[[NSFW]]! Should I feel violated? What should I do?

You cant stop him from thinking of you, but run away. Run far away.
Report him.
This is not cool in any way.

Also, you can’t be sure his therapist told him to write these things. It’s just as likely he’s using that as an excuse.

Therapists respect the safety and well being of people.

wtf factor 9.8, engage!

the therapist told him to sit down with the target of his fantasies and encourage them by mental masturbation in the form of letter writing?

tell your parents or something, this is messed up.

I am quite surprised the therapist shared that with you. It isn’t like them to talk about patients.
Tell the boy you don’t find this amusing at all. tell your parents, and inform the school.

Seriously? Take a self defense class. Take steps to never be vulnerable to this guy. Don’t go places where you’ll be alone, stay visible. And learn to protect yourself. Take enough classes that you are competent and know that you can defend yourself if necessary.
Maybe you should talk to someone about the stories. I don’t know that you have any actual rights as far as the writing of another person, but it’s a bit worrisome. Maybe someone who has some legal experience.
Good luck.

wtf? get your parents involved, that’s F’d up.

The therapist breached patient confidentiality?

If this is true you have been threatened with violence. Involve your parents and get a restraining order against this student.

A therapist wouldn’t and/or shouldn’t share that with you.
That violates confidentiality.
A therapist that does this will lose their license to practice.

I have my doubts that this therapist is really a therapist if they told you things a patient told them. That is an absolutely unconscionable act for a therapist.

A therapist who believes a patient is going to harm a victim is obligated to tell the authorities.

Tell your parents and school authorities asap. End of story

Thought processes are not illegal, but actions can be.

He has escalated from violent fantasy to communication and documentation.

On the bright side, he’s in therapy and working on it. On the not so bright side, this could be viewed as a progression with you on the receiving end of an unfriendly encounter. Not good.

You may not be aware of this, but pepper spray is nearly 98% effective at terminating bear attacks, while guns are less than 70% if memory serves. Oddly, bears are a lot like humans – and I’m pretty sure that’s how I stared one down that charged me once. (I had no other option – run = food)

I agree with the confidentiality concerns. If the therapist is speaking with you under consent signed by the patient it is quite legal. He also has an obligation to prevent serious criminal acts.

I’m glad I don’t work with rapists. Sex should never be violent.

I can see a reason why the therapist would have violated what is normally one of the most confidential oaths around. This is a fantasy that involves another—a named individual—and in a very intense and possibly dangerous way. I’m sure the therapist had to wrestle with his / her own conscience for a while: “Should I tell her or not?” and made the decision accordingly.

I’m hopeful that he also shared this information with others as well, including your family and possibly the police if he has the least suspicion that the young man will act on his fantasies. (Another reason to have him write them: You all have evidence of how realistic his fantasies are, and a possible indicator of how likely they are to occur.)

You can’t stop the boy from thinking what he’s thinking. You can thank the therapist for bringing you on board, and you must involve your parents and consider relocating yourself for your own safety.

Good luck; this is serious stuff.

This sounds like the plot from a teen SVU type show. Schools don’t have “therapists,” they have counselors. Guidance counselors, to help you with college and basic friend/parent problems. People with severe problems that require them to miss school because of it do not get “therapy” from a school counselor. Furthermore, if school is aware that you are in some sort of danger from this guy, they should be talking to your parents if you are under the age of 18.

As much as honestly is appreciated in a situation like that, that’s pretty damn creepy.

<warning joke in bad taste>

do you like scary movies?

Actually I go to therapy. One of the things my therapist first informed me is that our meetings are NOT guaranteed to be confidential. Everything would be confidential unless certain things come up. She is a mandated reporter for instance, and if someone tells her they are abusing their children she has a legal requirement to report the child abuse. She also warned me about the possibility that if something was going to harm myself or others, intervention may happen accordingly. I am not sure how she said it. I am surprised she told you but the boy already told you, so she was not revealing something behind the boys back, only reaffirming he was not lying. But when abuse or physical danger is involved I think there are some exceptions to the confidentiality. I am surprised though she would put it on a kid your age to deal with, instead of some other authority. I’m glad you know though. Maybe she encouraged him to tell you just because she couldn’t explicitely, and yet knew for your safety you needed to know this.

removed by me because @escapedone7 typed faster

Tell your parents.
Inform the school.
Be safe.

Inform the school for safety’s sake, but other than that, I would suggest playing it cool and dealing with it.

This is not okay.
Let adults know what’s going on.
Good luck dealing with this.

As @escapedone7 pointed out – the one thing a lot of people don’t understand about therapy is nearly everything is confidential, but there are a few exceptions – one being if the patient is a threat to him/herself or others. This boy is a potential threat to @Everest so the therapist was required to tell her she may be in danger.

@Everest – Talk to your parents about this and try to keep your distance, from this boy. Don’t talk about him to other students – you don’t want to ostracize him. That may make things worse. Good luck.

Did the therapist tell him to talk to YOU about it, or did he tell him in general terms to talk to his intended victims? Seems a huge difference there. Apologies if this has been addressed already, I skimmed the thread rather quickly.

You know you have a very uncomfortable situation on your hands. The good thing is you know about this and is not a surprise. The bad news is it is creepy as all get out. You have very few options and ignoring this is not one of them.

You need to empower yourself to gain a sense of control and the best way for that is to learn to defend yourself. In 30 minutes you could learn enough self defense technique to give yourself a chance to get out of bad or compromising situations if douchebag decides to act out his fantasies. At least start packing mace. Seriously!

Yes, feel violated. Totally. But if he hasn’t done anything, or said that he plans to, I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do about it, legally… So! Take the collective’s advice regarding pepper spray (unless it’s illegal in your state), self-defense classes, and try to make sure you are never, ever alone. I’m very sorry, this sucks and is something you shouldn’t have to be dealing with. Confide in teachers you’re close to, confide in your parents, confide in a few friends (but not too many, you don’t want to become gossip fodder and high schoolers have ways of making everything negative!) and try to stay positive. With all this preparation and forewarning, this guy next to no chance at succeeding at anything. In fact that’s probably why this counselor encouraged him to tell you. If he knows he will fail, I doubt he’ll try anything in the first place. Good luck, kiddo.

Thats beyond fucked up.

Run away from him! Tell him briefly and direct. Good Luck!

You talked about him to his therapist and the therapist discussed the issue? Something is a little fishy. Are you sure that it isn’t you who has a fantasy life?

I thought that therapists were supposed to keep things confidential between them and the patient, and any official of the law, if applicable. (Probation officers, lawyers, judges.)

Either way, just stay away from him…it won’t help him, or you, to fuel his desires further.

Talk to your school and your parents.

I’m with @Dog. Get a restraining order. The guys fantasies are escilating if he has found the courage to actually tell you about it.

This all sounds odd and off the wall. You are quite right to feel annoyed and violated. I would never talk to him again. Avoid him and forget he exists. Depending on how far you would like to go, you could report the therapist as well.

The therapist would only be able to tell authorities if they felt that their patient would harm themself or others. Not a minor in their patient’s fantasy.
You can’t get a restraining under these circumstances He hasn’t said he was going to rape you, he hasn’t threatened your life, he isn’t harassing you, and your life is not in immediate danger.
I agree with @filmfann and @Captain_Fantasy
@DarkScribe I agree, something doesn’t sound right.

All the laws everyone is talking about regarding therapists are applicable to the US – and if this is true, we have no idea where @Everest is from, so things might be different. That said, in this kind of question, I don’t really care if I’m being fucked with or not. I would rather state ways to help than look past it and have something potentially horrible happen. That said:

@Everest Tell your parents, first thing. Secondly, if this person ever talks to you again, tell them you aren’t comfortable speaking with them anymore because of what they told you. Politely remove yourself from their presence. If that doesn’t work, you’re going to have to tell them outright not to communicate with you. If that doesn’t work, tell authorities. Even if you’re not able to get a restraining order at that point, you’re report will be documented, which is very important if the situation escalates. Last, write things down yourself. In this case, write down the date he told you what he did – and document all of the days he says anything weird.

@DrasticDreamer All the laws everyone is talking about regarding therapists are applicable to the US

And Britain, and Australia, and New Zealand, and South Africa, and Italy, and Greece, and Japan, and Germany, and Italy, and France, and most of western Europe, etc,. etc. It is pretty well universal. Therapist do NOT discuss their patients with third parties.

“So I talked to his therapist, at school…and he wasn’t.”

I would report the therapist to the state, call a lawyer and notify the school of this situation.

That so called “therapist” had no right getting you involved in it. Or allowing that student access to you in the fashion that that “therapist” did.

“like rape and stuff”
This kid should have been removed from school property. Once admitting of having fantasy’s of raping fellow students. The therapist should have notified the school.

@DarkScribe Okay. We still don’t have any idea whether or not it’s true. The therapist could be an idiot – or the entire thing could be made up. Regardless, I think it’s still best to give advice in this kind of situation.

@DrasticDreamer Regardless, I think it’s still best to give advice in this kind of situation.

I will, when I feel that there is at least a possibility that the problem is real and as described. In this case I truly doubt that any therapist who was employed by a school would either discuss the issue with a third party, or in an age of school attacks, (knifing, shooting, assault etc.) not respond to a potential threat from a student. It is all fluff & nonsense as far as I am concerned, but if you feel that there even a remote possibility that it is real, then by all means offer the best advice that you can. I respect your opinion, I do not ever expect everyone else to agree with mine.

@DarkScribe I am in agreement about the therapist. Something doesn’t fit. I suppose speaking to the therapist to clarify as in was the purpose to warn the person.

I am not an expert on rape, but it just seems a really bad idea to discuss these fantasies as a means of introduction. The only even remotely rational platform would be a combination of warning and call for help.

Something definitely does not add up.

In the situation of uncertainty – at least caution is needed, if not much more.

I once asked an attorney as a curbside question – “I have a guy who probably shouldn’t drive. He says he won’t. Should I still report him?”

His answer “How are you going to feel next week if you read about him in the paper?”

I notified the DMV. That’s a tough argument to beat.

Everyone has perverted fantasies.

Anyone that denies it is lying.

@PacificRimjob Everyone has perverted fantasies.

No they don’t. A pervert’s fantasies would be normal – for them.

@DarkScribe

You’ve imagined someting truly fucked up.

Just admit it now.

What a tale!