Give me your sure fire ways to get rid of those nuisance callers?

If you have a toddler at home you can have them answer the phone. We did this when our daughter was three. She had a great time talking to the bill collector.

My BIL has a great line. He says, “I never respond to phone solicitations.”

With Jehovah’s Witnesses, I explain that I’ve been witnessed to already.

With phone time-wasters, I cut them off without waiting for them to stop talking,
by saying, “Don’t call me again, ever” and then hanging up. Legally, they can’t, once you’ve said this. If I were really organized, I’d write down the name of their organization in
a little notebook, and get them in trouble if they called again. But I’m too lazy.
In any case, they’re not being courteous, and I don’t have to be, either. It took me about 25 years to figure that out.

Hanging up isn’t an option?

@Captain_Fantasy Not at the door no & besides where’s the fun in that?

Someone at the door isn’t really a “caller”. If a solicitor shows up at my door unwanted, I tell them politely but firmly to beat it. Step 2 is calling the police.

This works for this guy:

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Tom_Mabe_funny_clips.aspx

I have caller ID. I don’t answer the phone.

I take it unplugging the phone isn’t on your list?

Jehova’s are easy, just invite them round for a cuppa, I garuntee they’l drop the phone!
As for telesales, what my dad does, tell them to just hang on a tick whilst you go get a pen, put the receiver on the table, and just leave-m hangin.

Also, in England theres a place you can register your number with, registering with them means you don’t want to receive any telesales calls, all telesales companies are supposed to look at their register before they ring a number, they never do, if they get caught, they get fined about 3 grand. It may be worth a look into to see if theres such a thing in your area.

I answer the door in the nude. Doesn’t have the same effect over the phone though.

I registered myself on the do-not-call list and it has worked pretty well so far. I had to bitch out the Auto One people for calling constantly, but they’ve since had many BBB complaints and, I believe, have dissolved. It took them a while before they stopped, though. I spent a good three hours one day calling them with different amusing messages. I still get calls from charities all the time, which I mostly ignore.

Occasionally a call will still slip through, and I do what @jonsblond suggested and let my 2 year old talk to them. Or I’ll just hold the phone up to the radio or something.

Religion pushers get a little more sympathy from me. I simply tell them I’m not interested.

Edit: If you’re sick of getting credit card apps and junk mail, there are numbers you can call to stop those mailings as well. Capital One has a number at the bottom of their mail to call to get taken off their mailing list. This has also worked for me a great deal. Not perfect, but significant.

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities Nice

If it’s a bill collector I usually go, well listen dude, I have a hat fulla names, and I pick one each month. Wasn’t you this time, tough fucking luck.

Granted that’s why I don’t have cable anymore but…

I have found the do not call list does not work, isn’t worth two shits. However we usually don’t answer em, with the missionaries, I’m not as impatient and I usually have a good yarn with them. When I live in remote places they were often the only people from home.

Immediately ask for their mailing address and then quickly explain you charge $75 for any conversing up to 5 minutes. Works for me.

http://lifehacker.com/182989/stop-telemarketers-with-disconnected-line-tones