Do you feel vulnerable if you wear a skirt and heels while out by yourself?

i do.
jiggles pelvis, winks

absolutely. and I hate it.

I’m with @ninjacolin. Of course, this is all hypothetical, as I’ve never been out in a skirt and heels. And in truth, if I were, I think the danger would come from the disgust people felt! ;-)

Where I live, I feel that way anytime I go out alone. Since a stalker incident, I refuse to leave alone at all.

Yes. Then again, I’m a 45 year old man.

Always.

I find that whenever I’m going to a party or meeting up with friends before a party, I wear a coat or sweatshirt over my revealing top and I don’t put on my heels until we get to the party. I would feel extremely vulnerable, probably because it is hard to run away if you’re wearing a skirt and heels.

@KatawaGrey I do absolutely the same thing – when I go out to tango, it’s my usual get up – wide jeans, boots, long big coat, many layers – then when I get to the place, the dress and heels come out, the hair goes up, so it goes.

If a girl would prefer to hide her butt, she shouldn’t wear tight, butt-revealing jeans. But thats just what everyone wears these days. If it was the ONLY girl wearing it like at the marketplace scenario, then yeah, thats vulnerable.

@chamelopotamus: I do agree with you that anyone who doesn’t want to be ogled shouldn’t be dressed in a revealing manner but it’s no excuse to be able to go up to someone and speak to them in a rude and disrespectful manner.

@chamelopotamus Well this all goes back to whether or not a girl wearing revealing clothing is up for grabs by people, as if that’s why people should bother her. I saw this girl today, her jeans were basically painted on, she had a great ass – but you didn’t see me hitting on her, did you?

I think men just love women in a dress and heels. somebody probably knows why.

Easy access.

Totally, you can tell when someone wants to be left alone, and you leave them alone.

@faye That’s all swell and all but that doesn’t mean a woman’s available for pick-up
@davidbetterman that’s just sad
@chamelopotamus I can swear on my kids’ lives to you that my eyes and body language say nothing but ‘fuck off’ and I get hit on and bothered all the day time with the added ’‘oh you’re a feisty one” after which I flip ‘em off and actually tell them to fuck off – this is followed by laughter, pathetic desperate assholes that they are.

Gaa, it’s not easy access if you are first meeting them in the grocery store!

I went through a phase where I felt utterly uncomfortable without wearing my hoodie. And wow @Simone_De_Beauvoir that’s so ignorant of those men! That must be just…an uncomfortable situation to be a part of…

jeeze, @Simone_De_Beauvoir, we just think you’re pretty.

@chamelopotamus: So revealing clothing is grounds to go up to someone and be rude and disrespectful? How do you know if the way she’s dressed isn’t for her job or some other activity? What if it’s laundry day and the only jeans left in the drawer are the ones she had before she gained ten pounds? Geez, what if she’s just most comfortable in a tight skirt and heels? If I’m wearing something revealing, then, yeah, sure, I can’t expect people to not think certain things but to actually say them is just stupid and awful.

@ninjacolin Yeah, why don’t I chill the fuck out? And so you’re think I’m pretty, so what? So that means you’re god’s gift to me at 7 am in the morning and I’m supposed to sit through a cliched conversation about how I might or might not have a husband, boyfriend, whatever? no, you’re getting no medal for this…bullshit..I can tell the difference between genuine compliments and sexist assholes who see through me but not through my breasts

@Simone_De_Beauvoir is right, some people just can’t take a damn hint! They blow kisses and follow you down the street around my way, they’ll walk behind you, try to talk to you, make animal noises…it’s INSANE. I hate it. I used to love living here but now at least half of my neighborhood is sex offenders, and that’s just the ones who got caught and registered. O_O!

@Chongalicious ah yes the animal noises – pathetic…I turn my phone on them, snap their damn faces up and it goes here
http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

@Simone_De_Beauvoir those people just…look crazy. It’s something in their eyes that kind of scares me :O
If I had a camera phone back when that stuff used to happen to me when I went out alone, I would’ve had at least 50 pictures on that website by now to help out VA women lol

I can honestly say I have never randomly walked up to a girl at the grocery store, or even at school, while they’re in the middle of doing something, to interrupt their day and tell them about what they left the house knowing was going to be noticed. I can speak from experience and say that Im on your side on this one. Theres a time and a place. The only point I was making with mentioning that women do wear these tight clothes, is that it would be unfair for them to get mad at us guys for looking.

It’s stupid that a % of men can always be counted on to act like neanderthals.
It shouldn’t be that way but women have to take into account that some men are going to act like idiots and even worse, may resort to violence for whatever fucked up reason.

I wonder if someone’s written a book on how to be a hot girl and not get hit on too much.

@chamelopotamus It’s not just men, that’s why I was careful to use people originally – everyone makes you feel vulnerable – if it’s a bunch of girls and they’re idiots, you feel vulnerable when they stare at you..hey you know what’s my favorite thing is? When I am dressed up and eating a giant bag of potato chips? their eyes almost drop out of their sockets – they’re so shocked that I look this good and am eating chips without caring about how I look at the moment.

@ninjacolin You should write such a book – but the concept of ‘hot girl’ is all about ‘wanted by men’ and therefore it’s very confusing, even for the men, to figure out whether or not their behavior is appropriate because they were taught to think hitting on girls is as inherent as breathing and that they ought to, especially when in groups with other men.

Maybe the book should be about how to be a man.. for men.
Then you can just hand it out to pervy types. :)

@ninjacolin I wish somebody would write a book like that…it sounds silly but really it could help a lot of girls avoid terrible situations… even baggy clothes won’t work for me, no make-up, I feel like I’ve tried everything :(

I must be an odd man cause my version of “hitting on” a woman, if I like her vibes, and I think she’ll be receptive, is to make her laugh, and prove I’m interested in more than her skin. It’s a two-way street for me: to be able to entertain each other. The idea of randomly hitting on a girl at the store, makes me very uncomfortable. I have no precedent for that lol
@Simone_De_Beauvoir lol on the chips

@Chongalicious In fact, some of my most memorable hit-ons have been when I wore all baggy clothing, no make up, nothing..I was working the streets during my job with the Health Department and interacting with grocery owners was the project…so many people would hit on me because I was the ‘snowflake’ in a black neighborhood and various things like that.

Having been hit on a few times over the last 50 years (most recently by a cabbie in January) I never attributed it to what I was wearing nor did I ever feel vulnerable because of what I was wearing. How weird.

@chamelopotamus: I apologize for my caustic response to you. I think that looking is fine, as long as it’s just looking. However, a lot of people think that it is okay to make comments, rude gestures, noises, etc. and this is what makes me angry.

@galileogirl So what do you attribute it to?

No, I don’t feel more vulnerable in a skirt and heels. I used to, but then I realised that some people will be creepy no matter what you’re wearing. They just want a reaction and some attention.

There’s a difference between striking up a conversation with a stranger and being inappropriate. People still do meet in surprising ways. I think the guys in the construction zone are just being jerks among their peers but certainly harassing someone is unacceptable in any context.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: I actually do understand what @galileogirl is talking about. I play a lot of card games and there aren’t a lot of women who play these games so I get hit on a lot because these guys don’t interact with girls much. they are just happy to see a girl. On top of that, many simply don’t know how to talk to women so their default setting is flirt and they have no idea how to do it. It’s not being hit on by a cabbie, certainly, but people always find ways and excuses to hit on someone.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yea, for some reason it got worse with the baggy clothing for me too, I’m the only Italian where I live. The others are well, everything else lol…for some reason when people just hear what counrty my family is from they think it’s “hot” o.O

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s just human nature. Men approach women. It is easier to approach a pleasant, smiling person.

@SeventhSense And don’t even get me started on the construction zone – there is a time in the morning (and why is this always when I have to take the farther away train to work?) that they stand on each side of the sidewalk and there’s about 10 of em (5 on each side) and I have this thin piece of street in the middle to walk on and I literally have to breathe in because all of their conversation starts as soon as I am approaching (or any perceived to be woman) and walking through that feels disgusting to me. And no, I will not walk on the other side of the street – that’s fucked up too.

@galileogirl so why do they approach me? I am not smiling nor inviting.

@KatawaGrey lol no i understand you feel strongly about it, nothing personal. i agree, i could never be that guy. The idea of making others uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I never said inviting, maybe you are more pleasant than you think.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I didn’t say anything about easy pick up. I always feel good in a dress. I spend most of the summer in a sundress, even in the garden. I certainly had my share of construction workers. If you laugh and wave them off, they laugh too. They shouldn’t do it if they know it’s bothering someone but I can’t see it stopping. I don’t think it’s horrible for a man to talk to a woman in the grocery store. Maybe it will be love at first talk. What did he say? Was he rude?

this is JPS, fyi I’m not even really sure “looking is okay” is a good place to start… It can totally not be okay. Eye flirting: cute. Ogling: gross.

@galileogirl I assure you that some of ‘em bother me because I look uninviting. Eh, it doesn’t matter – it’ll still happen.

@faye I don’t want to laugh it off – laughing it off is accepting this as a normal thing, which it shouldn’t be.

No. I can discard the heels and run like hell or poke an eye out with the spike.

@bummer You and I should hang together.

I thought that people dressed in revealing clothes so they would be noticed, and possibly hit on. I do not wish to be noticed or hit on, so I don’t go out in skirts and heels unless required.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
Well you can’t say you’re not somewhat complicit if you know that simply walking on the other side of the street will remedy the situation. Your confrontational stand borders on provocation.

@SeventhSense I am completely aware of this – I stand by my confrontational stance on my behalf and on behalf of so many others. I give them looks of hatred and I want them to notice them up close and personal.

http://www.fluther.com/disc/76908/guys-do-you-hate-it-when-the-women-whistle-at-you/#quip1205945

@PacificToast thats the point i was making originally. Which establishes 1.) That individual in the skirt wants to show off her body, and 2.) She wants to be noticed in a non-predatorial way lol, 3.) Most us guys know that 4.) That individual is still going to keep her eyes peeled for creeps

@Simone_De_Beauvoir
Well just realize that provocation is quite provocative in its elan.

@chamelopotamus wearing an office style skirt and heels is in no way wanting to show off her body. The style of jeans nowadays that you have to shave your pubic hair to wear are much more revealing of body shape.

lol to be fair thats exactly what ive had in mind the whole time ive been using the word skirt. every girl at my school wears these jeans. some wear those overly tight pajama pants, complete with the wedgie. its blatant attention seeking. the annoying thing is when you try to talk to them like a human being and they still feel threatened. I was in the developing room developing my roll of film, with this attractive girl, and when I would make a comment she would go “heh”, or a question “one word answer”. now that was annoying, I haven’t given her the time of day since, though she flashed a few eyes at me, dont care.

Ho
nor

@JeanPaulSartre Well now I have to explain what the hell you’re talking about to the rest of the world – so I was in the train station and you know how girls these days have these horrid pants with sayings on the ass like ‘juicy’ and ‘princess’ and all that…well yeah…so this one butt in front of me had ‘ho’ on one side and ‘nor’ on the other and it took me a bit to figure out that it spelled out honor and then I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop laughing at all the irony in this situation…I mean really ‘ho’ ‘nor’ ...this is Brooklyn, she’s a black girl, smack my monkey and call me a scholar of internalized racism but this was epic awesomeness.

Interesting this should come up tonight. I was just talking with a woman last evening and she was lamenting the fact that she loved to wear dresses and skirts and heels, but it just wasn’t done these days….and she was bitching about the fact that women have put themselves in this position. Not my words, mind you. I was just listening.

Got me to thinking that about the only time I ever see a woman in a skirt or dress is in corporate America. I don’t hit on woman, but I surely do like to see skirts and heels.

@plethora: If it makes you feel any better, I only don’t wear skirts because my thighs rub together. :-P

“smack my monkey”

ROTFLMAO

Thats true its as if skirts and heels are delegated to the workplace. Just last week I saw a girl in a dress at the store, and wondered why I didn’t see more of that. I thought it was very female and refreshing, and sexy yet respectful.

You know I see women in dresses in almost any mall I go to and downtown, no doubt on their way to lunch. Maybe it’s because I live in a relatively small city in Canada.

@faye I’m thinking “Canada” would be the key

What is so unusual about skirts and heels, considering that was the dress code of many years ago? I see it all the time here, both in the office and all over the place. It’s feminine and if done correctly very pretty, sophisticated and smart. Plus is she has lovely legs what is the problem.

At night yeah

@Just_Justine It would seem so, although I rarely see it except in business.

I just returned from 2 weeks ( pleasure ) in Taiwan.

The women in the Taipei biz. district are drop dead adorable, almost all in very fashionable and attractive skirts and heels.

I think these Taiwanese girls were the prettiest women…( and they were ALL stunning! ) I have ever encountered in one place ever! And..no! I am not gay…...just darling women! Tons of fashionable boutiques everywhere…a girly paradise!

Are you sure they were women?

Quite! Very pretty and classy girls!

I received an email about telling the men from the women. They were Taiwanese, I think, beautifully dressed and made up with their hair dressed to the nines and were all men. I don’t know where they put their adam’s apples!

Fuck yeah, especially on a cold winter night….oops keep your mouth shut damn it.

Well, I’d better stick my two cents in, since it’s relevant… I was on a Tube (urban London train) a couple of weeks ago, in my normal gear – jeans, trainers, coat, no make-up, glasses, sitting next to the window and innocently minding my business by playing on my DS.. There are plenty of free seats around the carriage. Some guy sits RIGHT next to me – and this is in full sight at about 6–7pm – pulls out a porn mag and puts his feet up on the seat opposite, blocking me in. I felt sick as soon as I saw the porn but tried to ignore it – I have no issue with porn and I look at it plenty myself, but it has a time and place! He bumps me a couple of times and I assume it’s just the motion of the train, but I’m getting more and more anxious here. Then he starts trying to get my attention, calling me “baby”, “baby”, “you OK baby?” No random s*** gets to call me baby! By this point it’s beginning to feel more than a little rapey so I got up and moved.

My point to all of this is that some guys are just creepy pervs – the way I was dressed in no way “encouraged” anything other than practicality and ease of movement, the whole of my skin was covered bar my face and hands… There are just some people that prey on women regardless, think that they’re game just because they’re female and OBVIOUSLY I’m interested in him and his creepy ways… makes me sick.

I would add that it certainly shouldn’t be the case that women in skirts etc feel victimised, but I have felt this often too when dressed up, even when out with my boyfriend. Men may think that it’s harmless fun etc, but it would serve well to realise that any type of sexual advance or comment from a male stranger can seem intimidating – remember you don’t know the person you are “complimenting” – she may have been raped/attacked/mugged in the past and be sensitive to these things – I have never, thankfully, had any of the above happen to me and yet I am still cautious.

These answers make me really sad to be a man.

@Coloma perhaps where you are from is different, plus the OP that asked the question. Here it is the norm. I guess hot weather brings out dresses, sandals, heels, skirts. Our temperatures at their highest are 45C so trousers are less favoured. You would never see a girl with shorts and heels, simply because it’s a fashion faux par (sp?). South Africans in general are very fit conscious as well as food conscious. Most work out and most are thin. I personally prefer trousers or longer skirts or sarong type skirts for summer. Length varies on age of course. Because nothing looks worse than a mini on a woman over forty I don’t care how fit she is.

It’s a little too cold right now, but when I do, I feel sexy. I sometimes do and then go to meet my partner from work, I think he feels proud that I make an effort for him.

A skirt or dress if fine – really more comfortable than pants. However, heels do make me feel more vulnerable because they restrict your mobility.

Sometimes I really do.

One such time I went to a grocery store in a dress and heels. A very large man approached me while I was grocery shopping. He tried to strike up a conversation. That didn’t bother me or scare me, but he was clearly hitting on me and asking a lot of questions. I tried to be as polite as possible, but explained I was in a hurry. I finished my shopping and pushed my buggy to the parking lot. As I was putting my groceries in the trunk. I turned around and there he was holding his cell phone open.Scared me so bad I jumped. I thought for a minute he had taken a pic but then he said, can I have your phone number? ”

At this point I am in a parking lot, away from the security of the store, and feeling vulnerable. I did the wrong thing. I gave him my phone but changed the last digit to a random number, because I was shaking a little and wondering wtf to do. I was sandwiched between this big guy and my trunk full of groceries and felt a little scared. He walked away holding his phone and said he’d call me later. I got in my car and got out of there quickly. I drove home, without thinking to watch cars behind me. I only lived a couple of miles from the store and it was a pretty straight drive down main street and then a couple of blocks down a side street. I got to my house and pulled in my driveway and noticed a car go by behind me and turn at the next street.. I didn’t think much of it. I started unloading sacks and carrying them to my front door, and opened my front door. I left my front door open and went back to the trunk for a second trip. I was bent over into my trunk and gathering sacks when the car pulled up behind me again. I turned around and he got out of his car. He had followed me home. He was smiling and said he thought he had put my phone number in his phone wrong because it wasn’t working so he just wanted to recheck my number.

Then he wanted to “help” me carry in with my groceries. Sure that would be a gentlemanly thing to do but obviously at this point I was very scared. I lied and told him my brother was inside and was in a terrible mood and it wasn’t a good time. I mentioned my brother was a racist with a terrible temper and I’d rather avoid trouble. This was all a lie. The house was empty. I was just freaking out and trying to psych him out. He glanced toward the open door like he was considering something. He said he would talk to me later and left. True story.

I sometimes feel very happy to be appreciated. It depends on how tactfully it is done. Sometimes I feel scared. Following someone to her car is scary. Winking at her in the dairy aisle might even seem cute.

Please remember sometimes we get scared. It is sometimes hard to tell a psycho rapist from someone who is just smitten.

I carry mace now. :P

@escapedone7 Scary and so common place.

I feel like I live on another planet at times. Or I am in a time warp.

@Just_Justine I’m curious what about what you meant by that?

Well this was in a chicago burb so I would think it may be like a different planet. This might have happened even if I was wearing sweatpants. That is the kind of thing I can never know. Still guys need to find a way to flirt without scaring the pee out of me.

@Adirondackwannabe whether a woman wears a skirt, heels, a bra top or a milk tart on her head is meaningless. For heavens sake, women gain respect from within. Their behaviour not their flipping skirt and heels. Surely all that sexist objectification crap is long gone, down under with the ark? What men make a a woman in high heels is their prerogative not my business. I feel like I am commenting to a 1950’s gazette here.

And vulnerable to what exactly? attack? rape? babies don’t wear heels and skirts but they are raped. I don’t see the logic in this thread at all.

Well my comment has more to do with the fact , no matter what is being worn, some times an assertive man pursuing me can cross the line from cute to scary. In the store people are around, I feel safe. In the parking lot behind my car, I feel vulnerable. Heels make little difference except for how fast one might run away. And yes, I did think I was going to be raped.

@Just_Justine Look at the number of woman who have had guys intrude on their space in a negative manner. I’m a terrible hound and if a woman walks into a room, I’m aware of where she is immediately. I try to be respectful at all times, but I’ve been out with the guys and some of them do not treat women well. If I’m a guy and I’m picking up on this, how bad is it? I agree with your comments, but if it comes down to a woman having to defend herself from a guy, who’s side are the odds on? See e’s answer above.

@Adirondackwannabe if you are a hound that is your problem. What do you suggest? women dress in yashmaks? in order to assist you with your uncontrollable desires? I have never felt I was about to be raped because of what I was wearing. Rape is a violent crime. men rape geriatric women, babies, children and regular women. I doubt it is because of heels? If that is the case all men should be locked in a cage and the key thrown away. I can understand how high heels would make a female vulnerable because she cannot run. But what the heck is she running from? A man who saw her in heels and a skit??

@Just_Justine You missed my point a little. I like to see a woman in skirt and heels. It emphasizes her attractiveness as a woman. It’s the inappropriate response from some males that the other answers refer to. Some men are not considerate of women as people, but see them as sex objects. (I’m going to get it from both sides for this) I can pick up on this so its got to be obvious to the women.

@Adirondackwannabe should I really concern myself of how men see me? If you answer yes to what end? That I become “easy bait” if so they are in for a long run and huge surprise. If it is because I am in danger, I would imagine this same man is a general menace to society and should be locked away. Possibly then he would inflict an injury on a male or female of any sort in order to satisfy his need. What men think is their own issue. What materializes or that which is true of this factor is another matter. I do understand by the way the difference between wearing items of clothing that could make one looks like a “hooker” which she needs to do in order to pull in clients. So to me a women in a skirt is just the same as a regular woman. In everyday wear. If worn in a classy way.

@Just_Justine I love your fire and spirit. Let me take a minute to answer that.

@Just_Justine A guy who can commit rape has no place in society and should be locked up. The problem as I perceive it is the men who don’t have a problem pushing the boundries of proper conduct just because there’s a woman involved. Does anyone else see it this way?

Does anything ever make you feel vulnerable @just_justine? I do feel vulnerable sometimes. I think it has a lot to do with being petite and some men seem so big hunkering over me. How much personal space they are giving me seems to be a factor. If I am in a place with people or alone and caught off guard that is a factor. Yes, sometimes I do feel vulnerable. You seem kind of fierce! I wish I was like you. I think I am a chicken maybe.

@escapedone7 sometimes I feel vulnerable late at night if a noise startles me. I live in the highest crime rate/murder rate country in the world. Hi jacking is common, people get shot in the head just for their car. People break into your home while you are asleep. Perhaps for me a skirt and a horny chap is small fry!

There is a line for me when I get scared.

A guy at a party smiling and offering me a glass of wine, not scary.
Getting on an elevator with a strange man, and he stands real close behind me and sniffs my hair…. scary.

@Just_Justine Ok That put it a little more in context for me.

I was feeling a little like a lion tamer entering the cage armed with a t-bone steak.

@Adirondackwannabe loll

Steak? I’m hungry!

@Just_Justine I liked it.

I think that women should embrace their femininity 100%
Nothing is prettier than a woman in a dress or skirt.
Agreed, others perversity is their issue, be aware of creepy strangers, but NEVER downplay your natural and amazing beauty because the world has some creeps in it. :-)

I dress very feminine EVERY day..bohemian classy is my style, skirts, lacy tanks under an open blouse, lots of sparkly jewelry, cool boots..I never experience creepiness, mostly just compliments for my unique and feminine ‘style.’

Also I have a lot of presence ( confidence) men have told me I am ‘intimidating’ lol
NOT from an attiude of arrogance, I simple exude a strong and self assured image, if anything men don’t approach me for this reason.

They SENSE my strength!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that women do not need to be careful when ‘out there’..just that if you exude an intimidated vibe, well..thats the pheremone that calls in the predators! haha

@Coloma oh thank heavens some one gets it!!!!

I will work on my inner rawr!

Oddly I am not scared of women. I have had rather assertive lesbians hit on me that did not scare me at all. Maybe I have man issues from my past.

Smiling at you awesome women!

A lot of men are intimidated by strong women. I can pick up on that as well. It takes me a little longer to get completely comfortable with a strong woman (I know it shouldn’t) but the end results are much more stimulating.

@Adirondackwannabe *just looking at you gobsmacked loll.

I still remember grocery store stalker’s name. He said it was Ben. What if Ben was a totally nice guy and I missed out on a great thing by being scared? I mean, what if I had a man right now that likes to carry in groceries for me???
Ok maybe not with Ben, but other times I might have let my fear cause me to miss out on something good. I wonder if Ben will ever read this. Hi Ben. Sorry about the fake number. lol.

@escapedone7 well he wasn’t a very good stalker was he? I mean a guy with a name like Ben who carries groceries should have had the tenacity to climb up on the telephone pole outside your house? surely? I am sure he is here and appreciates your apology

Ben’s my fake name I use and I’m a stockboy.

In my experience men will SAY they want a ‘strong’ women..translation…” Be strong & independant so you don’t rely on me too much..BUT…don’t call me on my shit when it shows up, or then…I will call you a domineering bitch! ’

Aaaah…wisdom! lololololol

@Coloma Bi oops

@Coloma indeed @Adirondackwannabe indeed

Poor Ben! I am sure he is somewhere relaying about how once he met this little psycho brunette at a grocery store…

@escapedone7 in a skirt and heels don’t forget sheesh that’s the main part

@just_justine It is?? Does it matter that it was navy blue with light blue pattern on the skirt and heels were open toe with thin straps?

@escapedone7 hell no.. straps?? now we talking murder on our hands

When I was pregnant with my daughter there was the creepiest guy in my apartment building at the time. He always accosted me and wanted to fondle my belly! ACK!

It was so freaky…I had the upstairs apartment and every time I used the toilet or took a bath I imagined him to be having creepy pregnant woman fantasies about me! Ewwwww! lol

that was me, Ben the stockboy.

@Coloma loll, maybe it was your skirt? haha

It was the skirt. How’d you know?

Hey I just broke 2000 points. Now I can pull out my skirt and go to the club, oops your not supposed to know about the side job in drag.

@just_justine Surely you jest. When I go out with my old holey sweatpants with the skid mark on down the back side nobody hits on me. It HAS to be that skirts drive men mad.

@escapedone7 poopy men might?

Does anyone know of a really good stain remover? lol

@escapedone7 well I do .. follow my eyes (”)

Hey guys, that was alot of fun, but I ‘ve got to head out for awhile. Thanks for some good stuff.

What can I say? Women that know who they are and know what they think and know how to express it and who have something to teach me—those are the women I most enjoy talking to. It’s even more interesting if they are different and don’t see the world in conventional ways. If they are artistic in some way or another, there’s a lot to go on.

Now, if such a woman liked to wear skirts and heels, I think I’d be carrying her groceries in, if she’d let me. Although I don’t think I’d ever find one in a grocery store. Coffee shop, maybe. At a dance workshop, maybe. At work, through a friend, wandering through underground caves, yeah. And online, too. These days.

My strong women—and there have been more than a few—haven’t been the kind to wear heels and skirts. Not the real life ones, anyway. Maybe that’s the problem.

In my opinion, skirts and heels say “look at me. See how hot I am?” I’ll look, but I’m going to try to ignore the attitude, unless I know she is much more than that. Then, she might get my sense of humor. Otherwise, she’ll just think I’m weird and geeky. But, basically, if she’s wearing that combination, I’m probably not going to talk to her. She’s in a different league. A league I don’t play in.

But if she’s wearing jeans and boots and a cowboy shirt, and if she’s knee deep in mud working on her truck or trying to train her colt, then she’s someone I can talk to and someone who I think will probably be interesting. And if she’s cleaned up just a bit, and she says something interesting at a talk, or if we’re organizing a political rally or if she’s in an Aikido class or if she has written a book (but none of them in skirt and heels), I’m going to be interested in her.

There’s nothing like a skirt and heels, however, that tell me to not even bother coming near. Move on, man. There’s nothing here for you.

The interesting thing about the internet is that, since I can’t see what they’re wearing, I can’t be intimidated by their sexiness, and, of course, they can’t see my dorkiness.

What about a balance bewteen the two? That is a possibility is it not?

Thats me..I have two modes…either lookin’ really nice or slogging through the mud ‘farm woman’. lol

If you saw me on the street you would be missing out on knowing a very balanced gal, half hippie earth mother, tomboy, renegade creative non-conformist and half pretty, classy, together gal.

I can either turn your head or turn you into a pillar of salt. lololol

@wandayatta would you carry in my groceries even if I have skid marks? Want my number? flirt
Thinking about it, my feelings of vulnerability have more to do with circumstance than clothing. Walking to my car in a dark parking lot is scary. Shopping at a well lit mall with people everywhere, is not.

Right now, I’d carry in anyone’s groceries, as long as they had a crispy, freshly filled cannoli in the bag. I am having a sweet tooth attack!

@Everyone. Wow, I just noticed that I had 131 new responses. Thanks to all of you for answering!

@Just_Justine
“What is so unusual about skirts and heels, considering that was the dress code of many years ago? I see it all the time here, both in the office and all over the place. It’s feminine and if done correctly very pretty, sophisticated and smart. Plus is she has lovely legs what is the problem.”

That was why I asked the question to begin with, Because there shouldn’t be any problem. It only becomes a problem when boundaries are crossed.

I realize there is a gamete of reasons why people get harassed, attacked and raped, not just wearing a skirt and heels. However, I have felt vulnerable (to harassment, attack, etcetera) while wearing this attire and I wanted to get some input from other women that also may feel the same.

I personally enjoy wearing (tasteful) skirts, dresses, and heels, and I would like to learn something about maybe feeling less vulnerable when I do so. That was my incentive behind asking the question.

@MrsDufresne I thought about this quite a bit yesterday while I was on the road. Is there anything women can do to feel less vulnerable expressing their feminine side? I think the answer might be no, because the problem comes from my side of the two genders. I realized I objectify women, which is as wrong as the guys that cross the boundries. Other than great discussions like these or requiring sensitivity training for every person, I don’t know how to address this. I used what I realized yesterday while meeting with two young women and I made sure my eyes stayed locked on theirs, even though both were wearing quite low cut blouses. I got the nice touch to the back of the hand and two beautiful smiles in return. As they drove away the thought growing up isn’t all that bad went through my mind.

@Adirondackwannabe It starts with you and with me and with our children.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir It’s not easy to change habits you just realized you have. I’ve been doing it a longtime, its going to take some work, but I was left with a nice feeling by the two women. I think it’ll be worth the work. The bigger thing is how to get this across to the rest of the male gender.

@Adirondackwannabe :)

@Adirondackwannabe You don’t need to get it to all of them, or even all people – many of us are aware of the conditioning and of sexism and of what needs to be done. Just talk to friend whenever relevant.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I didn’t realize how thouroughly embedded it is in our culture. @Just_Justine It was you that finally got it through my thick head, thanks. :)

Here’s an old photograph to show there’s nothing new under the sun.
I think it’s called Simone in Italy :)...~

@SeventhSense yeah, it’s like that.

@Adirondackwannabe It is natural to be attracted to attractive people. I think how one expresses that attraction is the difference between “objectifying” and respectively enjoying someone’s presence. It’s a simple matter of treating someone else, the way that you would like to be treated yourself.

Thank you for sharing your input with me.

Well then, yes, I do feel vulnerable when out in a skirt and heels.

I get a feeling of being super pathetic when wearing anything distinctly feminine, I feel like I can be easily put down and just generally feel super embarrassed, but tbh I enjoy that feeling so… I love dresses and skirts and tend to wear them daily and when it comes to shoes all I have is heels.

@MrsDufresne People here seem to miss the obvious. Don’t you know why a woman would feel vulnerable in a skirt in heels?

It’s not the skirt I find uncomfortable but I do find the nylons scratchy..~

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. I don’t think a woman is anymore at risk in a skirt and heels than if she was in a oversized sweatshirt and jeans. I believe it all comes down to presentation. A woman in heels and a skirt will be, IMO, more attractive. Just like you can have a $400,000 Lamborghini sitting there with tons of dirt and bird poop on it and it won’t look as good as a cleaned and polished Honda Fit. The Lambo will still be able to kick the living dog s*** out of the Fit but while sitting there the cheaper car will appear better because it will be presented better, polished pain, shined up wheels, Armoralled leather, etc. Many gals have got played out of pocket at frat parties and the likes in jeans and sweater when they got to inebriated to know what the hell was going on around them. So long as a woman is sober enough to participate in her own safety and defense she can shop in a micro mini and the smallest of tube tops and be safer.

Would she get approached more? Maybe, but then again would more people sit down to a meal of prime rib eye that looked mouth watering over a plain baloney sandwich with rough looking bread if they had the choice between the two?