If you have had an extremely serious, even life-threatening, illness: what have you learned?

I have learned that life is too short.
It really is that simple.
:)

Hi Jeruba, I can speak on behalf of my mum who is in her 5th and probably final year of stage 4 ovarian cancer she was diagnosed 5 years ago and was told by her doctors not to waste time, she was given 6 months to live back in 2005 and she is still bravely battling on. We have had some pretty deep discussions about death and how precious life is but we haven’t spoken about hospice yet. Sadly in mums case she will not be cured so she trys to remain positive and optimistic that new and better chemos will come along, she knows that every day she is here is a bonus and she is keeping busy by travelling overseas and renovations to a new apartment, she just never stops and this is her coping mechanism. She has put all her business affairs in order, even going as far as making sure her children are provided for should Dad remarry. It’s so sad as we are a very close family, they have been married for 51 years and Dad will be so lost and helpless without her. :(

I learned to let myself rely on other people. I learned not to get so worked up. I learned that if you try to simplify the explanation of what’s wrong with you, people will often assume you have the flu.

I have had more than one. I had a serious winter pneumonia problem as a lad (oxygen tents, do not know if he is going to live, and all the rest) and other things since then, including a congenital heart condition that is going to take me out young due to having no health insurance. The death because of no health insurance thing took a bit of getting used to. When I was a lad, I was quickly disabused of any notion I might have had of my immortality and of any fear of death other than any pain I might have dying.

I guess I learned to not fear death, to not think that I am immortal, and to not really care about death other than leaving loved ones behind and the pain I am going to be in as I die.

Handling a major crisis.

@mattbrowne, what did you learn about handling a major crisis, or learn from handling a major crisis?

@Jeruba – Many things. Here’s just one: handling the fragile nature of human existence.

More than 20 years ago something changed my life (I won’t share this on Fluther) and since then I’ve learned to really pay attention when someone’s feelings were hurt or someone is really in trouble. I know what it means to be in deep trouble and it has made me a lot stronger and more empathic.

I have been taught some lessons, through my journey with cancer, that can be seen as gifts.

I have learned to slow down, watch and listen. Turn off the tv, turn off the radio and listen to the world. Listen to nature. Listen to the sound of laughter and the sound of tears. I can watch the grass grow and truly enjoy those moments, or I can get myself out of the house (on good days) and go for a nice walk with one or both of my children – lately, it’s been my son. I get to see things through his eyes, that of a six year old – excuse me, almost 7 year old. (we’re counting the days)

When my daughter really started driving more, I relaxed. We laughed together when she scratched my car, accidentally, while driving it into our backyard. I laughed first, she was mortified. Then I explained that I did the same thing to my dad’s car, when I was learning to drive. It’s a car, it’s not a human.

I’ve allowed myself to try new things, learn more things and learn about anything and everything that interests me. I’ve learned to accept that I’m strong in spirit, but not quick as strong in flesh and bones – but it’s okay. It’s the spirit and what you imprint on others that they remember. I’ve allowed myself to feel things I would have never allowed myself to feel before. Fear, sadness, complete anger – I always allowed myself happiness and joy – but didn’t see the need for the other emotions. How can one be whole without the ability to do so?

It’s taught me to realize that none of us know how long we have, we are all dying. I’ve just been given a gift. I have the heads up. I know what is happening inside my body. Some laugh when I call it a gift. I explain to them that I have been given the gift of realizing just how precious life is and to appreciate every moment. Appreciate the small things. I’ve learned to truly embrace the things that I love and not to waste time on those silly things we allow ourselves to get bogged down with – not me, not anymore.

I allow myself to cry when I need to cry. When I think of the likelihood that I will not grow old and gray with my husband, it does make me sad. I love my life with him. I want that, I want to be a grandparent with him…I want those moments. However, if they are not mine to have and to share with him, I’ll be sure that I make the best of every moment we have together.

I allow myself the anger and sadness that I feel when I think of this impact of cancer on my daughter and son’s lives. I’m anger that this is what they remember, I’m sad that it has stolen time away from them. I’m jealous of those that will be there with them in the future, but I don’t begrudge them of those people, or any happiness in their futures. I want them to live.

One thing I realized early on, life moves on without you – whether you like it or not. I didn’t want to live in “mourning,” so I decided to live, while dying. It may not be what I thought would be my path in life, but I’m grateful. It’s made me a better person.

@cak-you are one helluva woman; awesome life lessons, you are handling with grace.

@cak: Your answer brought tears to my eyes.

@TLRobinson – thank you
@La_chica_gomela oh! I didn’t mean to make anyone cry! Sorry!

Don’t be sorry. It was in a good way.