A question of ego, acknowledgment and perspective. Though appreciative, why did I receive many tributes both public and private for the simple effortless task of reaching 5K lurve, but not a single word for reaching 6K lurve?
I appreciate the thoughts of all who noticed my 5K. It made me feel like we were actually real friends. Thank you.
This is more of a human nature question. What is it about us, as humans, that promotes us to offer more encouragement at milestone accomplishments rather than those which surpass that milestone?
I know it’s just a formal reason to basically acknowledge the progress of others. And yes, that is a good thing for all to be recognized in some fashion. But I’ve often wondered about the validity of doing so when raising our children.
It seems as a child, we are consistently acknowledged, recognized, and rewarded for the simplest of things. Starting from our very first poop. But as life continues, and we grow older, it seems those acknowledgments gradually fade away, becoming farther and fewer in between. Quite often, the older we get, the more we are scorned by the very generation we once congratulated for pooping and spilling milk on our floors.
What gives?
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13 Answers
becase you get an Mariner award and a message in the Community Feed and more people can see the results…its a public milestone… congrats for reaching (6132) lurve
^ What @talljasperman said.
It’s all about being able to notice when a certain achievement has been reached. Also, if we were to simply notice and congratulate every little achievement a person makes, they would become mundane and milestone moments would lose their meaning.
Congrats on reaching 6,126 lurve!
when your an Adult its you who give the awards… It’s just a gold star It doesn’t mean anything execpt to those who still like gold stars…better to give than to recieve
I cheered my mother today for throwing a fork into the kitchen and missing the sink…she smiled
Don’t you think that it’s an issue of what you are perceived to need? We are thought to need more encouragement early on. But you can’t keep on congratulating someone for every poop. It becomes meaningless after a while. So you get your 10k party, and then not another one until 20 k, and who knows when the next one will be. @marinelife will be the first to find that out.
In any case, each milestone must be exponentially more difficult, it seems to me, or else the praise will seem cheap. Now it looks like you think that 5K praise is meaningless because 5K was so easy for you. Or maybe it’s because so many people have been there before you that you think it does not qualify you for attention.
Or maybe you have the kind of self-loathing that makes you think you are worthy of no praise, ever. I like that kind. It’s such fun to live with. I just so enjoy the feeling that sticking an ice pick in my eye would be exactly what I deserve. Odd, no? To feel that way when someone else thinks you’ve done something good.
It’s so easy for me to slip into the trash wundayatta mode. So fucking easy. I much prefer to stay in that state where I feel ok about myself. Where I can actually say thank you when people praise me. When I can even acknowledge, just a little—to myself—that maybe I really have done something worth noting.
Naw…..
If we congratulate each person for each 1K then we’ll make question for that more often. Other people can take the advantage of extra lurve there. And people can someday get bored by this. If you want that tell me!,I’ll always lurve you! Congratulation for your 6K anyway.
OK I agree with all you guys but I think you’re missing my real point which I should have spent more time on… Sorry!
What’s the point of congratulating and praising children if they’re just going to face a world that depreciates them more and more over time? Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Are we teaching them to strive and strive and strive for what exactly… success? In who’s eyes? There own? If it’s their own eyes, then why should we teach them to seek the praise of others?
maybe I should just ask a different question
I’ve reworded this question to address my main concern. Located here
@RealEyesRealizeRealLies You should read Alfie Cohn’s work, He agrees with that argument. He says praise—or rather, too much praise—motivates kids the wrong way. You want to give a little, but eventually you want them to be intrinsically motivated. They should not do things for praise. That’s like working for money. You stop working if you aren’t paid. We don’t want our kids to stop doing stuff, like learning, if they stop getting praised.
Hey, I don’t care about your ‘lurve’, you’re my friend regardless of some silly point system.
I’ll give you extra points for that comment.
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