angry with other opinions. Expect differences, and discuss but don’t…ahhhh, you get it.

I make it a point to continue being friendly, even to those who have insulted me. Sometimes it was only a misunderstanding, or they had heard some crap from grudge-bearers from other sites. I just think of it like water off a ducks back. Sometimes turning the other cheek does work; if it doesn’t, the offender can just be ignored.

I can only speak for myself, but I don’t feel that way about you or your answers. As a matter of fact, I know I have given you lurve on several occasions. I’m sorry you don’t feel as though you are fitting in, but I personally feel that is one of the best parts of The Collective, no one really fits in. We are all here trying to share opinions and information and trying to have a little fun along the way. Hang in there Fred!

To be honest, your user name and avatar are very generic so, at least for me, I don’t recognize you. That doesn’t mean I don’t lurve you, though.

It’s easy to have days where you feel like nobody gets you or that you do nothing but say the wrong thing, but you’ll also have really great days if you keep at it.

Oh I really don’t think you should take any of this personally – people fluther in different ways on different days…there is no one solid ‘fluther community’ on any given day..it ebbs and flows and as we go through the qs, we clump together sometimes and then de-clump into our own little jellies or groups of jellies…but each day is a new day, really.

No, it’s not just you. A bunch of us jellies in the chatroom decided to shun @Fred931 because we just felt like it. Sorry, but them are the breaks.

Everyone feels like this once in a while, except probably Jeruba and AstroChuck.

@JONESGH = @AstroChuck Lucky bastard who was ALREADY an audiophilic show-off who is 6 years old.

I’m sorry, but have we met before?

People, it takes work to get attention. Not blatant appeals for pity. Or, well, hmmmm. Perhaps not. I’ve used that technique many times myself. Perhaps it’s appeal has worn off?

@Fred931 ehhh?

@JONESGH Unrelated post. Don’t remember where, though…

I wouldn’t worry about fitting in. Just go with the flow. Plus a lot of the Jellies I am close to I got “introduced” to in odd ways, some by thinking alike about a question, some from following my tumblr, one in particular from contacting me after I broke Fluther, etc. I also frequented the chat room every now and then. So, just enjoy yourself and answer how you like!

Another thing is there are a lot of people on here. I’m not very well known either, so I wouldn’t sweat it! Good Luck!

@wundayatta – GA. :)

Hi Fred! I appreciate you. :)

I think people have their own groups, and so don’t tend to notice people outside of it.

@Dibley I don’t know – maybe I’m just oblivious but I’ve never really any noticed any groups on here.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I haven’t either. There are people who have been friends longer, but I wouldn’t consider that a group.

@AstroChuck Thanks. I’m trying to change my ways. Focus on strength instead of weakness (without denying weakness—or maybe changing weakness into strength).

Fluther is nowhere near as clique-ish as many sites I’ve been on. The only problem
I had was with a very few who were determined to carry old grudges over from another site (that was quickly dealt with by the mods). The long-time Jellys were openly welcoming from the very beginning.

The biggest adaptation that I had to make was in letting the moderators do their job, rather than reacting vigilante-style as had been necessary on unmoderated sites. I quickly learned to keep my six-shooter holstered and let the deputies handle things.

@Fred931- Just to make certain: You do know I was just kidding, right?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I often see newer users claim that there are groups or cliques but I can’t think of any. There are people who have more in common with each other (similar fields of expertise) who tend to reply on the same threads, but it’s not like they intentionally band together. Maybe it’s just group A- the more known jellies, and group B the lesser known jellies? Some in between? I dunno.

@ubersiren there are no groups but what people perceive is what they’ll perceive.

I have felt like this too but seeing as I feel like this in my day to day life I figured it’s me and not everyone else. Recently I have started to feel like my input is appreciated on Fluther and that’s a nice feeling but it took me a while to feel this way. I hope you start to feel appreciated too because I can honestly say that I don’t think any of the regular jellies go out of their way to ignore or snub anyone.

I hate to admit this, but if I’ve written a post for something & down the line I don’t even get one GA or a comment back, I stop following that question. I guess I feel that what I’ve said wasn’t worthy of anything, so I just leave.

@AstroChuck Is Too Tall Jones too tall?

@jbfletcherfan I admit to the same thing. I assume that what I said didn’t resonate with anyone. I get confused and frustrated trying to follow more than about 10 active questions and I respond to so many, I’m forced to be selective or go crazy trying to juggle too many things. I use the lurve list as an imperfect way of “following” response to answers I’ve made to questions I’ve de-selected. I decided not to make any technical suggestions about the site until I’m no longer a noob; I don’t want to seem presumptuous (I have a suggestion for a fix but I’m withholding making it).

@stranger_in_a_strange_land I hear you. There’s two that I just hit the ‘stop following’ button. I guess I have no more to say there, & my comment was just kinda left hanging, so I’m outta there.

As far as the technical thing you’re talking about, I’m sure they’re always willing to listen to a good idea.