Do you ever find yourself doing everything for certain people?
Asked by
DominicX (
28813
)
March 6th, 2010
My roommate is like this in many ways. He asks me to do stuff for him all the time and I do it. :\
He traditionally begins the statements of request with “if you wanna”, I suppose to make it look completely optional. “If you wanna come down here and help me bring the bikes back”, “if you wanna set my lock for me”, “if you wanna check my email”, “if you wanna get my clothes ready”, etc.
Why do I keep giving in?!!! :|
There are some things I won’t do, like when he asks me to get him a piece of candy or something from the drawer that’s 5 feet away, I always say “forget it!”. But other times, I just give in and my friends are like “don’t let him do that to you”, but honestly, I wouldn’t do it if I truly minded it.
Do you think what I’m doing is bad? Have you ever been in a similar situation?
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12 Answers
Yes. It is like that every time I visit my mom, but she’s my mom.
BTW I love your tags. Thanks for the giggles.
I do think what you are doing is bad. You are enabling this person to be depednent. I have been in a similar situation at school in which I have to do everything for my partner or group.
Its best to ween them off of their dependencies and thrust them into reality.
I find that a few key people in my life want me to do everything for them, and no, I do not give in. I will make allowances depending on the circumstance, but I literally do not have the strength to carry someone else’s dead weight, either physically or emotionally.
Yes, my fiance is always asking me to blow him, but he never asks it of anyone else. :(
Is this your roommate or your “roommate?” Because if it’s just someone you happen to be living with, then I have to ask, what the fuck?
If it’s your lover, then, well, let me tell you what happens if you keep letting this happen. You turn into me. Trust me. You do not want to turn into me. I have been unable to stand up to all my wife’s “requests” and as a result I ended up very resentful and did a lot of things that were harmful to my marriage.
You can justify it to yourself now that you don’t mind. But in the future it will get old and you will get resentful, and that ain’t good. Start to figure out how to stop this now. An equal relationship will be much more stable and happy in the long run. No one should be the other’s servant.
exhusband. take take take take take.
@wundayatta
Oh no, it’s just someone I happen to be living with. Trust me, he’s a good guy and he does most things on his own. I think he’s just trying to see how much he can get away with me doing. When it comes time for a test, he’ll sit there for hours studying on his own, he does not rely on other people for everything, I think he is just really lazy sometimes.
For some of the things, yes, I will not do them because I do think that he needs to do them himself and be forced to face reality.
(Trust me, my boyfriend is like afraid to ask for anything. He’s quite timid. Better than he used to be, but nothing like my roommate).
Yeah…I brush my teeth 3 times a day….I am so demanding.
Certain people just seem to need a lot of help.
Ha.
My roommate and I actually had a little fight over this recently. He has mono and has had it for a couple weeks and he was basically appalled that I wasn’t waiting on him hand and foot. He was mad at me because he had to ask for me to do things for him, but I was “raised differently” so he’d forgive me.
Needless to say, I blew up at him. I’m the one with rich parents, I’m supposed to be a spoiled brat who expects the world to be handed to him and yet I was the one who was actually taught how to do things for myself. He’s not going to know what hit him when the real world finally does smack him in the face…
Oh well, living with friends next year in a house. Can’t wait ‘til then. :)
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