(NSFW) New ways of pleasing a man?
Asked by
Violet (
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)
February 11th, 2010
I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good at giving oral sex/head/blow jobs. But since I do it for my boyfriend so often, I feel like my usual ways are getting repetitive. I’m looking for some new techniques of giving a man oral sex; new ways to use the lips, tongue, etc.
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70 Answers
Bite him..
Swallow his nuts.
Is your boyfriend complaining? If so, he’s crazy. :)~
Have you read The Joy of Gay Sex? It’s got plenty of good ideas. If you live in a large metropolitan area, a bit of time spent in a gay bookstore will provide you with other good reading, too. There are books out there specifically for oral sex.
It’s a bit hard to give you exact ideas since I don’t know what you do. Let me just say that the tongue is a muscle that is capable of some pretty damn interesting things.
how about ten minutes of peace and quiet?
Seriously @Violet get a boyfrirnd or a copy of Joy of Sex. What’s with [NSFW} at midnight pst?
@hawaii_jake oh he’s not complaining at all! I just like trying new things
@eponymoushipster is that really better than a blow job?
@galileogirl I have a boyfriend.. did you read my details? “But since I do it for my boyfriend so often, I feel like my usual ways are getting repetitive”
@davidbetterman I’ve been working on the balls.. but I would like to know how to do it better. And he doesn’t really like biting
@galileogirl : This is a serious question. Sex in relationships is serious business.
@Violet : Have you tried using your hand while you have your mouth around the top? Work your hand around the shaft up and down and around all at the same time. It’s kind of like a corkscrew motion. All the time your mouth is working the top. You have to start by getting the whole thing wet with plenty of saliva or use a flavored lube.
@hawaii_jake oh yes, I ues my hand pretty often, but I don’t know if I use a corwscrew motion.
@Violet yes. do it often. sounds like you’re in the “mission accomplished” category. :)
also: no teeth. well, not a lot of teeth… <wink>
@TooBlue wow, you’ve just got no idea. welcome to fluther!
@eponymoushipster that reminds me of when I was in middle school, and I had braces. On the very back teeth are metal rings that go all the way around the teeth, and it’s very sharp on the inner part of the tooth… I think you know what happened…
@Violet When working the balls with your mouth, be very very gentle.
Tie his balls at the very base with soft small rope. Tie them tight so that they stand right up and then lick his asshole, lots of saliva. Finger his butt. Use anal beads. Instead of going crazy on his cock, barely touch it. Use a very very light touch all over it. Lightly caressing it until he can’t stand it. Tell him if he’s a good boy on your pussy, you’ll untie his balls.
@plethora
If you are a femme, what are you doing tonight?
@plethora I wanted to play with his ass, and I finally convinced him, but when I bought a (small) toy, he got scared. He won’t let me use my finger either. He will let me lick it though. I have never thought of tyeing his balls! What a great idea!!!
@Violet Try the small anal beads. And when you have his balls tied use very light touch all over them to tease him.
@davidbetterman mmmmm….not a femme. Maybe I better work on that avatar. Thanks..:)
@Violet One other thing, Get the vibrating egg and when you are licking his asshole and have it nice and wet, pop that egg in his butt before he knows what;s happening and let it vibrate in there. Pull it out if he screams, but if he doesnt, well.
I give oral sex more often than anything else, and he says I’m very good at it. I like to bring him to the very edge and then take him really deep and and go as slow as possible. I always ask him if he would like me to do anything different, but he always says no, it’s perfect as it is. I ask him a lot because I want to make sure that everytime is great for him.
Why can’t I find a girlfriend like these girls???
jeez….
@tb1570 Well, I am 31, and been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years, I never gave oral sex before him. I never wanted to with anyone else. I think when you find someone that absolutely adores you, then you’ll be forever in her mouth!
@hawaii_jake I thought that was a natural thing to do anyway!
@Dibley “I always ask him if he would like me to do anything different, but he always says no, it’s perfect as it is” Same here! I want to try new things more for my sake, rather than his I want to do something new, and just wow him.
@tb1570 what kind of girls do you date?
@plethora I may have to sneak a toy in.. I know he’d love it if he had prostate orgasm, if he got over the taboo
@Violet What postion do you do it in?
What position do I give oral in? Some times we’re both laying on the bed, sometimes he’s standing and I’m on my knees, and sometimes he’s sitting and I’m on my knees. Is there a special position I don’t know about? Or a position that goes along with a technique?
@Violet My boyfriend likes it best if he is lying on his side and I’m laid on my side with my legs rubbing up and down him. We have also done it where I am on my back and he has sat on me.
It really dosent take much to please a man, as long as your paying attention to his privates. If your down there, hes happy!
try the old finger in the butt blow job :)>
@Violet have you guys ever tried any chastity play? There are a lot of products on the market that you (with his agreement, of course) can securely put on his penis to prevent him having an erection, and therefore (generally speaking) a satisfying orgasm, or any orgasm at all. But it doesn’t stop him wanting to! And then, since you have the key… his efforts to please you so that you decide “it’s time to use the key” will actually add to his (less frequent, and totally under your control) enjoyment. At that point, anything that you do will be wonderful to him.
I’m not ready to endorse it from the “lifestyle” point of view, but it can be quite a thrill even on an occasional basis.
And I had to give this a GQ, because I’m so totally in favor of research in this area. Carry on.
OK @Violet the answer is NO. After 200,000 there is no new way to please a male homo sapiens.
@plethora Do you know all these tricks from experience, or from the movies?
Surprise him on Valentine’s Day with a thorough ass kicking :)
@Violet @Dibley I don’t know if all guys are this way, but I’m guessing you two have guys who are. We don’t like to be asked “what would you like for me to do?” We like to think that whatever you are doing, you are doing it because you like to do it and enjoy it and that you are doing in the way that pleases you. So I would suggest that you just do it the way you like. Vary your technique and see if that gets a rise out of him. Violet, if he is squeamish about something, tell him in advance, in that provocative whisper what you are going to do and then do it because it pleases you. If it’s a finger up the butt, use lube. It’s dry back there on a guy too. Eventually pop that vibrating egg in him.
Men always tell their woman that they give great head even when they don’t. Otherwise they might not get any at all. ;)
Learning varied techniques is good – but bear in mind that just because he likes the way you give him a BJ today doesn’t mean he wants it that way tomorrow.
A lot of bad advice is given out, too. Personally ball play doesn’t do a damned thing for me, and neither does anything to do with my anus… It’s all about finding out what they like!
@Violet ; nothing mentioned about while you have him in your mouth to grab his balls and tug them- gets me fired up! but then you could use bondage on them too, a leather strap and tie it and give it a tug or some weights so when he moves they swing…
but then there is your name-sake toy! a “violet wand”... Up and down his stomach and his inner thighs and even when you dont have him all the way in give the base a zap too- O M G- _make me crazy just thinking about it, I know wat the wife and I are doing today…
And @Dibley ; Try this… Lay on your back with your head over the side and have him feed it to you- but remember you gag reflex!
I didn’t think that I would like the beads either, until Meg convinced me to try it. The small ones; anything larger, forget it. Some hetero guys have a very strong aversion to being penetrated in any way. We never used them in conjunction with oral though (never though of it). Gently cradling the testicles in the hand does good by me (no squeezing please).
@phil196662 I think it would have the opposite effect on me.
Everyone is different, then use it on your S/O!
Ummmmm sorry to hear that didn’t intend to offend.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land – I peeked and I thought getting the bulls eye was great! Congrats on all the stuff with history, powder rifles and motorcycles! WOW… and I’ll take a nice cabin anytime!
Two ways:
1.) Put a nasal cannula on him and sit on his face. Just sit and watch TV, or read a book, or talk on the phone with your best friend, etc. (A nasal cannula is one of those air-tubes that hospitals put on people so they can breathe pure oxygen, but you would just leave the end hanging loose.)
2.) Lay on your back either flat on the bed or with your head hanging over the edge of the bed, and let him f—k your mouth as deep and hard as he wants. Admittedly, this isn’t very pleasant for you but if you can do this, this is the ultimate for a guy.
@galileogirl um, you are aware there are new toys (and machines, swings, etc etc) as of 1972.. right?
@Dibley so in a 69-type position?
@germanmannn he doesn’t want to do that
@CyanoticWasp that sounds like a fun and creative idea! I have looked at those devices online for other people, and they can get pretty expensive. Is there a site you like to buy them from?
@lucillelucillelucille ass kicking??
@plethora you are SO right. I don’t know that he doesn’t like it when I ask him what he wants, but he usually doesn’t ever have an answer for me (some times he’ll say slow down, or suck my balls, etc)
@SomNinja I know I give great head. I don’t have to be told. What do you mean a lot of bad advice is given out? Are you insulting people who have given answers here? My man loves when I suck his balls.
@phil196662 ooooo, I like your ideas! We have a ton of different vibrators, I might have to try one of those : )
@HungryGuy hhmmmm.. I like #1, but I don’t think he’s ready for something like that. As for #2, we do do the mouth fucking, but not in the position you described. I like it!!
I am a huge advocate of prostate massage. You might want to find some info on it for him to read because if he can be convinced it will blow his mind. My man can’t even feel it and it blows his mind and he blows his… – well never mind that – every time.
@Violet – devil… don’t forget the violet wand! and if you use the vibrator on him you should hold the remote!
@phil196662 devil? oh we don’t have one with a remote (those can get expensive)
@plethora He does like me asking actually. He doesn’t want me to change anything but always appreciates me asking. It isn’t all about me, it is all about him, he is my priorty and I want to make him happy. He knows I will do anything he wants and therefore I ask him occasionally if everything we do is still great or if there is anything he wants me to do different or anything he wants us to try.
@Violet since I’m not going to be doing this as a “lifestyle” thing, I definitely don’t need the “high security” devices. (Frankly, those things scare the hell out of me, anyway, because… what if…? Just imagine the dark possibilities. There’s a whole genre of erotic fiction based on those possibilities.) So we’ll probably pick up a CB6000, which is pretty reasonably priced, comfortable to wear for a week at a time or longer—which I can verify—and breakable if things somehow go horribly wrong (in the relationship).
@Violet ; vibrators can be purchased with a 2 food tail with the controls on the end, then you can use it solo…
You can’t beat ten’s pads on a guys nuts, keeps me hard and turned on at the right moment can really _ make me crazy_…
@CyanoticWasp I agree with you on being wary of “high security devices”. Knots and keyed locks are something you don’t want to be fumbling with when your partner is panicing or PTSD-triggering. We only used restraints that fastened with industrial-strength velcro; no need to worry about jammed knots (and knives or scissors) or lost keys.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land – but if there’s no risk involved and you can get out easily, then there’s no thrill. The submissive doesn’t have that feeling that she’s truly the slave of her master…his property to use her however he chooses to.
@HungryGuy My lady had unpredictable PTSD triggers. I needed to be able to get her out and be soothing her fast. We weren’t totally into BDSM, just using the restraints as a “spice”.
@HungryGuy the risk is incurring Mistress’ wrath and aspects of the relationship that you want to preserve. If you’re into playing that game. You can play baseball without an umpire, for example, but it’s more difficult to call yourself “out” on a close play. So even a low security device can help you—just like an umpire helps in baseball—to stay within the rules of the game you’re playing.
The wife and I have to use three hole leather restraints and strong rope because she loves to struggle and have me not stop but back off a little several times untill she -really_ begs to cum… Then when she does she literally faints from the intensity only to awaken as I am doing other things just to take her _up_again…
She knows her safe word but never has used it only to show I can tell her limits!
@phil196662 the CB6000 costs $70, for just the cage part. A bit out of my price range. I don’t think my bf is ready for anything that extreme. We just bought bondage tape (which we love), and we use a blind fold, but that’s about it.
@HungryGuy I’m not a fan og the jaw pieces, but my bf might, I’ll have to ask. I think my next purchase wiee be this or this
@Violet – The jaw spreaders are my favorites! Can you guess why? :-p
And yes, cuffs are a basic necessity. That hogtie kit could be fun, but I’d also recommend this as an initial purchase if you lack a bed with bedposts.
@Violet I recommend you buy a pair of bandage scissors to go with the bondage tape. That way there is never a sharp object near the skin when cutting the tape. As @HungryGuy says, A lot of expensive gear can be easily substituted with items from a hardware store, pharmacy or medical supply store. Even the specialized equipment can often be functionally duplicated using basic workshop tools (bandsaw, drill press, tubing bender, basic leatherworking tools). Actually, leatherworking is a popular hobby of people in the BDSM scene. A lot of the metal fittings intended for saddle-making and riding tack adapt really well in bondage applications.
@Violet ; well you have a beginning with tape but some good rope is better…
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