Why do we always want the things we can't have most?

“Success is on the edge of failure.” If we have nothing to strive for, we don’t really have a reason to live.

In terms of evolutionarily advantageous behaviour, aiming for the top and constant dissatisfaction with second-best is a winning strategy.

Individuals, predisposed to such behaviour by their genes, are that much more successful, and so propagate their genes and the associated behaviour more effectively than the others. This happened over millenia of evolution and is observed in many other organisms. It is in fact the essence of all Life, as the previous poster alluded.

Of course this is just a tendency.
As humans, we can override these with our higher consciousness, for better or worse.

I would disagree. I personally do not “always want most the things (I) can’t have.” I am happy with what I do have.

Because that might be the only chance we can get it. Another reason is that we tend to associate that as rarity in for ourselves since we know not many people can get that thing.

It’s in our contrary natures. Not having those things tends to make us want them. What’s out of reach seems more desirable than what’s within our grasp.

But most desirable of all is to learn to be happy with what we have. This does not usually happen when we’re very young, perhaps partly because we may fulfill some of our aims over our lifetimes, but even more because we may gain a little wisdom.

As people age, they tend to (if they know whats good for them) move away from such feelings, as they come to realisation that these desires are counter-productive.

One thing people ask, when they start to get old,
is, “If I’m past my peak, why bother going for gold?”

I don’t want what I don’t have – I want what I have and I want to keep it.

because

@Eap6389 Welcome to Fluther.

To answer your question, I don’t think that we do. We just feel those wants more because they are likely to remain unfulfilled for life. If I really want a latte from Starbucks or a sandwich from the fridge, I get up and go get it. I feel enough wantingness to move, and it’s then fulfilled, and I don’t think about it any more. But if I want something it’s unlikely I can ever attain in the real world, thoughts about that desire can soon dominate my every daydreaming session. Letting it do so might not be a healthy thing, but it is definitely an easy thing. It takes real mental discipline to do anything but that.

Why do we love what is bad for us?

Why do we want what we don’t need?

Why do we fear what we don’t know?

Why do we fight what is right?

We just do…

its called the human condition

Because many people limit themselves to just having a pleasant life, a life of enjoyment. Once they move beyond this, they might find a good life, or even a meaningful life where they focus on their virtues and strengths.

Eventually they might discover that what they really want is curiosity, open-mindedness, realistic expectations and the love of learning. They might also seek self control, mindfulness, gratitude and forgiveness. Can they have this? Yes, if they are patient and perseverant.

Above all, they learn that material things are not the main source of happiness.