Do you find that people make you stingy?

Well if that happened to me in the exact same way as you described of course I would be stingy and pissed about it. But that doesn’t stop me from giving people a second chance…and maybe a warning. If it persists…then the willpower to take action must be mustered.

Exactly.

I am in my mind, but I’m too conditioned to do whatever I can to help people out no matter how much it fucks me over in the end.

I only have that issue with certain employees who despite great salaries and benefits, will nickle and dime you to death and always have their hand out and even have the nerve to ask if I have arranged for the bonuses yet! WTF?!!

IM not stingy. I guess im a sucker. Im always helping somone out, but ya it would be nice if somone would return the favor at sompoint.

I don’t let people take advantage of me.If I loan something out,I expect to get it back in good shape and a timely fashion.If these things don’t happen,I’ll beat the hell out of them with it ;)

I give people rides to and from work a lot. I offer the rides usually. I don’t expect any gas money if I offer the ride. I don’t really expect any if they ask for a ride either, just trying to be a good person. But if someone asks for a ride and doesn’t tell me until we are in the car and driving that they live in the next town over, then I expect a couple bucks for gas. I didn’t get any gas money when that happened.

I do not loan anything to anyone.

I know people in Boston who’ll break your leg for $50. For $25, they’ll break both legs. As long as I’m not stingy with them then things work out fine.

Yes they do and I try to stay away from people like this

@lynneblundell I tend to “steal away”.

(Advisory: the word ”you” is used figuratively. Don’t take it personal.)

Generally speaking, people don’t appreciate anything they haven’t worked for themselves. So when it comes to loaning out my possessions, I avoid doing so unless I’m prepared not to get it back.

As for rendering assistance, it’s never a good idea to do so if you expect something in return. We erroneously believe that we’re doing a great service for someone else, but in actuality we help others because it makes us feel good.

Then we develop an attitude that the person we helped “owes” us something. No one owes you anything, so if you expect a reciprical response it’s probably a good idea to agree upon the terms of what you expect to receive prior to rendering the service.

Finally, if you believe or suspect that helping someone will inconvenience you, don’t offer assistance.

(So much easier when you keep things simple.)

@SABOTEUR I agree that we do things for others because it makes us feel good (about ourselves, about making the world a better place, whatever… it makes us feel good, period). But… and maybe this is a sort of social placebo that I believe in, because I admit that it’s somewhat mystical, unexplained by natural laws or science… there does seem to be some kind of karma or ‘return’ on the good deeds that I’ve paid forward. Or maybe there really is a god, even though I can’t know that and so don’t want to believe.

No, I seldom believe that the stranger I helped out of a jam on the road one day owes me anything (and I knew going in that it would be “an inconvenience” to help her out), and I know that I won’t see her again, but I seem to always “collect” from the universe when I get stuck on the side of the road, too. Maybe I could collect even without having the positive balance in my karmic bank… but then I wouldn’t feel as good about myself or the universe.

So I pay it forward even when it’s inconvenient sometimes.

@Blackberry Gadzooks! We agree!?! LOL LOL LOL

@Syger I would have to say I am quite that way maybe to my own detriment my mother always taught me to find 5 ways to help before seeking one way to get out of it. Some people make it hard, you say you are going to the post office and then the pharmacy and you need to get back because the cable guy is coming. They say “Oh, can I ride with you? My drycleaners is near the post office”, you want so say ‘no’ but feel if it were you, you’d hope someone would give you a ride. Then it is “Since by bank is right over there, can we swing by? I need to make a deposit”. So, off to the bank, then when you finally get to the pharmacy—late they want to run over and get a burger, they will be “right back”. Another 20 minutes down the tubes you head back home then it is can you swing past so-in-so street so they can get the baking ban from his sister-in law. You spend an extra 40min. or more and drove 2 miles out of the way and they think it is nothing. I try to do what Jesus would have done but he can turn water in to wine, and if I could do that I could at least turn water into petro. It maybe just an extra 2 miles but in a down economy those miles can add up at around $3 bucks a gallon, and I won’t even get off about the tools which are harder to replace when broken or loss.

@Cruiser Ummmm………and people wonder why outsourcing is spreading like wild fire? You give people good wages and benefits but they still want more. Who do they think is eventually going to pay for their benefits? John Q is, then he is gonna want more, but he still don’t want to pay more than big box department store prices so in order to do that, bingo, big box goes over seas to get supplied and to get its goods. Now John Q, a Joe X don’t have a job and blame it all on management.

@lynneblundell They say you can run but you can’t hide, they will find you can cover yourself with brush and hide under a rock, they will find you (ominous music plays)

I’m with you 100% @CyanoticWasp, but your comment describes someone who practices conscious awareness. All too often people expect karma to be rendered by the person they’ve given assistance to.

And they better express gratitude in the process.

No, whenever I ‘loan’ anything to anybody, I always assume it is a gift until or unless I get it back.

Avoids a lot of ill will, don’t it, @YARNLADY?

No.