What is the best way to clear a room of annoying party guests?

Play some Polka

Rent my mother-in-law. Failing that, a siren and a blue flashing light outside works wonders.

You could say that is now time for your traditional party game where all the women have to sleep with the host.

Tear gas.

I used to call the cops on parties that were at my house. The cops were very willing to help me clean out the people.

Having thrown many a parties in my own residence I know first hand, that if you really want someone to leave you just say so. It’s easy and they get the point. No sense in diddle dally’n around.

Prepare in advance by eating lots of dairy and horseradish. Fart.

I have no imagination, so I’d just tell em to gtfo.

Vomit profusely.

Hire me. I work cheap and I guarantee results.

not responsible for accidentally becoming a part of the problem if whiskey is present.

Ask them to leave. Hopefully if they are drinking you can convince them they are out of hand, drank too much, and are embarrassing themselves.

Start a game of ‘Pin the tail on the car across the street” and lock the doors.

Rack the slide on a pump shotgun a few times. This is a serious attention getter. Do not try this at home.

Follow each guest into the bathroom

@cockswain Lmao! :D

Police. If they are asked to leave and refuse, then they are there illegally.
If you have a taser, use that if they become abusive or violent.

I threw someone out of my wedding. I went to the person who brought her as a guest and said other guests were talking about her outrageous behavior.

Yell fire :)

“Attention everyone! I want to show you all some slides of my vacation to New Mexico from last year!”

Play operatic music and serve only oatmeal and milk.

My hubby has had to bounce his friends out of our home before. People just get out of hand and start breaking my glassware… Schmucks. I believe he grabbed An*** by his shirt collar and threw him off the front porch.

Apart from such direct (and quasi-violent) measures, in my experience the fastest way to end a party is to run out of beer.

I have to go with @laureth on this one. Fart. Fart loud. Fart often. Make sure people notice.

I actually have an extended thesis on this subject. I’ll spare you the details.

Use the gnat as an example. When one is buzzing around your head, it seems that swatting only increases his activity around your presence. Swatting also increases the odds you will actually hurt yourself. So there must be a better way to get shed of a gnat.

We must be smarter than the great gnat. We must think like the great gnat and overcome him at his own game. We must realize that there is something about us that is attracting the gnat… so, give our friendly gnat a tastier prize. If I’m at an outdoor restaurant, and a gnat is buzzing, I’ll place a squashed grape on the edge of the table, lead him away, and then place it on the ground where we both find satisfaction in our evening.

In the case of clearing a room full of men, consider placing bait outside the room you want them to vacate. “Hey! I heard there’s no cover at the strip club before 9pm tonight”... or “Have you seen the new hot bar tender at O’Connell’s pub? She comes on about now”... Something, anything to gently lead them away.

But definitely, NEVER EVER Fart in a room full of men expecting to clear them out. That might clear the women from the room, but it will only cause the men to become competitive and start farting themselves. Your goal is left undone, and the mess is bigger than before. Just give them another target and gently, cleverly lead them away… everybody wins… you, them, and the gnat.

One very easy solution costs less than four bucks

Ordering Now!

Sarin.

Change a baby diaper in that room.

While sobbing ask each person by name if they are the one who knocked over your grandmother’s ashes.

kick someone in the nuts, and/or call the cops and say they wont leave

Those people still there? Do what they do in restaurants, turn on all the lights, then start vacuuming and turning the chairs upside down.

Hire an extremely obese stripper and pronounce it the night’s entertainment.

On a more serious note, sometimes why people stay is they are afraid to drive while intoxicated and are waiting for the alcohol to wear off. Stop serving the booze and put out a pot of coffee, help find designated drivers.

Idk. im very forward and would just tell them to get the hell out.

Turn off access to the liquor and food, get out a black plastic garbage bag, and start asking people to help you clean up. Take the cup or bottle out of their hands.

@PandoraBoxx .. exactly take away their liquor. they will leave.

One touch of pepper spray, sprayed at the ceiling in the center of the rooom, will make them break the door down, attempting to leave. you did not hear this from me.

Fart

Tell them you are going to bed, and unless they leave right now you will lock the doors.

Go whisper in everyone’s ear, “I need you help. I’ve just soiled my pants.”

I’d hold up the baby’s latest post creamed-spinach dinner poop diaper and say “my god, will you just look at this?!’

I am an apartment owner. The advice I used to give kids when I spoke at the local high school senior seminars about renting apartments, residents rights and responsibilities was that if tou want to party, party at your friends apartment. Don’t risk messing up your rental refference because a good rental refference will literally ope doers for you in the future.

Don’t fill your room with them.

Darned iPhone! I can’t edit! I meant “open doors!”

Load the shotgun with blanks and rock salt. If the blanks don’t scare them away, a backside full of rock salt will get the rest of them moving in a hurry.