Do I expect too much from my friends?

There are different levels of friendship.
There’s nothing wrong with having the kind of friends who are good for good happy times, but you have to differentiate them from your true blue friends.
It sounds like you’re not doing that. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but recognizing the difference could save you some emotional energy and disappointment.

If you are looking for support from these friends and aren’t getting it,then move on.What is the point if it is not a mutual thing?

It’s hard to move on from friends. At least for me i cannot decide one day I don’y want to be friends with certain people anymore. I had a similar problem recently where if i’m down or sick, he doesn’t really care. But he expected me to listen to him and just be there to have a great time, go out, party, etc. so i wrote him a huge message telling him how I feel. What i like about messages is that you can say anything you want to say, focus on all your feelings, and get your point across without even getting interupted. I was so surprised when he called me and asked me “where is this all coming from?”
so for him he had no idea he was even being like this…what i’m saying is you have to talk to your friends about it, make them aware of there behavior first because if you do decide to drop them as friends you have to tell them why at least, they deserve to know. But if you decide to keep them, talk to them, and maybe you guys will get closer. Do they even know you feel this way?

You don’t need to alienate yourself from those people though you don’t feel that your meaning of friendship is reciprocated. Keep them as the other friends and start to develop another set of friends that you can count on through thick and thin. Remember that everybody is different, but not less.

@Likeradar Thank you. This makes sense.
I can’t help but think that I actually have nobody I can confide in as such. Most of my friends are fun-time people.
@lucillelucillelucille This is my gut feeling.
@nimarka1 I had the conversation with one close friend recently and I explained how I felt she was “emotionally closed” when it came to our friendship. She said she didn’t realise she came across that way, but it got awfully awkward and she wasn’t responding. Things haven’t been the same with us since.
It’s frustrating ‘cause I get calls when my friends are feeling down and there’s an expectation there, as a friend. However, it simply isnt’ reciprocated.

@njnyjobs That sounds like something I need to do, thanks.

They might feel that you want to be left alone.
But i bet if it was a critical situation that you suffered, they would all be there for you.
When i suffered a serious situation, people i didn’t know were my friends were helping as well.

Put friends in one of these buckets; friend for a reason, friend for a season or friend for a life time. Set expectations accordingly.

It’s well said that “what goes around, comes around.” If you give with the expection of getting something back, you will always be disappointed. But if you give freely, , with no expectations, then when you get something back, it’s always a pleasant surprise. You may simply have too many “fairweather friends,” but that’s THEIR problem, not yours.

When you’re in one of your low points, how do you act?

This has been happening to me recently too, with some of my co-workers. It’s really hard getting used to pulling back from your high expectations of your friends. It really is, and one knotch below what you hope, is just a little disheartening. And, agreed, I feel at a low point too when things like these happen. However, it’s not only your friend, but something about them has altered in their life which is making them change in this way. When I’m suddenly “bringing them down”, they pull back etc. And at these times, it’s not only my off days, but it’s when I realize my options. If I give so much time, and patience, but am treated by dirt, and how they don’t even realize what they’re doing, let alone try and fix what’s happening, I wonder, are they really the people who I want to be friends with. Of course they are, maybe they’re going through a stage, maybe I can make up excuses to prevent myself from reaching the truth. But over the past few days, you need to let them go, and focus on yourself and that will really help. Not only this, but I have been thinking about their actions, and what they say, their body language. This is what I’ve learned, and maybe this only applies to my situation, but hopefully it can help out my fellow jelly here too :) I’ve learned that they treat you this way, and now I’m speaking specifically about a VERY long time friend, who’ve I’ve been with since college. And when I notify her of what’s happening, how she should realize it, etc. she accuses me of only going to her to complain. I don’t do this, and I know that she needs her time. Anyways, I have learned that she treats me like this because she knows that I’ll never leave her. She knows that together, we can both overcome the difficulties and obstacles that arise in our friendship. But, what she doesn’t realize is how she has changed/ is changing and how it has affected me. But, I know that she and I can both and are still both going to continue being friends, because in the long run, this experience will benefit us both. My greatest piece of advice for you is, go to the friends who you know will never turn their backs on you, and be thankful for their kindness and friendship. Give the others a break, let them find their way, but most importantly, stay strong. Don’t give up because things will turn out better.

If they don’t return the friendship why are you staying close to them?

I’ll be your friend!

@Ltryptophan why, thank you :)
Thanks for all of the replies. I’ve decided that this one friendship in particular isn’t one that can have a happy medium, so I’m going to move on.
As for any one that can shift to another level naturally, then that’s fine. I’d like to keep those people in my life and work on meeting new people outside of that.

Huh….. either I’m secretly you, & consequently going mad. Or I have the same problem.