What method did you use to break up with someone? Why?
The “Dear John” letter was an old classic. I suppose it’s been superseded by the “Dear John” email. You can break up over the phone. You could do it in person. Maybe there’s other ways I don’t know about. Facebook announcement? MySpace? Fluther?
So which method did you use, and why did you choose to use that method? What was the situation? How did it go?
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It’s not you, it’s me. . . . in person.
I told them that they had to pay me a dollar every time they wanted to talk to me. They finally got the hint and left =).
I always do break ups in person, because I try not to be a complete coward asshole.
direct and blunt ”we just don’t get along…
“I’m sleeping with your mother…just kidding…but seriously get out..”
too heavy?
My son’s gf sent him a text message to break up.
The one break-up I instigated was done in person. I was pretty straightforward as to what was happening and why. I moved out ASAP. I chose that method because I wanted to face it like an adult. The situation was that I realized he and I were not temperamentally suited. He complained a lot about how his life was unfolding, but did nothing to change his situation.
There had been other problems, but the last straw was when I got a highly coveted internship for a TV show, and he didn’t understand why or how I’d gotten it when he hadn’t. He took out his frustrations by yelling at me for things he had never been upset about before, calling me names and making fun of me in front of his friends. Even they noted that he was envious. I asked him to talk about it so it could be worked out, but he’d just deny there was a problem and hit the local pub. He just seem to expect the world to hand him its goodies on a platter, yet not work for them. I got tired of that attitude, and I saw he wasn’t about to change it.
He was very upset when I ended it and cried for several hours. We never saw each other again after I moved out.
The others who broke up with me did so in person, as well.
I always broke up in person. Most of the time they weren’t long-term relationships, and a simple “I don’t want to see you anymore” was sufficient.
Once I made the mistake of telling a guy (in high school) that he was too nice. What I really meant was “you have no spine” but couldn’t bring myself to say that. Later he told me that his parents suspected I was gay because I had so many girl friends. I guess if I had a lot of guy friends they would have called me a slut.
The only long-term boyfriend I dumped was also dumped in person. That was tricky because I was 6 hours away at school when I decided to end the relationship. We had been together for almost two years, and I felt he deserved better than a phone call. He knew something was up, and drove down to see me one weekend as a surprise. When he called from a hotel that Saturday morning, I was sleeping in a friend’s room down the hall. A guy friend. My roommate came running to pound on the door, yelling that my boyfriend was on his way over. The guy was just a friend, and I really only slept there. Still, not the kind of thing a boyfriend would be happy about. Anyway, when my boyfriend got to our dorm building, I waited until my roommates left for breakfast and just told him I wanted to break up. I was honest, but not mean or dramatic. He was a very nice guy, but just not right for me. He was very upset and left right away. I cried a little just out of relief, and spent the next few weeks trying to get him to understand that I would not change my mind.
Breaking up any other way is cowardly, IMO, unless the person you’re breaking up with has shown signs that they may become physically aggressive and you have reason to fear a confrontation.
I broke up in person, and I’ve been broken up with in person. It’s hard, to say exactly what you mean when the other person is right there and you’re nervous. But both times the general gist of what was meant was said and then when the dumpees were too upset to go any further, the rest was worked out later over the phone (no I will not change my mind etc). When I was dumped, even though it was in person, by the time I had walked home from the incident already he had changed his relationship status on facebook, and that hurt a little. I hadn’t even thought of that yet and probably wouldn’t for a while if he hadn’t done it first.
Move all of my stuff out while he’s not home
When I left my ex, I told him I was leaving. I took a week off work and cleaned the entire house while slowly moving my stuff out day by day. We went out on my last night for something to eat, when we got back home I gave him a hug and said bye. The next day I left.
I love your method @Dibley ; smooth and direct, if you stuffs not there then your out…
Face to face. I told him I knew he loved me but I suspected he was growing fed up with my habits and could never convince himself to accept me and that someone else was more than happy to have me as I was. What an idiot I was then. I loved him enough to feel he deserved ftf but I wanted to hurt him enough that I said what all I did.
LOL we’ve all been there. I just prefer the in your face kind.
@SeventhSense It was in his face, I told him I were leaving everyday for a month.
And @Dibley , did he seem to be getting it or did it just go over his head because he didn’t want to hear that you were leaving him…
The best M-E-T-H-O-D O-F B-R-E-A-K-I-N-G U-P?
1) Arrange a dinner date with your soon-to-be-ex SO at Bouley or The Wolseley.
2) Show up with Daryl Hall. Don’t worry, Daryl’s paying.
3) Daryl publicly serenades you with You Make My Dreams, after which everyone in the restaurant wildly applauds as he kisses you.
4) SO leaves, face burning.
5) Sorted!
@phil196662 Well our relationship was over for about 14 months. He moved out of the bed for the last 12 months. We stayed together as friends. I told him about 2 months before I left that I would eventually leave, he didn’t want me to but he accepted it.
That was a bummer @Dibley – Sleeping with a wonderful person like you for only two months? Where was his head. And are you still friends?
@Dibley
Ya been there done that. Once you stop sleeping together it’s done. Then again maybe they had it right in the ‘50’s. Separate beds but get together for some nookie.
@SeventhSense ; the wife and I kind of do that, separate beds in several rooms and we sleep in them together- variety…
@phil196662 We were together for 6 years. We moved in together in 2006, I left in 2008
@SeventhSense ; Remember if you do my idea to decorate each room with a theme.
@Dibley ; Wow! recent… And now your pampered, foot rubbed and bubble-bath cleansed . Now we know why your hair looks soo nice_ on your avatar!
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