How do you know if a guy is in love or just wants sex?

Is he male?

Kidding aside, sometimes we fool even ourselves that we are in love, when we really are in it just for the sex.

I suppose only time will tell, and you find either you have more in common than sex or you don’t.

chances are he wants both

If he just wants sex he will leave you money on the nightstand.
Yes, having sex to soon in the relationship can sometimes (not always S and JPS)
be a relationship killer. He got what he wants, adios baby.

they are not mutually exclusive. As a general rule I thumb I would say all guys want sex and some may even be in love with you. The trick is to find the guy that has both feelings not one or the other

When his dick does all the talking.

“cut him off!”

You’ll have to talk to him about this. No one here can make any assumptions about how he thinks, and you can’t either. I know you’re trying to protect yourself, but making assumptions just make you feel awful for no reason. There’s no way around actually communicating with him. Whatever he tells you, know that you will be all right. It’s always a good thing to be honest and share your feelings with someone you’re interested in.

Try to sense if his feelings are genuine. Maybe he’s faking it.

Try saying something sweet to him at an unexpected place and time. Judging on his response you can sense if the feelings are genuine or not.

Just do what the feeling in your stomach tells you to do ;)

Give him the 30 day test.

No sex for a month. If all is still good, you just might have a keeper.

I agree with @ChazMaz. If you hold out and don’t give him any and he is still around, you’re golden. If he takes off, then all he wanted was sex.

ChazMaz, great answer. i was just about to say this myself. you beat me to it and thats okay. great answer plus one.

Of course this depends on you being able to go 30 without sex yourself.

My ex wife did it to me. I am glad she did. It meant a lot to myself. Knowing how much she did mean to me.

But then again, she is my ex. I might have been better off just getting laid. :-)

Why black or white? The reality is that a guy usually wants sex initially, AND he might want an affectionate relationship that will lead to love once that sexual connection is established. Few guys will persevere monogamously for weeks at a times without sex if they are already sexually experienced. Women shouldn’t “barter” sex as a trading commodity unless they actually go into the sex trade. It will usually do the opposite of what they want, if what they want is respect and a relationship. By the time they reach their late thirties or forties, they have little to barter – the competition from younger women is too fierce. It is only when they are young and the guys are naive that it works.

You really don’t. If you two started off with no sex and that’s what he really wanted from you then he might be very persistent and invest a lot of time to get it eventually but you might see that time spent as emotional bonding. If you two started out with sex and kept on having sex and sex and enjoyed each other’s company then you’d still not know for sure if there was more to it unless you two started talking emotions. It happens.

Do you both enjoy activities that don’t involve sex? Do you go to restaurants or talk or “fill in the blank”?
Try it. That’s important.

You always come first.

“You always come first.”

I have used that tactic to get sex. ;-)

@ChazMaz-I have used it to get the remote.lol!

See, I told ya!

@lucillelucillelucille @ChazMaz

ROTHFLMAO Please, stop already…my sides ache!

@davidbetterman – :))

Just because a guy doesn’t want sex, doesn’t mean he is in love. It just may mean he is respectful enough to not bother you about it. If he just wants sex, I think it would be more obvious. He would be irritated if you turned him down or if he seems anxious about why you haven’t given it up already. A patient, understanding guy would seem to be one that is interested in more of you than just that.

What does it mean? What does it mean?

No one can tell you, except your boyfriend and even he may be unable to articulate it, assuming he knows himself well enough to be able to tell you. The only way you can know is to have that conversation with him. “What does this mean?”

I always did that. For me, it was and is a very serious thing, and I generally thought it would lead to…. well, I hoped it would lead to a serious relationship. Unless I didn’t want that. In either case, I wanted to be respectful of my partner and I wanted to get clear on where we were at. You can’t do that without a conversation.

The problem is—he may not be able to know or articulate his feelings. He may not know what he wants or what it means. He might get scared of what it means and not want to talk to you about that. He might have bad intentions and not want you to know so he could get some more sex.

Despite our reputation, not all guys are jerks. Some really do care about feelings and their partners. So, I would trust my feelings. You say he seems to have feelings. You have to talk about those feelings with him. You have to make sure you aren’t reading it all wrong. Maybe he even wants to talk about it, too, and doesn’t know how to bring it up.

If you decide you want to do this, ask another question about how to do it.

If your man has deep caring intrerest in you without pressing for sex, he’s a keeper. My relationship with my lady Meghan was based on caring, protection and mutual trust for over four years without sex. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, maybe this is my femine side, but I considered sex to be the ultimate expression of love and commitment. We had an unstated agreement that sex+ engagement. After our first sex, the ring was on her breakfast tray and I proposed on my knees as a gentleman should. We were married six months later after Megs physical therapy was complete. We were both fans of Edgar Rice Burroughs; she was “my princess” and I was “her warrior”. We were both thoroughly convinced of each others commitment and loyalty before sex entered the scene. Meghan actually had to initiate our first sexual encounter.

You both got what you wanted…a little action. The fact that he is showing interest means it was a good thing even though it was right out of the gate. Even if you waited a month that wouldn’t make the sex any better off the bat. I say get him back in the sack and let the chips fall where they may. Anyone who has ever had a long term relationship know good sex won’t guarantee a relationship will last…good cooking, cold beer and the ability to say “you are right dear” is what it takes to make it to the golden years.

@Cruiser Thanks, I liked your reply, that’s kind of what I plan to do now that I’ve read all of your replies – I’ll just stop worrying let whatever happen happens.

I think he is interested and we both wanted sex so you are right, we both got what we wanted. He kissed me goodbye when he left and said he wanted to see me again, so at least that’s a good thing. :)

@mary84 , does the moniker mean you are 25 or 26? And if so, aren’t you a little old to not know things like this? I’m not being judgmental, I just haven’t seen a person in their mid twenties not know this. Of course, I’ve been out of the game so to speak for a little while. shrugs

@MrBr00ks Sorry but no – I don’t know. If I knew I wouldn’t be asking. Why don’t you tell me how I can find out instead?

Hold off for a few dates. If he’s not interested in you he’ll get bored and leave.
That’s how you know.

create balance, do lots of things together but if he likes to cuddle in public then he wants to spend time with you and wants to spend time with you wearing clothes.

If he’s the one, he is feeling as you are, presumably confused and shitty-like. Sometimes people jump the gun, like you two did and sometimes all the tension needs is some time to cool off. If he’s still around during this cool off period, then he loves you.

Does having sex too early in the dating phase cause the guy to lose interest (me being a female)?
Not necessarily. It depends on the guy.
However, what if you sense that the guy has actual feelings, but you ended up having sex too soon? Having a sense, and knowing for sure are two very different things.
How do you know if a guy is in love or if he wants just sex? there is no way to know for sure. The guy could be a good actor, and trick you. Obviously, if he’s pressuring and bugging you about sex, he’s just in it for the sex.
It’s best to wait a couple weeks to a month.

@Cruiser, I stand and applaud you:) good cooking, cold beer and the ability to say “you are right dear” is what it takes to make it to the golden years

Well I’ll never know for sure unless I muster up enough courage to speak to him about it, and I’m afraid of doing that as I don’t want to have “the talk” too early. Last few times I had a “talk” with a guy or tried to talk to them about our “feelings” it didn’t go so well.

But this is a different man. And those last few did go well, in the sense that you found out where you stood and moved on from there, even if that meant you and the guy broke it off. At least you learned you and those men weren’t on the same wavelength and saved yourselves some grief. Think of it that way.