How many times would you deal with someone like this?

Only after you promise this involves no other jellies will I answer this question.

If she was truly a friend, you wouldn’t be asking this.

@liminal It doesnt.

Well, they say that the depressed person cannot perceive that they are worth anything, no matter what you say or how many times you say it. I’d guess, without knowing any details, that your friend is depressed. The problem is that you’re not a therapist and the needs of your friend unfortunately go beyond your capabilities. this person probably needs professional counseling and possibly medication. It is a distinct possibility that she may well take her own life without professional help.
Would she consider such a course of action?

Maybe if you tried to get her some help she would stop.

I know someone like this- it’s called emotional blackmail, I say ok I’m calling 911. If you ever talk like this around me, I will call 911. stopped. and she’s still alive

@tinyfaery She’s been in a mental hospital more than anyone I’ve ever met. So yeah…

There’s two kinds of suicidal people. those who do it, and those who don’t. Those who don’t do it, never do. He just wants attention from you. You are wasting your time. If somebody is really serious about killing themselves, you usually never see it coming. I know I didn’t.

That last one was supposed to be @Trillian Lol

I’m sure you mean well, but if you do really care “deal with” is the probably the wrong wording of this question. Sorry if it’s not intended that way, but when you use that wording this just hits me the wrong way.

I agree with @trailsillustrated . That person needs more help than you can give. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s been to the mental hospital. It sounds like she still belongs there.

It may be time to try the “broken record” technique. This is where you don’t say anything different anymore. Find your favorite sentence “Sounds like it is time for you to see a therapist.” or like @trailsillustrated said “You are important to me and I take your life seriously. I am calling 911.”

@liminal She doesn’t talk to me right now. She got mad that I wasn’t going to be anything more but friends with her ( which is funny cuz she has a boyfriend). But knowing her, shes going to run out of people willing to listen and start talking to me again. (This has happened too many times to count).

@Shield this person is mental in a toxic way. no great loss. let her wear someone else out

@VanCityKid I think that you may be taking a dangerous position. I don’t think someones mental illness can be so neatly written off as an either/or type of thing. It sounds like you have some experience in this matter on a personal level. Whether or not this is the case, I just think that your answer is based on a limited knowledge of something and to assume a person won’t take their own life because they didn’t the last time is risky. As I understand it, the talking about it is a cry for help. I know that sounds dramatic, but consider; the downward spiral of an emotionally hurting person. She needs help and she knows it. Something in her makeup is not allowing her to seek help, or to benefit from it if she does get a bit of help. But she knows something is wrong beyond her ability to fix. So she tells someone. Again and again. He can walk away in disgust like you want him to do, or he can maybe call 911. I’d prefer to call 911 simply because I’m not qualified to look at someone and make the call whether or not they’re actively suicidal. Maybe you are.

@trailsillustrated You’re probably right…. But to know me is to know that regardless of how people treat me, I’ll still do anything for them. Like I still do things that would make my parents happy with me, I’d still walk on my hands for any of my exes even though all but one of them treated me like complete shit. So by saying it would be no great loss, would be to imply that I’m going to give up on her; and that would never actually happen.

@Trillian – Yeah, I admit that it is a very black and white example I gave, I missed a large portion of grey. From my limited experience though, the one’s to commit suicide were always discrete and you would have never guessed that they would have wanted to kill themselves. I also knew a hell of a lot of boys and girls through grades 9 through 12 that would talk about this just as the question asker’s friend would, and nothing ever happened. I do believe in the cry for help technique as sometimes people feel like dying, but don’t actually want to do because deep down they know that if they get the help they are looking for they won’t have to give up. With this case I definitely wouldn’t take it seriously, or even as a cry for help, I do believe that this person is seeking attention. But again, I don’t know the person.

@Shield_of_Achilles the person who does this to me is close to my heart and someone I love deeply- but I was feeling used- I made it very clear that I would call 911— she doesn’t talk that shit around me anymore- and I mean I would do it- they put them in lock down in a hospital for 48 hours and evaluate them

Maybe you should take it more seriously and help them get the assistance they need. How would you feel if you stopped contact with them because you were annoyed with them complaining, and they did take their own life? sorry, but wouldn’t you feel really guilty?

I have a friend like this. For him it’s not suicide, but he’s so emo, he’s always, and I mean ALWAYS, lamenting about how he’s useless, doesn’t deserve friendship, will never be good enough for anyone, can’t do anything right, how he’s always lonely and on and on.

It’s sad for me to say this of a friend, but he has absolutely NO life, and he always dismisses my advice. Now of course mine may not be any good, but everyone tries to help him…before they give up. I’ve come to the conclusion that he just wants attention and sympathy and nothing else, yet I’ve dealt with him ever since I was 19, and I’m 27 now.
He’s really hard to deal with though, and is sometimes extremely insensitive, whether he knows it or not, but I think he has severe problems, and we have been friends forever so.

I mean that’s not ALL he’s about, it’s just a fault, but a damn big one. I wish he could find a girlfriend or something so his esteem would rise then he’d stop crying all over my lap all the time haha.

But to answer the question, I’m patient, and while I don’t believe I’m being used, even if I am, he has shown himself to be a real friend more than once in other ways. People ain’t perfect. So that’s why I’m still dealing with it-if he wasn’t a friend, I wouldn’t look at him twice, as I generally avoid attention fishers like the plague.

And when attention isn’t the name of the game, well you can only help them as much as they want to help themselves…if it concerns suicide however, I’d interfere with the help of phone lines and such. If it’s repeated and always false, I’d like to say that I’d tell em to fuck off, however it really isn’t wise to fuck with suicide even if it seems a fallacy.

@VanCityKid Your statement is false and dangerous information to spread around.

It is common that healthy people get frustrated and annoyed with those who are depressed.

It is scientifically documented. It is not your fault. It is the basis of the self-fulfilling prophesy held by many depressed people, that “all my friends and loved ones will reject me!”

I don’t think you are a very good friend to them. If you were any kind of friend then you would be there for them, instead of being selfish. I’m pleased I don’t have any friends in my life, if your the example of a friend.

@jonsblond Exactly.

This person either trusts you, is using you, or is in love with you. only you can decide. in any event, i would continue to respond to her cries for help from you.

It can be trying at times but the point is you should fear for the fact that at the moment when you do give up on them, they might just end their life…not necessarily because of you but because yet another lifeline is gone.

@VanCityKid I think what you have said is an outrageous assumption.