what should you do when you're in love with your best friend?

this happens alot, but I have to say sometimes its best. If you do want him in your life keep him as a friend. Most of the time some relationships go south then you would lose your bestfriend and boyfriend.

Know deep in your heart that, at least at this point, he’s not interested. If men are interested, they NEVER give you that friend line. However, you will be able to keep him as a friend, which although it seems like it’s not that great now, is pretty good. MOVE ON as quickly as you can. Don’t waste your time waiting for him to come around. Very likely: he never will. Maybe, if you start dating someone else, he’ll take notice, but if he doesn’t at that point, there’s really no hope.

You have to make a choice. Do you want to risk a fantastic rekationship with somebody you already know and love? Or do you want to maintain a strong friendship with somebody you care for.

I say no risk, no reward. You may lose a friend or you may gain the love of your life.

The same thing you do in any situation where you’re interested in someone, you express that interest, and you find out it isn’t reciprocated. You MOVE ON.

Honestly, is every third question on Fluther going to be some variation on “I love a person who doesn’t love me. What do I do?”

if they are attracted to you, go for it. But operate slowly. You don’t want to send ripples through the water. My advice is a bottle of wine and the movie “mystic pizza”.

You only have one life. Go for it! “I know we’ve been best friends for a while and I really respect our friendship but I’m developing feelings for you and if you don’t feel the same way I still want a wonderful friendship with you” that’s what I’d say. If they don’t feel the same way and are weird around you and become distant, they weren’t really a friend.

You know, if I were approached by a friend and I said “I’d really rather keep our relationship as friends,” and then he ignored that and declared his love for me, I’d probably “be weird” around him and keep him at arm’s length. Friends are valuable; psycho stalkers who can’t separate friendship from romantic love are not. Especially as, if the recent questions and answers on Fluther are any indication, as they’re so common.

When someone’s not interested and says so, that’s a message to decent people that they should BACK OFF and MOVE ON romantically. Why is it so hard for people to understand that?

Cwilbur- of course you would be wweied around them!!! Duh, if they didnt respect the fact you just wanted to be friends and was violating how you felt, then that is psycho weird. If I had feelings for my friend and told them how I felt and they didnt feel the same way (don’t know how that could happen, I’m fierce) then id move on, lesson learned, NO REGRETS. Its not hard to back off and MOVE ON. People that don’t get that need help. Its better to live a life with no regrets instead of wondering if that person mightve had feelings for you back all Along.

Stupid iPhone won’t let me edit weird.

It’s OK. I might be wwieid too.

My point was, though, that the person the querent was asking about has already made his feelings clear: as mentioned in the question, he has said that he doesn’t want to risk the friendship by pursuing something romantic. (This is most likely a tactful way of saying “I don’t think something romantic would work, but our friendship is working well.”) Thus it’s in the querent’s best interest to drop it and look for love elsewhere.

Cwilbur…. How old are you? And what does querent mean? Oh fuck. I don’t have the energy

I’m not a teenager, and I have little patience for high drama fueled by adolescent hormones. I’m not sure any more information than that is relevant.

And “querent” means “the one who is asking.”

Then don’t waste your time answering these questions. Haha.

hah.
wow.
reading that was the highlight of my day man.

I do have to agree with cwilbur. the answer is within your question. If he told you he doesn’t want to risk the friendship by going further, why would you want to put it at risk by pushing it? Continue on as friends only, or you will lose him completely.

I like how everyone has come to assume that I’m a pushy psycho bitch?
hah.

I don’t think you are. Some people can be so stuck up ! Don’t worry about it mssamayray

I didn’t say anything about you being either pushy or psycho.

hah.
alright alright.
the situation is weird too.
its one of those “you have to be me to understand it” kinda things.
but hey.
thanks for the advice guys. :)

Good luck with your friend hun! I hope it works out well for you.

well maybe you think you love him or her but your just lonley and he or she is close so maybe you love him or her like a brother or sister