what's a good, funny quote?

its better to keep your mouth shut and let people think your stupid, then to open it and prove them right.

In reference to what? Cars?

pinion

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know he had help getting there.

(my apologies if this may offend anyone, but. . )

“are you jewish? ‘cause you israeli hot”

“Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.” Henry David Thoreau

“when i was born, i was so surprised that i didn’t speak for a year and a half”

“Make someone happy today, mind your own business”

I was driving across Texas when this UFO landed. An alien got out. He was really small. I said, “You’re really small.” He said, “I’m not small. I’m really, really far away.”
-Stephen Wright

Marriage is a great institution,but who wants to live in an institution.

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”