Best Friend or More?

Treat em’ like shit and they’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.

Is he gay? I don’t mean anything negative by that, it’s just possible he’s slowly coming to terms with himself, and that’s why you can never be together.

I challenge you to quickly come to grips with your feelings for him. If you adore him, and do not plan to drop him like a bad habit for the flavor of the week, then you should say that plainly. Or better yet don’t say anything just make it perfectly clear where you stand. If there is some resistance to that then go into the dialogue about where you stand. Maybe lay out some expectations.

Do not let the unsaid spoil it. Have it out. If it goes up in flames, so be it. Regretting this will haunt you. Don’t waste any more time.

A few things might happen. You might get hurt. He might see that he has the advantage of being the one that didn’t cave in. Normal human power play, quickly surrender if you want what you want, a meaningful relationship. You can regain that symbolic ground at some other time.

Good luck. Don’t be a stalker or anything, but don’t act to hard to get.

What you can only control is the future – make one where the two of you are an item.

How did you find out that your roommate told him that? Have you shared that information with him?

Is there something in his family situation that would explain why he would think that you couldn’t be together?

Is he playing around with your feelings? Does he initiate the cuddles? Is he gay?

@nope My thoughts exactly

There’s only one answer. You gotta talk to him. Tell him what you feel and ask him what he feels. The only downside of a talk is that you may lose him as a friend so you have to be prepared for that. But if I were you, I would have trouble being left in limbo. It sounds to me like he does like you, but there may be some impediment. If you can handle the answer, ask him.

For this part “Well, he asked my room mate what she thought about us. Her response? That I didn’t like him nearly as much as he liked me. (My room mate liked him)” I think that he just got the impression that you didn’t like him, but probably still felt something for you inside. For this part, “and even at one point asked me when he was drunk if I knew that we could never be together” 3 words, He.Was.Drunk. A word of advice, don’t pay attention to them when they’re drunk, they don’t know what they’re saying. Now, in all, I think that you two are so close that there can be a relationship in there, but because of his first impression of your love together, whenever he slips he pulls back. Give it time. Time can heal everything (mostly everything) But if you want results, don’t sound desperate and don’t try and make the relationship what you want it to be, act like you don’t care. Eh. Men, can’t live with them ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

I agree with molly, and was wondering if someone would bring it up. His interest in you was stunted by the roommate’s statement. That’s sexual enough for my purposes.

People cope in many ways – He was rejected, and his coping mechanism may be insurmountable. This whole mess however was generated by communication error. He asked the friend instead of you. This one is not direct, other than statements when he was drunk.

One issue is that passion fades. If his coping mechanism has you out of it, then any hope you had will pass.

For peace of mind, you should at least correct the grave error selfishly perpetrated by your roommate.

Be brave, you care about him, and there is something reciprocal there – if it blows up – it’s not the end of the world, it probably wont, unless you also tell him you want him to stop flirting.

If you feel devious – remember the way to a mans heart is not his stomach.

Dolce…I agree with @nope and @partyparty…...I think he is either gay or confused about his sexuality. He gets drunk and says, ” Do you know we can never be together?” That’s quite a strong statement. I think he might be attempting to tell you without blurting it out.