How do you deal with a grannie who thinks she knows everything?

So she is not perfect. Love her and give her respect.

One day you just might be a grannie.

@ChazMaz , I know and I do but I just don’t like it….

Someday soon you’ll wonder where she went and you’ll miss these fights. Just smile and be patient and it will be fine.

It’s hard to teach old dogs new tricks. Just be patient, and know she’s kinda set in her ways. Instead of just saying “yes” perhaps you should have gone further to explain it’s different now and show her the instructions

Can you show her the directions on the bag? I plan on being a pain in the butt when I’m old too. Maybe I’ll write to her and get some tips.
What do you mean she asks about what to eat? Where are your parents? Can’t they assist her? Or you could say “Eat whatever you want, don’t bother me while I’m sleeping.”

According to Wikipedia, “about 55 % of the population [of Zambia] are reportedly living on $2 per day.”

Not sure your granny’s particular background, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you need to hold her hand through many technologically superior things (like heat-resistant plastic) that she’s not yet acquainted with.

Rather than just arguing with her, why didn’t you show her how it’s done?

Sounds like she just wants to hang out with you:)

@RandomMrdan , I can’t show her the instructions because its in danish, swedish, and other langueges I don’ t understand

@Thesexier Ah HAH! Then she might be right!

@Trillian, no she isn’t because dad understands danish so he told m ehow to cook it….
When I am at school my dad is at work , mom is at school too so shes alone home, but she doesn’t eat…

Has she been hungry all day, not knowing how to deal with the things she finds in your kitchen, which are all strange to her, and waiting for someone to come home and help her?

It is your parents’ responsibility to see that she knows how to take care of herself in your household. You should speak to them. She should speak to them. Is either of your parents from Zambia? If so, they should know what she’s expecting and help her find familiar things or teach her how to use the strange new ones.

If no one else is helping her, please be kind and show her gently. Or offer to fix something for her. The way you treated her will stay with you long after she’s gone; don’t make it a memory of regret.

Well for crying out loud @Thesexier! Give her a hand! She’s a stranger in a strange land and she needs your help.

Well she knows how to make everything. Anyway I’ll try

If she knows how to make it….why was she having trouble with the rice in the bag? And anyway, if she wants to take it out of the bag, I’m sure that’s no big deal either. I know older people can be frustrating sometimes, especially for younger kids but they have a wealth of knowledge and life experiences that you can’t even begin to imagine, and for that they deserve your respect, 100%. And patience. And you need to defer to her.

It sounds like she is used to—for lack of better distinction—real rice. Not minute rice which is cooked very differently. She has probably not ever cooked rice in a plastic bag. So from her perspective, you are completely wrong and being unhelpful. You need to go beyond telling her—if she’s not listening to you, you should show her.

Have some patience. She’s a guest. Treat her with love and respect.

How long is she going to be with you? That may affect your tolerance level. If she’s only going to be with a few weeks, suck it up. It it’s for a long time, find a way to be polite and loving for a short time and then make yourself scarce.

I suppose you’ll just have to be patient and try and show her how to use everything in your kitchen. Good luck! I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it after a while.

Thanks everyone, p.s shes staying with us for 3 months ;D

We (grannies) are supposed to be odd and difficult. We learn from each other that way. She may not understand your culture but you don’t understand hers either. Take time to listen to her stories. She has years of history to convey
When she is dead and gone those very things that annoy you now will make you smile when you remember her.

@Judi‘s suggestions is a great one and maybe you can combine it with mine. Try to carve out some time you can spend with her, and really focus on talking, listening to her stories and helping her with what she needs. Then, tell her you have to do homework, excuse yourself and go to your room. Even more so than with children, for grandparents it’s a lot about quality time and feeling wanted and validated.

Maybe you and your family should invite me to come to Iceland (I love Iceland). I’d be delighted to hang out with your grannie. Let me know.

Grandma’s sometimes forget, just cook for her and maybe it will make her feel happy…

You will miss her when she is gone…enjoy her company while you can.

You could possibly talk to her about what she would like to cook and eat, and then talk to your parents about what she needs. Perhaps supplying her with a few familiar items will help her relax into feeling comfortable enough to be able to consider the Icelandic way of doing things.

For all you know, she may be frightened and feeling alone, since everything is so different and she cannot communicate with anyone outside of the family. She may hide it well, being a grandmother and having raised her kids, but she probably feels out of place.

Here’s a little newsflash for you. Rice in a bag is only better in terms of convenience.

The texture and taste are definitely NOT better. Empress Pixie is correct to make a distinction between this plasticized abomination of modernity and REAL RICE.

But why not check that out for youself. Have your parents take her to the store to get some REAL RICE and whatever seasonings she normally uses. Let her make you all a pot of real rice. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Here’s another little thought to ponder. I know that teenagers think that no one on Earth knows as much as they themselves do. However, sometimes it may help to realize that grandparents and parents know some things that young people have yet to discover simply because they have logged in more time on the face of the Earth. Some things are only learned by experience. Your Granny has a lifetime of experience. So, it just may be possible that you can learn a thing or two from her. It just may be possible if you’ll allow a little window of openness in your mind :D

The junk in the bag is a very poor substitute. If you’ve never experienced real rice cooked by someone for whom if has been a staple of their lives, you have nothing for comparison.

Can some Asian or Middle Eastern Flutherites chime in here to let her know whereof I speak. There is nothing as delicious as a marvelous Pilaf made with Basmati rice. Nothing.

I haven’t used rice in a bag since I was a starving university student. Then I ate it because it was cheap, not because it tasted good. Currently I make Japanese medium grain rice, Basmati rice, or Jasmine rice, and I do it in a pot on the stove – it is just as easy if not easier than using a rice cooker.

Even better, perhaps you could find the ingredients for her to make nshima and maybe a chicken curry or some ifisashi.

I know, grandmas can be such a pain, it feels like that anyway, especially when you are a teenager and feeling newly independent. Perhaps you could distract her by playing some kind of game she enjoys e.g. card games, word games, board games etc. Find some neutral ground.

I have never cooked rice in a plastic bag (I hate to say it but it sounds disgusting)

That would be somewhat annoying. She sounds kind of dependent, but that could be for a number of reasons:

1. She’s being polite and doesn’t want to eat without permission
2. She is from another culture and she’s not used to pre-packaged foods (since she was confused by the rice in a bag).
3. She is suffering from Alzheimer’s or dementia. That can cause dependent behavior because the sufferer forgets things.

As far as her being a know it all, is this assessment based on the rice issue, or is that her general temperament? If the former, then she was probably arguing with you because the idea of convenience foods doesn’t jibe with her experience. If the latter, then just try to be patient. I agree with janbb’s suggestion of giving her a little face time and then politely excusing yourself when you need a break.

She’s alone most of the day in a foreign country. She doesn’t speak the language. Put yourself in her shoes and try to be more patient; she is your grandmother and guest after all.

I’d do anything to see my grandmothers again.. enjoy your time with yours while she’s still around

Smile, nod, say “yes granny” then give her a big hug and say thank you. Repeat as necessary.

Great answers everyone. sweetheart, I can only tell you, if the powers that be offered me 10 more minutes with my beloved Grandmother, and then said for that 10 minutes I’d need to give up the rest of my life… well I’d say hell yes so fast. There are, unfortunately no second chances in this life. If she’s only visiting with you for 3 months, please make the very most of your time with her. As our fellow jellies above have said, she’ll be gone some day and you’ll have lost all of her stories and experiences, which are, believe me, worth more than you can ever guess. Also, look at this from your Gran’s point of view. I promise you honey, she loves you so much. My own dear wee Gran always used to tell folk that while she had liked being a mum she bloody loved being a Granny lol. She loved all of us beyond reason and would have died for any of us. I was really close to my Gran and she left me with so many stories and wonderful memories. I miss her so much that it really is a physical pain. Any time you give her, every little smile, will mean the absolute world to her, because you are a part of her. Please be kind honey and give her a hug, make her feel loved.

I do think you should speak to your parents about her not eating. She could become ill, perhaps she doesn’t feel she is allowed to take food without asking? Please try to re-assure her that its ok to eat when she’s alone or make her a small meal she can heat, or leave her sandwiches? sending you mountains of hugs honey, I’m very jealous and I so wish I had the opportunity to hang out with my Gran again like we used to.
love and hugs xx

Just make the most of the time you have with her. She is only visiting.

One day she might not be around to visit you!