Is he really into me?

One serious girlfriend before you at 34? This guy might be playin’. Especially if he’s talking about other women like that when you’re around. This sounds real fishy.

Nope, he’s not.

It is natural for guys to appreciate a nice looking woman. However, not at the expense of making your girlfriend uncomfortable and uncertain.

I would say no. I’m sorry.

Let me put it this way- the only guy I was ever with that did that ended up being a waste of a year of my life. Cut out while you can and go find a guy who knows he has the best in you. Anyone who ignores how something makes you feel doesn’t care about you- they only care about themselves.

I would say he has only had ONE serious relationship

I am starting like site even more, instant answers wow I am impressed. I would like to add to this, that he is an insecured person because of his looks( he is going bald), and he says that is why he has not dated. So he is not a jerk, or something of that kind. He has been turn away by several women before….

Well how many non serious relationships has he had? Are you sure you’ll be considered in the “serious” category when the count comes in?

I would consider our relationship to be serious, because of the fact that we know each other families, share same principles, morals etcs…But that the only but in the relationship his constant comments about other women. I have come to a conclusion that perhaps I have put his confidence up, and feels confident enough to go up to other women.?

The tendency for guys who don’t get a lot of action is to look for as much action as they can get because they’re operating from a position of desperation. They’re not used to what it feels like when women are attracted to them so they “over-indulge”.

I like your take @Captain_Fantasy .

I don’t think so.

Worse than him not being into you, he is into undermining your self-confidence. His reasons for this could be as “simple” as thinking if you don’t think you’re “all that and a bag of chips” you won’t move on and leave him the, apparently, Herculean task of finding yet another girlfriend.

I mean if it took him this long to find two…gah! who wants to work that hard again????

What he isn’t seeing is that if you have any self-esteem coupled with a smidgen of backbone you aren’t going to put up with his shit for long.

Now there is nothing wrong with admiring other women or even with occasionally sharing those thoughts. When you’ve been together for a long time like my spouse and I it becomes a “Yeah, I know baby, I wish I could give you that for Christmas! sigh Maybe next year.”

But in the beginning stages of a relationship it is crucial to really look at how your partner treats you and how it makes you feel without spending hours and hours dissecting the “why” of their choices. Just knowing that it doesn’t work for you is enough to take a stand.

When you tell him how it makes you feel and (this is the important part) that you insist that he stop (or limit it to what you both find acceptable) what he does next tells you everything you need to know about the relationship.

Now all you need is the courage to act on that knowledge and ask for what you need and settle for nothing less.

Don’t let him sell you short and don’t sell yourself short either.

He just simply sounds insecure. He seems to need constant affirmation by outwardly telling you how hot this and that girl is. A more confident man wouldn’t he has no need to. Nor does he need to chat up girls randomly. Whether alone or with you. The fact that he does it with you around, points in my mind to him wishing to get a response from you in order to reassure himself that he is in high demand. However, if you feel you have a jealousy issue (have experienced this before in a relationship) then maybe you are focusing too much on it. In which case you need to build your own self esteem. I thought I would add that as I have so little to go on!

Run away from him- he’s a mean loser.

i don’t think a person should have to put up with their boyfriend (or girlfriend for that matter) bragging about how they flirted or chatted with someone, or making comments about other women’s looks. i would drop this guy like a hot potato. you have told him it makes you uncomfortable and he still does it, disregarding what you said. he must be insecure and needing to bolster his ego with reassurance that these women want him and he has to make sure you know it.

i went through this before and at the end i should have taken this as a sign. last year i was dating someone who constantly tells me about other girls. at first i thought he was comfortable telling me anything, but he ended up cheating on me. so it was a red flag i ignored.

a long time ago i went out with a guy who used to flirt with everybody – the waitress, etc. i remember once he was flirting with a waitress and admiring her biceps and he told me in front of her “look, honey, at how firm her arms are.” i would just laugh and play it off but it was humiliating and i dropped him, and i would not tolerate that kind of thing now. i’d rather be alone than be humiliated like that.

If he cares so little about your feelings that he constantly makes comments about other women, you can expect more of the same for the duration of the “relationship”. Drop him like the bag of dirt that he is.

Does he know that this behavior bothers you? A gentlemans attention should be soley on the lady he’s with. I did this to such an extent that my lady (who was bi) pointed them out to me. What he’s doing is not normal, polite or caring behavior.

Thank you all to these answers, which I will take into consideration. I will have a conversation with him and try to come to a logical solution, because aside of all of this we do share several things in common. I’‘ll keep you all updated of how things go.