Should I give him his space?
Asked by
Justnice (
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)
March 2nd, 2010
from iPhone
My boyfriend and I are really close. We tell eachother everything. But this time, he’s going through a tough time and he’s completely shutting me out. He won’t call and he won’t come see me. He doesn’t answer my texts. I call and he only talks to me for a minute. I really want to help him but how can I if he won’t let me? Why is he shutting me out this time? Should I just leave him alone until he comes around or should I keep trying to get through him.
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20 Answers
Just turn it around and give him the silent treatment for awhile. Since he isn’t responding, what else can you do. Don’t force yourself on him. Don’t appear desperate.
Definately let him have his space. Do you think there is a possibility that he wants to break up with you? This was my first thought when I read your question.
give him some space. If he’s going through a tough time, let him have his time to himself. But don’t go away from him completely, just let him know you’re there.
If he truly cares about you he would have at least told you what is troubling him.
If he is too gutless to admit he wants to distance himself from you as a path to ending the relationship, then you probably want someone more honest and respectful.
Give him his space, but don’t delude yourself that he is planning to come back. If he does open up to you again, listen carefully to what he says to determine what he really means.
Guide yourself accordingly.
@Theby I don’t think he wants to break up with me cause I asked him today and he said it’s definitely not that. (I just felt kind of stupid writing that because he could have been lying). He just told me that he’s really stressed and he can’t concentrate which is why he doesn’t want to deal with me right now
You go out and live your life while Mr. Lost In Space gets acquainted with his Final Frontier.
I’d wouldn’t bother him at all.
By all means, give him the space. Sometimes guys are like that – they have to pull back for a while, especially if they really like you. I would suggest not calling him – just let him call you when he’s ready. And do what you can to accept it instead of getting snippy or bitter. Treat him as you always have. In the meantime, focus on living your own life and having a good time, seeing friends, etc. When he’s ready, he’ll come around. Good luck!
Let him know where he can find you when he’s good and ready to come out of the shell. In the meantime, do something productive, something that you enjoy doing even without his company. Don’t let his demeanor ruin your own.
Tell him that you care, and you would like to support him in any way you can. Then back off.
“I asked him today and he said it’s definitely not that.” Yeah right. Don’t make the mistake of being too available. That’s a good way to get taken for granted. Give him all the space he needs and find other things to occupy your time.
And don’t be available if he does decide to get in tough whenever his ship lands again. The fact that he doesn’t tell you what’s up makes me suspicious.
What is the tough time? Is there sickness in the family? Something related to his schooling? Or is he eyeballing another female and wants to keep you stringing along in case it doesn’t work out?
May they all crash and burn.
Do you have any idea what is wrong with him? this should be no. 1 with you. find out whats troubling him. are you sure its not someone else? your question has an air of doubt about another woman. check it out, before its too late for either of you.
Honestly I don’t know what it is. Maybe it is another woman. Cause he knows he could tell me anything. I certainly don’t want to be naive. That is a possibility
My Grandmother always said “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” I would give him a lot of space. In fact I would wait for him to contact you.
Yes, they are all right. Step back for a while!
Some people do need space when they’re feeling down or troubled, but if that’s not his usual pattern, then something’s up. If he isn’t going through an exceptionally worse time than the times before, then it may concern the relationship. Give him the space he needs and he’ll contact you when he’s ready.
If this isn’t the prelude to the end then you need to give him space. By constantly contacting him, especially if he’s having issues right now, he will just feel like you are crowding & pressurising him. Which will lead to resentment.
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