Have you ever had to deal with a friend's/family member's/acquaintance's suicide?

Yes I have. It is confusing and leaves most people wondering why?

I have seen the ripples of suicide from a previous generation. That is how big a deal it is, and how long the effects last.

All you can know is that the person was locked in despair and wanted the pain to end. The pain was so great, it pushed out thoughts of other people, even family and loved ones.

Be prepared for your friend to run the whole gamut of emotions including anger.

Anytime someone takes their own life leaves anyone who knows or knew that person feeling an intense feeling of why over a sudden seemingly senseless loss of life especially when they are young lives cut short by suicide. Answering why is a long often painful journey retracing many steps that could have been handled differently by those who are left behind.

The husband of one of my closest friends took his own life as their marriage was falling apart. It was a horrible time for everyone who knew either of them or their daughter. It is very difficult and as @DrBill says, everyone continues to ask why even now, 20 some years after the fact. All I can say is to keep putting one foot in front of the other, do not let your friend blame herself (or blame yourself for that matter), and just try to be there for one another.

Two friends of mine have done that.I miss them very much.

I have been through this with my first husband AND my baby brother.
Truth is, the people who are best at putting up a happy facade are the ones that you need to worry the most about.
There were whole groups of people who couldn’t believe my husband could do that because he seemed so happy. Only his family and close friends ever saw the demons that haunted him.
I’m sorry for your friends loss. She will wonder if there is anything she could have done. Guilt is counter productive, but a natural response. Just be there for her and listen.

I see people searching for explanations and wondering what they could have done. I wonder, could anything really have made a difference? I’m not at all sure. The pain that one wants out of is not caused by external circumstances. It is caused by stuff that goes on inside our brains.

Yes, in some cases, a prompter visit to the shrink or to therapists might have helped. And yes, the fact that the US doesn’t have universal health insurance or equal coverage of mental conditions means that access to medical care is much more limited for depression than for other conditions. But even if we did have parity for mental health care and even if people had complete access to mental health care, I don’t think we’d see much change. There is too much shame about mental illness and depression for that.

Yes, several kids I went to school with.

A very close friend of mine killed himself a few years ago and i still think about it everyday. I think about what I could have done to prevent it, why?, and a million other questions. Honestly it was the hardest thing Ive ever had to deal with. The only advice I can give is don’t blame yourself, or let your friend blame herself, and try not to let it ruin your life (its not what she would have wanted).

Thanks, all, for sharing your advice and stories…it has definitely helped reading shared experiences. My friend just left a bit ago and she said she felt much better after talking about it and just hanging out. There’s still a lot of questions of course, most of which will probably never be answered. It’s just a very sad situation.

An old friend did. If he didn’t do it himself, someone else work have. He blew his brains out, leaving behind his three month daughter.