How sane is your mind?

I think I am pretty normal sometimes. Then I will think something or do something and I’ll think “you are one fucked up girl”. I don’t know if it is down to me being insecure or what, but I imagine the most horrible things. I try not to. But say, if I my partner goes to work about 1 minute early, I’ll wonder why. I’m not exaggerating either. I hate myself for thinking the way I do.

Besides waiting for the next life, how I do change?