Am i doing the right thing?

You want to be with him, he says no but you mess around anyway. Do I have that right?

Seems like he’s getting an amazing deal and that you’re getting set up for heartbreak if and when he’s ready for a girlfriend and it isn’t you.

when you decide it’s time to stop liking him, you’re going to have to put distance between the two of you. distance in terms of time spent together, and activities you do together.

but i can’t say that there is a right or wrong time to come to that decision. but at least you know what to do when you’re ready.

It sounds like this guy is having his cake and eating it. He gets to lead a single life and knows you’ll be there to have a bit of fun with when he wants it.
You should create a bit of distance between you two, as it sounds like you’re more emotionally attached and could get hurt.
You don’t want to be a guy’s bit of fun on the side, but him not wanting you as a girlfriend.
You could do better than that.

Don’t bother with him.There are nicer,more considerate boys out there who won’t use you like that.

You’re 15. Why rush into things? That’s when bad things happen. Really bad.

sorry ladies but you can’t be certain that he has any malicious or even ill-conceived intent. @babygirlbubbles is right that he may or may not be coming to a decision in her favor. there’s no way to tell from the information she’s shared so far.

at best, all we know is that he is unable to decide to settle down with her at this moment. however, being unable to commit to someone isn’t proof that they are a bad bet. the main question persists.

This guy, I am sorry to tell you, is in it for the messing around. If you would have sex with him, he would be gone.

He is telling you just enough to keep you tied to him, but he does not want you to be his girlfriend.

He does not want to have a girlfriend, but he wants to mess around.

What, exactly, are you getting out of this? Cut off the messing around. Cut off hanging around with him at all.

If he cares about you, he will then ask you out. But I am betting he won’t. He is using you for sexual activity.

@babygirlbubbles Great handle by the way. The thing about being a teenager is that the thing you feel so strongly about today will be forgotten in six months.
Don’t waste another minute of your time on this guy.

It sounds like he is getting the benefits of having a girlfriend without actually having a girlfriend. He doesn’t have to take you out, spend money on you or acknowledge you as a girlfriend to his friends, but he gets to play with you. Is this really what kind of a relationship you want? I think you need to cut it off with him and see what kinds of guys are out there, the ones that really want to date you in the real sense of the word.

Respect yourself.

Many people have already pointed out the fact that he is using you.

As much as you may be determined that it won’t happen, most prolonged cases of “messing around” eventually end up with getting carried away by the emotion and crossing a line you weren’t planning to cross. Is he worth losing your self respect, possibly virginity, and maybe your future for. Please use your logical mind rather than your emotions.

Go out with other people. This guy has done nothing to deserve the huge amount of single-minded devotion you are giving him. It will be healthy for you to date others. It will also let this guy know that he can no longer be taking you for granted. Don’t make it so easy for him.

What do I mean by possibly sacrificing your future for him as well?

Messing around many times leads to that one moment you spend a lifetime wishing you could take back. Regardless of what others have told you, it is entirely possible to get pregnant the first time. It happens to millions of teens with frightening regularity.

There goes your future down the drain. If you keep on messing around you increase your chances of that one moment when emotions overcome common sense. Is he worth it ? You will be the pregnant one, not him.

Use your brain. Respect yourself. Make better choices for yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. You deserve better than to be used and taken for granted.

My advice will be the same I would have given to my daughter at your age:

Even if you know beyond any doubt that you have found the exact one for you… date others. Don’t give him the power (over you) that telling him “I’m all yours” gives him. Be a little coy. Hold out. Learn about other guys, even though (we understand what you have said) you already know this guy is the one. You might be surprised by what you don’t know.

In any case, if, even after time and experience with others this guy really, really is the one, it won’t hurt for you to have some kind of basis for comparison with others. Someday… “You know honey, I love you to pieces, but I like to kiss this way, and you might like it too…”

Don’t over-commit; don’t give anyone complete power to make you happy or not. Don’t ever do that. (Do be ready to commit someday, but don’t give anyone all of your power.)

And don’t commit fully until you’ve finished a good course of formal education. Again, you’ll be surprised what you learn about yourself… from your studies. (You may laugh at this now, “High school? Gotta be kidding me?” but just ask anyone else who has continued their education.)

And when you do have sex… which I recommend that you also put off for now… definitely use protection: Insist that your partner wear a condom. If he won’t, then you know immediately that he’s no good for you (or anyone else—but let someone else deal with his selfishness).

My daughter has ten years on you, by the way, and she is doing fine now. (I don’t ask her about her sex life, but she seems happy, so I’m happy.)

I’m sure this has already been said but… Just be friends and date other people. Stop messing around. You will not get together stop because he is not that into you. If he was he would be dating you right now. Stop now because it is not a healthy relationship.. you are only 15. Sorry I didn’t sugar coat it but it’s the truth.

Alright, here’s the thing…

Being just friends = One thing. (One set of behaviors with a person)
Being more than friends = Another. (Another set of behaviors)

By your own definition, do you qualify as “just friends” or not? Clearly, you guys already are more than “just friends.” His not wanting to admit to it, doesn’t matter at all.

Tell him that you and him behave in a way that is definable as “more than friends” or “involved” and if he would like you to stop believing it, then the two of you are going to have to start behaving differently. If you don’t stop behaving differently, then your status is automatically determined as: “involved.”

You’re 15. Go find a 15 year-old to be with.

You need to cultivate more interests when you’re hanging out with this guy. “Messing around” with friends usually happens because you don’t have anything real to do. When you make plans to see him, make it plans to actually do something, or see other people.

Stop messing around with him and behave like normal friends. If he sticks around as a friend, he might be worth waiting for. (Well, don’t wait. Date others, but keep him on the list of possibilities.) If you suddenly find he isn’t interested in being friends on regular friend terms, forget him.

I agree totally with @spiritual… while some relationships do start with a little ‘harmless’ fooling about, this doesn’t sound like the start of something to me. Basically, he’s a free agent who gets to cop-off with you when he likes because he knows you have feelings for him & wont say no. FWB can work for some people, but not when one wants more than the other.

I think you should remain friends, but be open to spending time with others too. Stop messing around with him. He is very likely just messing around with you. At your age two years is a significant age difference. If in the future if more than friendship really does evolve, then cool.