Imagine if there was such a thing as a "life auditor" and they came to audit you?

I would be ashamed of the amount of biscuits I ate! I think they would say that I need to spend less time on here and that most of me needs some work! But my computer is poorly at the moment, so I take advantage of the time I can get on here.

I would be banned from using ANY couch.

@Dibley ah! there are worse sins than biscuit eating!! @ChazMaz loll

I don’t want to imagine a life auditor. I am hard enough on myself as it is. I don’t need an imaginary number cruncher looking over my activities.

I need to not let strangers in my house.Especially control freaks ;)

I am my own auditor, and I keep myself on my toes. I criticise myself whenever I feel the need.

A life auditor would definitely say I needed some work. And that is exactly why I would not let them in the door.

@YoH loll.

I think mine would be a very long report!

Removed by self.

@Dog erm the point of the question really is “if you could observe your own life from a subjective view point what would shock you into change. Never mind…sigh.

The auditor, if I let him into all of my wacked thinking processes would run screaming into the night.

@Just_Justine Yeah I know. I just needed to vent about those who like to try to tell others how to live. I removed it but feel better.

@dog no worries, how does one remove ones answers? I’ve wished that a few times!!

I think the little life leprechaun would evaluate my lifestyle in song:

Yeh think too much,
Yeh drink too much,
But yer hygiene’s great: Yeh don’t stink too much.

Yeh don’t get stressed,
Yeh love to smile,
But yer To-Do list is larger than yer laundry pile.

Yeh go to work,
Yer grades are good,
You sleep too much and wake with noontime wood. (On the weekends)

Yeh’ve gained some weight,
Yeh need to run!
But yer good at balancing work with fun.

I would give him many thanks, share some coffee with him, and send him off with a raw potato.

GQ – the auditor would say I’ve got a good grasp on many areas in my life and that I need to fluther less, sleep more and go easy on berrating myself.

I wouldn’t even let them in the house.

I would be banned from the computer until I’d tidied up the mess.

He’d tell me “Get back to work!” and “Put a filter on the PC.”

“Mom? I thought you died five-and-a-half years ago. It’s wonderful and nice to see you again. How’s Dad? Now get the hell out of my room; I’ll get up out of bed, vacuum, change the sheets, pick up the mess and do the laundry when I’m good and goddamn ready, just like I have even while you were alive. If you need anything from the store I’ll be happy to get it for you when I go shopping… when I’m ready to do that. We can talk later.”

@CyanoticWasp lol

There is no life auditor, and we have been given no specifications for a life auditor. Therefore, we can make up a life auditor that audits according to any standard we choose.

Frankly, I’m tired of thinking about what other people might think about my life. I have been doing that for far too long and beating myself up for my imagined failings worse than anyone else could possibly do. I may have done and I may yet do things that hurt others, even those I love the most, but I am not a bad person—at least, not in my book. If I didn’t believe in what I do, I wouldn’t do it.

So I don’t know about ya’ll, but my life auditor said I couldn’t be living a better life!

The point was completely lost on all of the answerers.

@Just_Justine I don’t think that the point was lost so much as “kicked around a bit”. My life auditor would mark me down for that, I’m sure. Fuck him, anyway. It’s my life.

@Dog I don’t remember seeing a Mod self-mod before

One would probably question the Nerf gun fights, in my family. There seems to be daily warfare with those silly orange foam darts. A lot of laughing, though.

If my life auditor didn’t like the amount of Nerf time in our house…well, I’d just have to reload and take aim, wouldn’t I?!? :)

This sounds like an excellent story premise. ;)

I think my life auditor would be slightly appalled at my excessive isolation, computer addiction, and penchant for reading novels at odd hours of the night. But I am very devoted to my family and moderately neat. I tend to be a bit taciturn at times. I might come off as a bit aloof or uninterested in other people.

I’m hoping my auditor would cast me as “nice kid, if a bit odd” instead of “lazy useless drain on society, dork”.

@all- I removed my comment before the edit time was up but had seen @Just_Justine‘s response. If I was to change it entirely her comment would no longer make sense so I just put in Removed by self so that everyone would know she was responding to something no longer there. So this time I did not mod myself but I have had to before when I accidentally gave away the secret to an award. ;)

Pretty sure I’d get a thumbs up for any professional aspect and self development, a ‘nice try’ for hobbies/creative outlets and probably a poor rating for eating habits, work/life balance and keeping in touch with family….I’m kind of OK with that.