What are dog farts so heinous?

Dude, do you see what they eat? Behind your back they are noshing on cat turds, bird carcasses, lint, old tires and most likely the crotch of your old ladies jeans. Ummm, yeah, their farts are destined to be uber.

So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

@TheLoneMonk @dpworkin

You guys are awesome

@dp: most dog farts are silent and that line is a George Carlin ripoff so your answer stinks…heheh

I’m not sure but cat flatulence isn’t far behind in the eminently noxious odor department. What’s worse is, one or more of our 5 cats sometimes doesn’t cover up their bowel movements in the litter box and that is a truly abominable smell also.

If George Carlin said it, then it was a case of independent creativity. That makes me even more awesome.

I am with @Bluefreedom on the cat farts. They are hideous. I have no idea how they get to be that way, since my cats eat nothing but cat food. But good lord almighty it’s terrible.

@Bluefreedom – Just for your FYI – whoever isn’t burying is claiming the post of Top Cat. Yes, they do think it doesn’t stink.

Oh sure, blame your flatulence on the dog.

Just wondering, what kind of creature’s farts do you feel aren’t heinous?

I hear Katherine Heigl’s smell like lavender and potpourri.

@AstroChuck For some reason, most (not all) women don’t seem to be very bad. Guys are nasty, but dogs of every breed I’ve encountered are just ridiculous..

heinous rhymes with anus!

really? not penis?

no. penis rhymes with dpworkin well sort of… j/k of course. I passed fonics

@cockswain Just for you! You can’t say I never gave you anything!
http://www.castlemerebooks.com/WebStore/Walter.html

Dog mouths have been everywhere

lactose-intolerant pregnant woman

lolwut

What are you feeding your dog? Beans, and soybeans? There’s the answer. And, what a comment on pregnant women—have you really known any?

Case in point why I never follow too closely behind my dog as she climbs the stairs. It seems like the slight tilt in gravity causes a steady discharge, sounds like there’s someone playing asteroids strapped to her butt. Noxious!!

@Cruiser You just me the inspiration to have another child

@skfinkel yes, I would never make a terrible false joke about pregnant women

Dogs are smelly all around, I think, but I’m not really a dog person. Though one time my cat had something, I don’t know what, and thank God it passed, but for a few days the poor guy, was farting day and night and it smelled like something had crawled up in there and died.

The real answer is, feed the highest quality dog food you can afford. High amounts of undigested food in the bowel will increase gas.

It’s also possible your dog eats too fast, leading to more air in the bowels to be expelled later. Feeding smaller meals or a bowl that slows down eating will help.

Barring any health issues, those are usually the 2 main causes.

Honest answer, most of the dog food that dogs eat is loaded with dead animal blood. it goes in smelly and comes out a bomb shell. air fresher, anyone?

My cats farts smell like cinnamon toast!

@OneMoreMinute I am NEVER eating cinnamon toast at your house.

@keobooks LOL!

It’s the worst when Molly is gassy and sleeping on the floor beside me and my husband is gassy and sleeping on the bed on the other side of me. And he wonders why I don’t sleep well!

ew i wish i knew. my german shepherds farts are like nothing else in the world. it is unbearable. and have you noticed that they linger about 10x as long as a regular fart? no, probably more like 20x or 30x. unreal.

I’ve NEVER smelt a dog fart before. That being said.. I’ve had a Yorkie and a Schnauzer.. not to mention they do get fed a little bit of people food every now and again.

You should try driving two Rotties nearly a thousand kilometres in a closed van when it is minus six degrees outside.

Passing motorists: “Look at that idiot driving in mid-winter with his head and shoulders out of the window.”

CLUE: @meagan writes “smelt” (not “smelled” like an American) so she might be a Brit.
You know how we Americans stuff everything we can with corn products in order to subsidize the poor corn farmers (and that is why everything we eat is full of high fructose corn syrup)? Let’s only buy imported dog food for awhile and see what happens.

@susanc _CLUE: @meagan writes “smelt” (not “smelled” like an American) _

Clue. British spelling is “smelled” although some dictionaries now accept the US version “smelt”. (Smelt is to extract ore by melting it.)

@darkscribe: Smelt (tiny fish) is also what I had for dinner last night, but that’s another subject

I am not a dog person and always wondered if people kept dogs just so they could fart freely and always blame the beast. Otherwise, I see no reason.

That is what makes a dog special.

Then who would I blame? Besides, all in all. I have found a human fart to carry a higher note. When coming to odor.

The dog just catches you off guard.

Another thing that puzzles me is why can you never hear dog farts? I ONCE heard a very faint one slip out of my dog and I took off running for the door. But at the same time I thought it was hilarious and wished I heard them more often, 1. so I could get the hell out of the room and 2. because again, it’s so funny to hear a dog fart.

“why can you never hear dog farts?”

Dogs cut it loose.

We try to hold it in and we have butt cheeks.

@ChazMaz is that really why? cause they’re just out in the open so theres’s nothing for it to vibrate against, or something? never thought of that. you brilliant man.

@deni – Next time you have to “poof.”

Bend over, spread your cheeks and let it rip. Except for (the possible) damage to the wall you are pointing at. It will sound like a gas release. Which is what it is.
I have lit a few farts in my day. ;-)

Oh, and when/if you do try it. Make sure you take a picture. ;-)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA right! I’ll get out of bed now and get on that promptly!

best thread ever!