How can I meet female friends who won't be turned off by the fact that I'm a male-to-female transgendered person?

How would they know any reason to snub you when you first meet?

Online relationship website perhaps?

And by transgendered, if you don’t mind me asking, do you mean a literal hermaphrodite or you had some kind of operation done?

Most girls are bitches and are far too girly for my comfort.
Which is why I’ve always been friends with more guys.

But why do they snub you? and how?
Examples may help..

Hello, and welcome to fluther. I think you might want to re-write your profile, as it seems that you do not want to even try to make friends with men at all.

Here, before you even get to know us, we are first of all jellyfish. Don’t let the avatars fool you – they can change. Do you even know whether I am male or female?

The profile is the first thing people read about you – and by writing that – men will (probably) automatically not want to respond to anything you’ve written, let alone add you to their fluthers.

Why miss out on all of our minds? That’s all we’re offering anyway.

I agree with @Zen_Again

I mean, I don’t have a lot in common with my best friend! She’s conservative, I’m liberal. She’s Christian, I’m atheist. She’s tall, I’m short. She likes lager, I like stout.

and we get along swimmingly.

What’s your hobbies? Where do you like to go? Are you in school? To have a friend, you must be a friend…

If you don’t mind me asking, why does it matter, the gender?

TL Robinson – I know how to be a friend I just would like to find someone that is willing. The reason for the gender is that I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with men and I am afraid of them.

So, what do you like doing? Where do you go?

Is it fair to assume all men will be that way? You run the risk
of having a really good friend, if you limit yourself.

I’ve been blessed to have some really great friends; and they come in all shapes, sizes
and gender.

Don’t let a few asses define
the whole gender; hell if I did that, I would never get any! :)

You make friends the same way the rest of us make friends. You just keep sticking it out there and sometimes you find a great friend and sometimes you wish you’d kept it at home.

@LoriTG It sounds like you’re looking for friends who are open-minded. You’ll have a hard time meeting people like that if you come across as biased yourself. Some men are bad people, just as some women are bad people. What are your interests? Most of my friends are involved in art, music, gaming or the GLBT community. These types of people are very open-minded.

@ChaosCross: And by transgendered, if you don’t mind me asking, do you mean a literal hermaphrodite or you had some kind of operation done?

you asked what the vast majority of transsexuals would consider a very rude question. I know from experience that a lot of people put a great deal of importance on “the operation” and will think nothing of asking you whether you have had it. if you want to familiarize with the basics of how transsexuals transition, which may or may not include gender surgery (in most cases it doesn’t), then you can find that information plentifully available online.

the “literal hermaphrodite” phrase irritates me too.

apart from that, it doesn’t really matter. unless Lori planned on socializing in the nude, why would it matter?

@LoriTG: I would like to try to answer your question, except that we have so few specifics. where do you live? how well do you pass, in your estimation? what do you like to do? how long have you tried? what sort of events have you done? a million questions…

for starters though (and for closers, if you don’t answer the other questions, and I asked a bunch of them), it would help for you to think of yourself as TS before anything else or for you to think of you as TS. because on either side, that will get in the “just another person” part.

it would help to practice, practice and practice how you talk and move until you won’t have people immediately scoping you as a tranny.

do what fascinates you and do it for its own sake. if you find social functions awkward—which I do—, then do something where you end up working alongside and helping other people. then conversation will flow a lot more naturally, in my experience. instead of having to force yourself to come up with conversational topics, they will emerge naturally.

also, I advise you to not make so much an effort to have friendships with women in particular. that will make things more unnatural. at least initially, though, I found myself accidentally meeting the female partners of MTF transsexuals. I didn’t develop super-close friendships with their partners though I did with them. (one of them I met while in the check-out lane of a supermarket, the other through a group. I hadn’t transitioned at the time.)

you might want to use any local TG support groups—though I personally have not had much of anything to do with those… not my thing—where their partners can come along.

but really, since I know so little of your situation, I don’t know what to say. you probably want to ask this on specialized MTF and TG messageboards and forums.

@LoriTG: The reason for the gender is that I’ve had a lot of bad experiences with men and I am afraid of them.

then don’t get in situations where you will end up alone with them.

The most accepting place I have ever exeperienced is a gay bar where my best friend works. Gay people, straight people, transgendered people, cross dressers etc, all are welcome. With that place in mind I would recommend a gay bar although, obviously, there are no guarantees that they are all as great as the one I know!

Hope you hang around on Fluther. I have found it to be, for the most part, a very accepting place.

@Haleth: It sounds like you’re looking for friends who are open-minded. You’ll have a hard time meeting people like that if you come across as biased yourself.

when I first started to transition I noticed my lack of close friendships with women, so I think that forming such friendships with members of your new gender counts for a lot in the re-socialization process. so while your advice would apply in a more typical situation (and still does apply, to a degree), you can’t exactly apply everyday principles in this instance.

also @ChaosCross, to explain why it matters to get asked “the question”:

one, a lot of us feel sensitive ourselves about whether or not we have had genital surgery, if we want to get it.

two, not everyone plans on having it. trans men generally don’t have it because of the difficulty of creating a penis. therefore, it has a lower success rate and costs more money.

three, it comes off like a question intended to aid the mental calibration process of, “should I regard this person as male or female?” (though I don’t think people have that conscious intention.)