(NSFW) Can you speak sex talk?

Well, it’s not something that comes naturally to me…. but then again, I’ve never been with a woman who asked me to talk dirty to her. Have had a few steamy txt chats with a woman but thats a totally different dynamic.

@Cloverfield I can do the text thing and be very explicit, it’s just verbally. I do say the odd thing to him, when he tells me to, I just don’t think I do it well.

Guys like to hear gals say:

Cock

Hard

Push

Ohhh

Yes

Fine

Shaft

Drive

Phat

Deep

Plow

Please

and of course… Fuck Me

Men are simple creatures. Any arrangement of the above list will get the message across. The more incoherent the better. No sentences need be formed. No shouting necessary. Just say these words in a rambling fashion and the point will be made. I assure you.

@Dibley Hah, I could have written the exact same thing…. well, swapping him for her!

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies That was good for me. You?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Good answer, I can say those though. My boyfriend like me to say other stuff sometimes though. Fuck me is about my limit. In my head I’m really dirty, but verbally I just feel a little embarrassed maybe, I don’t know.

Hehe… I must admit it got me going just typing it out. Now I’m imagining @Dibley practicing saying them while driving to work tomorrow… Hahahaha

@Dibley

Fuck me actually pushes the limits. That phrase is a specific instruction, and we all know that men tend to throw the instructions away, never ask for directions, and put things together simply by using their tools and looking at the pictures.

So don’t give instructions to someone who doesn’t want to be instructed. Just offer up a rambling of word pictures (listed above) and count on him to use the proper tool to put it all together for you.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I can’t really explain what he wants me to say, but it is quite a bit more than the words you provided.

Then he needs to give you a list, and time for you to memorize it and become his robot chicken.

Never say, “Is it in yet?”

@worriedguy That would be impossible to say!

I was always a bit quiet, and still am, though an occasional thing here or there . But I dated someone for a short period of time, and she really liked it when I would talk dirty to her, so I got some practice in while we dated.

Pretty much go on @RealEyesRealizeRealLies suggestion, those are all good things guys like to hear.

Making love and a good fucking are two different things. Making love is with emotions, caring, touching, and saying real sweet things to each other.

Now, if you are the mood for a good old fashion fucking, going for every position know to man, viewing every room in the house, maybe outside in the mud, etc., then those words should come out with the moment. Just let all hang out is my motto.

But, having said that, as you get older, the love making is more fun. At some point, all that other is just good fun and exercise of the body and mouth.

Practice. Practice using and saying the key words out loud and then add “I want” “kiss my” and stuff like “I like it when you” and a few “yes’s” and “ooohhh baby’s” and you are golden!

Practice by reciting the phone book aloud in the voice of Foghorn Leghorn…but real sexy-like!
why don’t you just say what you feel? :)

@lucillelucillelucille A real sexy Foghorn Leghorn voice…..? Sorry you just boggled my mind.

I learned them all en francaise, which makes it rather useless for me in this forum. My English versions come across as very clinical.

Tell him what your feeling, as long as it’s not are you in yet or in Foghorn Leghorn’s voice. Although some men do like to choke the chicken.

Action speak louder than words.

@pearls you wild and lusty woman! lol

@BoBo1946 You got that right.

@pearls yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Wow, you went all the way off the page. Did that excite you? ;-)

@pearls Lmao….......i’ll never tell!

That’s why actions speak louder than words. LOL!!!

@pearls action…ummm…got’cha!

I don’t want to know what to say, I know what to say. I want to know how to feel confident enough to say it.

@Dibley what was that commerical several years ago….“just do it!” loll only you can make that call.

@BoBo1946 I just don’t seem to be able to, which is so unusual for me. Normally he has to sort tell me to say it and I want to be able to do it on my own.

@Dibley He’s a guy, he wants to hear almost anything I’d bet. Does he sextalk to you?

@Adirondackwannabe Ok, I know what he wants me to say, I know what does it for him. Yes he has no problems saying things to me. If it was just what people suggested on here that he wanted me to say, then I would have no problem. My question is how do I say what he wants me too, I need the confidence to without feeling embarrassed.

@Dibley when no one is around, just scream those words out…loll

@Dibley What is it he wants you to say?

@Adirondackwannabe That is a little private.

@Dibley Okay, I tend to go a little to far sometimes.

@Dibley I think the process is known as operant conditioning or some sort. Remember the words that he uses and repeat them to yourself in private until they lose whatever “blocking” effect they have.

That’s ok. If I said it on here, some people would only say “oh that isn’t right, you shouldn’t have to say that” and so on. It is just about some role playing games we have, he just likes me to ‘confirm things’.

Maybe you could practice some stream of consciousness talking when you are not in bed, just saying whatever thoughts come to mind while doing chores or whatever. Then when you are comfortable with that, try it in bed. I know that when I am in bed with someone I think about what I want to do and have done.

@Dibley It sounds like he’s asking you to go pretty far. Maybe he should do something else for you in return?

@Adirondackwannabe I don’t mind doing anything. It’s getting the confidence to say it.

@stump I do try that actually, I can say it to him any other times, but I just find it difficult to speak when he is inside me.

@Dibley Hehehehe!

@Dibley That leaves way to many things running thru my mind, all of them dangerous.

Practice makes perfect.

@CloverfieldThat’s what he said.lol!

@lucillelucillelucille Hah… naughty :)

@Dibley Try cybersex with him. Typing those words allows your brain to warm up to them, and is a nice in-between with real life. Maybe “sexting” him, too, would work for you.

In my relationship, my SO prompts me to say things, asks me what I want, while we’re having sex. That helps.

I like your sex questions, @Dibley, because you not only ask for our experiences and opinions, but advice or solutions to problems. It makes me think about these things in a different way. =)

Dirty talk is another one of those must do’s.

That is if you want to see Mr. Happy jump.

If you are shy about it, do it in a sort of wry jokey amused way. It kind of takes the pressure off. The more excited you get the less you’ll care (after the first part).

@shadling21 Thanks, I like all opinions, good and bad, that is part of life.

He asks me to say things while we are having sex, I do say them, but I don’t feel I say them like I should be.

Fake it until you make it -eventually it’ll come more naturally to say those things.

Here’s an Idea @Dibley… Select a special jar that you two can draw from and then both of you write things down you want the other to hear including acts you want the other to do.

You just read the papers to the other- kind of like a wants and desires jar. then you would be able to say the dirty things he or you might want to hear. then perhaps you will get comfortable with dirty talking.

You might want to tell yourself that when you home and in the mood that it’s ok to talk trashy, even change your hair or have a special outfit so its like an alter person or another side of you coming out to play…

The with and I have a closet with dress-up clothes and and one of these jars but ours has some edgy stuff that might even make you blush!

I’m pretty much in agreement with the others who say talk is a bit different during what I interpret as lovemaking versus fucking but I am a lot more vocal then with previous partners whereas my SO says they’ve never been the vocal type.

I really like what @phil196662 suggests, sounds like a lot of fun without the pressure of thinking up things on the fly. Super stressed people sometimes have a hard time getting going.

Thank You @Neizvestnaya ; kind of keeps things random.

Pretend you have tourettes, you don’t have to say the words in any particular order, just do it loud and with conviction. Also, he needs to talk to you….“Yeah, baby you like when I…” and you say “Oh yeah! I love it when you do…”

ugh. this is the worst. i cant, at all. i dont really feel a need to though—the only thing that gets to me is my boyfriend SOMETIMES says things before or while we’re having sex and since i can’t be sexy if my life depends on it, i highly struggle to respond in the same tone or with the same wit. if i’m really really in the mood i MIGHT let something slip, but it rarely happens. i’m more of a “K GET IN HERE” rather than “oh god i want your hard dick in my…..”....yeah, i cant even bear to type it. lol.

Damn, I am one lucky guy. We are both as verbal and explicit as we can be. She knows that dirty talk drives me over the top quicker than any touch. The mind IS the biggest sex organ. And she loves to hear it too. Talking for us (and always has been for me) absolutely integral to having sex and/or making love…the former being hot and dirty, the latter being soft and tender. We love both.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I just have one question. Why do people use the word “phat”? What is that anyway, fat? Then…have we gotten to the point of redefining spelling?

@Dibley I know how you feel! I am the same way my head can come up with all sorts of naughty things I am sure he would love to say, but for some reason I can not say it out loud, and often feel like it is embarrassing even though he would like it. Such a dilemma!

i thought of this question when i said something mildly dirty during sex last night hahahhhahahhaahahhahhaahhahhaahha

@coogan You got it…..had no idea there were so many who are “dirty talk” impaired. Thought it was just natural. Maybe being older helps.

this is quite a common problem, that women ( and men ) find difficult to translate from their mind (fantasy) into words (reality). There are no boundaries in your mind, and therfore nothing is forbidden. If you verbalise what you are thinking, all of a sudden it becomes something that is shared, and not ‘yours’. please feel free to message me privately, if you need further help or advice.

@Dibley I must confess. I too, struggle with talking dirty. The only things I really say, is ‘pull my hair’, when we’re in doggy style.

@Violet ; What about Harder if he’s holding the sides of your body pinching to keep you from getting too far away!

@phil196662 pinching?

@Violet ; Grasping… He gives you a hug and holds your sides- but your on your back or doggy and he holds just above your waist so you can’t escape his thrusting…

@phil196662 oh ok. I do say faster, I’m not sure if I say harder.

Ok, thinking back, sex talk probably didnt even exist for me when I was in my 20s, maybe not my 30s either…...but somehow, someplace along the way (not when I was married to the prude..aughhh) it became an integral part of all sexual activity. So maybe it just might happen naturally and gradually when one gets older.

@Violet Saying ‘pull my hair’ is better than ‘pull my finger!’

@Violet ; you know he’s got ya when you say harder and faster and he’s gripping you and you only feel the pressure from his grasp and not the sensation but know exactly how hard he’s getting all the spots inside…

@Cloverfield ah ha ha ha!!! I agree
@phil196662 I’m so confused.

@violet; endorphins! Your on the rise panting like crazy and as you go higher the pain of the grip is less and less but you feel the pressure of his grasp and kind of _don’t care because his member feels soooooo goooood…But then you discover the red marks the next day and then go gee, he was really gripping hard and you think- me want more!

anyone need coaching, then get in touch

Coaching… @WickedTickles ; We could have classes as a team, don’t think we will have a problem with our students doing there homework…