Why do you want what you can't have so badly?

I don’t want what I can’t have. There lies a recipe for discontent.

Because we get it shoved in our face, every time we turn on the TV.

Sleep

All that I have is all that I need.

Good question. I don’t really know. I’m happy with what I have.

We want what our egos deem to be ‘more’ for a sense of completion.

It is never about the object of our desire, it is about stilling the minds incessent craving for more, more, more.

When one attains the desired object the mind is finally satisfied, temporarily.

When one attains some measure of awakening, self realization the wanting slows down considerably and one is content in just enjoying their beings without the ‘need’ to constantly do, get, have! Not to say that wanting is bad, it is not, as long as the attachment to getting is not about some twisted sense of self fulfillment.

Obsessive and needless consumption is what drives the market forward. The desire for something unachievable is what drives consumption. Our wants are engineered so that we’ll keep buying, and society stays stable in its house of cards.

I want to own nothing at all, actually. And I could have it, but I’m too scared to take the leap.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting what we can’t have. The problem lies in actually trying to attain it.

Right now I want to go on a month-long vacation to New Zealand. However, I know that I can’t shirk my responsibilities at work and home, nor do I really have the resources to do so right now, so I’m not going to go.

It’s okay to want things, as long as one doesn’t irrationally act on one’s impulses.

I want @lucillelucillelucille to stop stealing all my answers!!

Because it’s always nice to dream.

This is a tough one. Sometimes we see something that is irresistibly attractive and we skip the steps where we evaluate our desires in terms of how realistic they are.

Some people have a sense of entitlement that interferes with their ability to accept that sometimes the answer is really no.

We must make sure our expectations are realistic and that is tough when the world and the media suggest that everything is possible and accessible.

We must be able to differentiate between fantasy and reality.

We must make good choices about the goals we set and how we go after them.

Some of us, including me, when the world says you can’t, triggers a powerful desire to prove that we can conquer any obstacle and achieve any goal we set.

If we never evaluate the situation objectively, we may launch into a course of action that may be futile from the outset.

We end up hurting ourselves and sometimes others in pursuit of a fantasy that has no basis in reality.

There is nothing I want badly. I don’t like to attach myself to things or emotions to such an extent.

What I want is a relationship—a certain kind of relationship. My wife and I have been trying to get to that relationship for a while.

But maybe I want to much from her. Maybe she doesn’t have it. Maybe it’s not something anyone can give me. Maybe it is, as @Coloma and so many others say, something that can’t be gotten from outside. It is something that one can only provide to oneself. Completion comes from inside, not without.

I don’t know that trick. All I know is how to not pay attention to the emptiness. Maybe that’s all I can do. But I keep thinking there is a way to have that relationship that makes me feel connected in the way I imagine would make me whole.

@wundayatta

Yes, it is an ‘inside’ job. lol

I have found in my maturity & wisdom that now, I feel a ‘take it, or leave it’ orientation to whatever. relationship, stuff, etc.

Nice if it happens but not needed nor coveted with a sense of lack or suffering if not attained.

It’s a good place to be. :-)

@Captain_Fantasy and @ChazMaz I need a pair of cool shades like those man….But apparently its not the shades that make the man but the man who makes the shades.

So until then my never ending search shall continue!

@Coloma Sounds nice. Not something I can imagine for me. I would miss the physical comfort too much. Without touch, something dies inside me. I stop feeling real or even human (whether real or not). My existence depends on context, and with no context, I am irrelevant. If an important relationship is not part of that context, then I am irrelevant. And if that important relationship does contain enough physical contact, then I am irrelevant. Relationship is everything.

I’m pretty sure there’s research about this—showing the importance of touch. We’re tribal animals. We don’t make sense outside of our relationships to others.

I don’t know..think I make plenty of sense to me. haha

I agree, we are social/tribal animals, but there are other ways outside of relationship to meet the need for touch. I get regular massages, and have plenty of touch with my friends and pets. I just don’t feel I ‘need’ relationship to maintain a sense of self. I am my own best friend. Besides I was married for a loong time, even thoguh it’s been 7 years since I divorced I am still high on that freedom!

I’d like a husband.

It is all part and parcel of the instinct to strive for things. At the basic level, this would be food and shelter, but with those needs met, we continue to look for that which eludes us. For many people this manifests itself in a yearning for the unattainable.

For some, it simply means looking for ways to continue our never ending education and learning process. I will never be able to read every book in the library, but I can try.

I can’t think of anything I want so badly I haven’t already had or is out of the question. My frustration is I know what I like and I want more.