Can we press the "Coherent Story" button again?

“What was that?!” I exclaimed loudly.

As I heard the odd scurrying sound.

I began searching frantically for my

shotgun, but I had no more shells.

I then began searching for a

bow and arrow

But then I realized: “Hey wait,

I’ve just had a baby!”

Perhaps the noise is my baby?

Then I heard the thump!

That’s no baby, so I turned

around and saw this unbelievably huge

ugly, stinking, but oddly attractive

rabid donkey. Fearful, I ran for

the kitchen.

“Where did I put those vaccines?”

I opened the drawer

nothing. Another drawer, nothing.

Then I remembered where I’d left

“The Fridge” I exclaimed. I moved toward

my wife. “My god!” I exclaimed,

“You look like a rabid donkey”

Why don’t you go back

to bed for awhile.

Then I heard a huge crash

It was then I realized,

I had forgotten about the donkey.

It was stuck up my neighbors ass!

I fell over laughing mine off.

And landed on the floor, hard.

Another thump. Was it me?

But yet amazingly soft.

And woke up the baby!

WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA

I went to her crib.

She looked up at me with

fear and trepidation—or was

that rabies?

Definitely fear & trepedation

That smell?

Oh god

That triple-answer? or Quadruple-answer?

I picked the baby up.

Oh, she was wet!

I kept picking her up.

What was I thinking…

because she was slippery.

Smelled like donkey poop!

And then I heard another thump.

More poop.

She needs a bath!

I looked around, but there was

nothing but pooping and thumping.

I saw the floor and said,

a BIG dog!

The dingo ate my baby!

“Eff this,” I thought, turning to

the front door

where the donkey had ended up.

The back door.

Having a donkey for a door

Which one to choose??

LOLLLLL…....trying to get out!

“We need an editor!” I cried.

And a slice of cheese!

This story sucks!!!

noooooo…it’s fun

So let’s make it another one?

Keep it going, just make a different story… somehow…

What was a sucky story was just a dream.

If that thumping doesn’t stop

Im going to shoot something randomly.

I’ll go out of my mind!

The thumping was my heart, the dumping was my woman in the bathroom.

She is such as ass.

you need a new woman!

@ChazMaz 6 words or less, please.

hey, that WAS 6 words!

thump…thump…thump…

“The donkey’s in the bathroom!”

And it wants a wheel of cheese.

get meat & crackers, too

And i’ll shoot @ChazMaz for typingmorewordsthanisallowed!!

but before you do that, please

Order an appetizer for everyone else

shoot with rubber bullets

So the coffee machine finally went off…

And it transformed into a robot

and over flowed on the counter

@ChazMaz 6 words or less or GTFO. Seriously now.

and turned into an Avocado

That smelled oddly of coffee grounds.

Ooohh..I LOVE avacadoes. Gimme, gimme…

and deep fried chicken livers

ICK!

and orange, oddly-shaped onion rings.

But it was the dog, the dog I tell you!!

here we go again…...

And again.

AND AGAAAAIN

whoot! one more time! :D

Oh no. Late for work!

said the awesome ChazMaz

So, I grabbed my hockey stick

better get going :-(

and killed @ChazMaz for disobeying instructions.

ahahaaaaaaa

BUT HE LIVES! HE IS A

ROCK MONSTA

Holy shit I better get a

what happened to the donkey???

HIP HOPSTA

@Mike_Hunt bigger stick

Where did I put it?
It’s tough for this to be coherent with 50 flutherites going at once.

it can’t keep up…... :-/

The Donkey. The Douche. The Doorbell?

The donkouchebell.

Then Clint Eastwood was like

the donkey. douche is bad karma

So the doctor said…

You’ve got nine days…

until?

Before you commit suicide unintentionally.

oh, hell…..nooooooooo

said Clint Eastwood

AS he fell

with his best Will Smith impersonation

big bad Clint

Or did I mean clit?

LOLLLLLLL….go, Chaz. ’-)

said Gordon Freeman

to a can of tuna.

“Worst answer ever!” it replied.

130 responses!!

He was smashed by TEH BANHAMMAH

130 times.

And out of nowhere came Gumby!

Huh? This is off the rails.

he said as he prepared

@ChazMaz hot damn! :D

Hot dam @ChazMaz !

his tuna sandwich. So much for

the whore it is.

chicken is better

I HAVE TO INSTATE THIS RULE BECAUSE OF CONFUSION. IF YOU ARE MAKING A SIDE COMMENT/JOKE/ETC, PLEASE USE THE WHISPER FUNCTION. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

and that doesn’t count, btw

than taking drugs and wine simultaneously.

Guess I need to leave

And talk to my doctor about

my penis

I never whisper. Said the donkey.

The pie got angry

“OMG a talking donkey!”, said I

Haven’t I heard of this before?

Said the dish to the spoon.

After overhearing this very unusual conversation,

I was asked to read this,

Via very annoying public comment spamming

but it beats masturbating with razors.

A truth we just cannot deny.

Ouch!! sait the talking donkey!

To the Norelco Santa.

I would rather be gazing on

my navel,

or a dancing ladybird eating twinkies

but alas,

lint is the bane of winter’s

existence. So I dusted with my

dusting feather, and lo

I found that stupid earring that

I lost last spring.

So, I fired up my chainsaw

And yelled “Stick em up!”

The donkey did as it was

doing the chicken dance very well!

Until he spotted the MAN!

Dum dum dum…to be continued…

He was a tall stinky man,

He opened his mouth to say

Ask not what your country can

Screw you out of,

But what it screws you into

He pressed the button that said

Warning: doomsday device has been activated

the man starts to sing

“Daisy, daisy, gimme your answer, do”

more than half crazy I’m afraid…

this is not very coherent.

But still I manage to

find my butt when I need to

Cover my a$$ at times that

suggest the police are arriving shortly.

weapons drawn and going in hot!

Then donkey aims his water pistol..

And the whole world blows up.

THE END

Wow. Just, wow.

Then, another universe opened up…

She never knew that acquiring tentacles would lead to

the heartbreak of psoriasis. Fortunately, aluminum-siding

and a good stiff drink

and apparently you can use more than six words in this new universe :)

where anarchy continues to reign

being grammatically correct at all times.

Meanwhile, a donkey, wookin’ pa nub,

Then I heard the thump!

Apparently, nub can be self induced.

So, I grabbed my hockey stick

and experienced the joy of

my wife. “My god!” I exclaimed,

as she flailed her ever so frail arms.

like a monkey in a mango tree

grasping and flailing, but at what?

I realized; “My muffins are burning!”

the smoke, the fire, call 911!

What was the number again?!

Or was that 711?

Tossing reindeer, it simply isn’t done.

Especially when covered with popcorn.

getting the fire under control, I…

flew to go and cop porn!

Unfortunately, all that could be found

were 100 discarded panty liners.

And some Cheez Whiz.

With a little whipped cream on

the earlobe.

so I decided I would…

Make a twice-baked potato before I

try to detach the zipper from my scrotum.

and then i woke up from my dream

and the zipper was still stuck

painfully to my tender skin

I was amused and slightly embarrassed

wondering if silver lame pants

worn by Rod Stewart would ever

So I called my family doctor

to get her opinion about

a referral to a cheap editor.

“Cheep, Cheep,” she chirped. As I

realized all dignity was lost.

“Who needs dignity,” I boldly proclaimed!

So I started to piss everywhere

no longer bound by social conventions

I dodged arrows of outraged fortune,

and realized that learning how to

use, “dodged arrows of outraged fortune” in a sentence is an astute accomplishment.

So I set my sights on a new

day

-time soap opera about

Love, loss, the rich and powerful.

Trapped on the 13th floor of a burning building.

Marilyn was a wealthy widow who

suffered delusions of grandeur while shooting

up

weather balloons that warned of an

epidemic of children hiding in garages.

In an alternate reality, some typewriters

melt under stress

of monkeys random pressing, Hamlet results.

To Thine Own Self Be True…

Or else I’ll pinch your little

Women signed first edition.

Running over his head wasn’t intentional,

it just happened, like when…

I ate four of Saturn’s moons

and spewed out the worst

-smelling diarrhea known to mankind

So i drank a glass of maalox

and returned quickly to the throne.

only to hear the telephone ringing

My friend said Jeruba hit 20k!

before the police found her stash

I then saw a shiny object

vibrating in the corner of the

kitchen, which I immediately attacked.

I was overwhelmed by a glow…

Alas! Alak! Oh Crap! When

I inadvertently stepped on Milo’s tail

pipe. Boy was it ever hot!

I ran in circles flailing wildly

, somehow, the botched surgery made my

dog get GLAUCOMA

So I grabbed her by the

scruff of her neck and pulled

3 times

“There’s no Place Like Home” I

said, first in Farsi and then

got on my magic carpet to

Morocco

where I behaved very strangely while

tiny chartreuse fairies blew smoke into

a hula dancing bear’s

big butt. Holistic approach indicates that

I was destined to find the

definitive source of navel lint, although

The quest would lead me to

a collision of harmonious winged prosthetics,

My one legged father would later

remember a universe with tentacled ladies.

It was unsettling, but made for good stories around the

glory hole

especially in the summer, when the

ocean provided easy access.

As I contemplated my adventure, I

became enamored of the bucolic musings

of ShazDaz ;-), always freakin’ me out

especially when I am freaked out

promised to never say glory-hole again!

But that is another story…

for some donkeys we know. Meanwhile,

as mayhem ensued in Antarctica,

I decided to brew some joe.

Joe wasn’t feeling cooperative though, consequently

I took to the streets, looking

for some very angry mice

who just happened to be blind.

and traveled in packs of three.

Tipped off by a local newspaper,

the press flooded the three blind, angry mice with questions.

Rusty sang like a canary, while Morty

mooed like a cow, and while Quincy simultaneously

demanded his cheese. I brought out

my lightsaber replica and

promptly sliced off my own doggone

big toe. I lamented the loss

and began to clean the blood off of

a used diaper, that was a gift

from my baby, sir poops-a-lot.

Thrown off balance by my injury,

derived by opening a can of soup. Tomato soup.

Andy Warhol has it now but

When I got it, it was beautiful.

However, it is now part of

History. Meanwhile, back at the

space station, General Judi

was having her nostril hair plucked.

But sadly, it was quite stuck.

causing her to screech like a

baboon stuck in a toilet.

A toilet, in the middle of a forest.

“But if a toilet flushes in the middle of a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” Judi wondered, as she

failed to follow instructions yet again

she then apologized profusely.

Then reached for the gun and

took a sip of the ‘stock’

as she struggled out of

the large cocoon and

sprang out as a beautiful

zygote

And she wondered, “what is a zygote?”

Then it started, “JUDI! JUDI! JUDI!”

Merciful and mighty. All the world shall

grovel in its own filthy debasement.

And then, all of a sudden,

from the ashes of sophomoric drivel

rose Sarah Palin

with all of her

offspring who were whale hunting with

Russians masquerading as alaskans who hoped

to capture the great elusive mysterious

alleged giant kangaroo.

All, while baking a cake.

A moose once bit my sister

Nostradamus used the word Hister

but my shoes gave me a blister

, certainly, clogs are for the hipster.

Are you dissin’ my shoes mister?

Were they made by Price Pfister?

Or worn first by Joseph Lister?

While he played twister?

Anyway… What about the sister?

Did she play twister?

I hear the Moose bite gave her a blister.

It was on her keister.

Speedy Gonzalez dated her seester

Who sang like Leighton Meester.

but sounded like foghorn leghorn.

As you know, Foghorn Leghorn was a man from Nantucket.

Who lived in a bucket.

Or was it licking the bucket?

speculated something about his ear

which was quite peculiar looking.

Then one day

the alleged Giant Kangaroo began to

sell spatulas door to door in

her suit that made pouch access

quite difficult.

Regardless, she became a great success

at selling spatulas, mice, and

consequently, became a driving force in

men wearing boxer shorts.

After a long day of selling spatulas,

Our hero, was pleased to discover

that in his closet was a portal to

a 7–11

Delighted, he went and bought himself a

Slurpee but it was a special

brew that oddly glowed in the

light. It tasted of

slurry, like that of what’s found

in a rendering pot of tallow

I then vomited in the parking

garage. It matched with pigeon corpses

strewn across the filthy ground.

I then stomped back into the

quiet library where many people were

In a circle holding hands, quietly

eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I jumped into their circle and yelled

“Hoooray for Peanut-butter & Jelly Sandwiches!!!”

They just stared at me like

I was completely naked

Looking down, I realized that

I wasn’t completely naked! I quickly

licked off the PBJ and turned

to the left

and leaped through the reality portal

into the magical land of

South Dakota

where many peanut shops were, and

where triffids run unbound and joyous!

I was still naked, so I quickly

remembered that I wasn’t naked and

Then I was really confused. Could

I actually be naked?

I gave up, opting for clarity

I sought the advice of

whom other then…

The hookah-smoking caterpillar from chapter three!

But of course, who else could

Discern the state of my wardrobe?

Leaving stains where the armpits reside?

I concerned him with my situation

involving the infamous

wax toilet ring and firecracker boys.

His face lit up and he

quickly put out the fire.

He had obtained 2nd degree burns

and back in 5071 this would

not make any sense at all.