Social Question

andy_williams's avatar

[NSFW] How to convince my girlfriend for oral sex?)?

Asked by andy_williams (16points) February 18th, 2010

Me, and my girl friend share a healthy relationship for a quite long time.
we even share a healthy physical relationship too. Offlate I’ve notice that
she is not at all interested to start a thing first.Everything seems
to be depending on me.She enjoy very much while I perform oral sex on her.
but in return she seems to be pretty negetive. I know she loves me a lot but
this thing actually killing me and left over a depression. Any suggestion how can I
make her understand about my needs!

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35 Answers

TheJoker's avatar

I think you need to talk to her about it. There is probably some very good reason for her lack of generosity in this department. Perhaps she finds your technique abit off-putting (if your trying to ram it down her throat, not to put too fine a point on it), or perhaps there’s a hygiene issue, do you wash beforehand? Until you find out why she doesn’t want to, you’ll not be able to address the problem.

whatthefluther's avatar

Sounds like it is something she does not enjoy performing, which in time may change, maybe not. And you state it is a need. The only way you are going to understand her feelings ,and she, your needs, is to communicate openly about it. Otherwise, you both are probably headed for some frustrating times. Good luck. See ya….Gary/wtf
PS: Welcome to fluther.

ucme's avatar

Guys talk “girl talk”, it happens everywhere.
Eyes watch girls walk with tender lovin’ care.
They’re making music to watch girls by.

See Andy’s lost none of his romantic charm then.

jrpowell's avatar

Flip the script.

What if you didn’t like going down on her. What could she say that would get you to go down on her without pissing you off?

Trillian's avatar

Well, from a female perspective, I can tell you that I require cleanliness and an impulse. I stand on advice given by the cake lady “You take care of Miss Puss, Miss Puss will take care of you.” I wonder about your own “oral” technique. Are you giving her a ‘lick and a promise’? Do you go in, sloppily swirl around for a few seconds and get back out? Do you feel that holding your breath for 20 seconds is doing her any favors? Maybe you’re a master at this, I don’t know. but I can tell you that when I was with my SO, oral sex was something I enjoyed receiving and giving. Over time, the less I got of that had a very negative impact on me and my attitude, mainly because I do enjoy giving it so much, but felt that fair is fair, thus disabling my ability and desire for being on the “giving” end, so to speak.
In the end, the guys are right, talk. But talk about how you’re doing too. She might be moaning in an effort to get you the hell out of there because you’re tickling her, or boring her, or irritating her. You may not be staying there long enough. It’s a clinically proven fact that women require 16 to 45 minutes of stimulation. If you get down there and do it right, she should be ready to grab you, throw you down and f**k you like a bitch.
Good luck.

BoBo1946's avatar

@johnpowell touche….everyone is different and respect should be an issue in any relationship. After all, one the most important thing, in my humble opinion, in a relationship, should be mutual respect.

ccrow's avatar

“Offlate I’ve notice that
she is not at all interested to start a thing first.Everything seems
to be depending on me.”

Are you giving her a chance to start things? When we were young, my husband would complain that I never initiated sex; the thing was, his sex drive was so much more than mine, he generally wanted it sooner than I did, so he’d initiate it. Or has it maybe come to focusing too much on this one issue? If she thinks every intimate time is going to lead to pressure from you to do something she doesn’t want, she’s going to be reluctant to do anything. Your last sentence, with exclamation point, makes me think maybe this is a factor…

jrpowell's avatar

@BoBo1946 :: I’m a huge fan of communication when I rock the kitchen table. I have been with both types. One group offered no feedback and the sex was horrible. The other group offered feedback and the sex pissed off the neighbors.

I enjoy constructive criticism.

Noshy's avatar

@Trillian touche, good point!!!!

BoBo1946's avatar

@Trillian :)))) personal hygiene cannot be stressed enough!

pearls's avatar

@BoBo1946 That would go both ways. Not just the women. @andy_williams Sit down and have a heart to heart talk where both of you can express your needs and wants.

BoBo1946's avatar

@pearls oh, did not refer to one gender, by all means!

SuperMouse's avatar

Talk to her. Nothing but lingering resentment will occur if you don’t communicate about this. Talk to her.

As an aside, here is another vote for being very considerate about the hygiene. You may want to trim up a bit or even shave as a sign respect for her.

pearls's avatar

@BoBo1946 Glad you cleared the air with me on that one…lol

Broken_Arrow's avatar

Dip your dick in chocolate

Trillian's avatar

@pearls Cleared the air? Cleared the air! Hahahaha!

ucme's avatar

@Broken_Arrow Then she can suck out the cream.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I would fire her.

hungryhungryhortence's avatar

How does the 69 position work for you two? Man on top or woman on top, I find the more excited I am then the more enthusiastic I am in giving more… rigorously.

candide's avatar

YOUR needs? forget it – you wouldn’t understand if that’s all you’re worried about, and if not being on the receiving end of oral sex puts you into depression it would seem there are other issues afoot

drClaw's avatar

Roofie Colada

mcbealer's avatar

Spend time as a couple exploring how you would like to pleasure each other, rather than focusing so much negativity on your needs not being fulfilled.

As you grow closer you may want to check out one of the many translations of the Kama Sutra. Have fun with it, and don’t limit yourself like that… you just may find out how much enjoyment can come from trial and error when it comes to lovemaking when there’s more trust and less expectations.

BoBo1946's avatar

@pearls girl, by now, you know that i would never step into that “cow pile!”

nayeight's avatar

You could offer to pay her for her services.

BoBo1946's avatar

@nayeight LOL…good one!

CMaz's avatar

I say you wait till she is sleeping…

Then slap it on her lips.

Just_Justine's avatar

It could be that she has an idea overall that sex is “bad” in the fact that she wont start anything. Or has strong religious beliefs, past bad experience, or thinks your penis is not clean. Only communication and a gentle approach will help. If I really like the guy, and he is clean, I would live with his “dick” in my mouth. Nothing better!

Violet's avatar

If you are giving her oral, and you’re not getting any, you are part of the problem. You are allowing her to get away with not giving you oral. Stop giving her oral. Tell her you’re not going to give, if you never receive. It’s a 2-way street.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

Are you sitting on the couch, watching sports, and then 2 hours later, expecting her to be all into you, after you’ve ignored her for the better part of the evening?

CMaz's avatar

Right on @Violet !

evandad's avatar

Find another girl

Violet's avatar

@ChazMaz thank you : ) I feel bad for guys who don’t get oral

johndavis985's avatar

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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Well, let’s dissect this last part, she doesn’t have to be responsive to all of your needs she is not comfortable with; there is no ring on her finger. You say she really loves you, but what about your love for her? If you really loved her, you would not care of she did not quit pro quo you snacking at the ‘Y’. Even if she gave you nothing but her company with no physicality involved you would be happy; if you really loved her for her.. Sure, you could use sex as a weapon and say ”I won’t give you no more oral if I don’t get none”, what if you play that game of “chicken” and she don’t blink, now you don’t even get to dip your wick in the honeypot anymore either. Quit whining, love her, *show her you love her more, even if she never, and she might come around at some point.

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