Do men actually feel "love" for women or do they just desire them?

I think men love just as much as women do. We all show it in different ways.

I think some of this depends on the individual. I can certainly think of ‘types’ of men who only seem to be interested in women for all their goodies. However, speaking from experience I know men can feel ‘love’ for women…. I’m not going to get all soppy here about it, I am a man after-all :)

I realise your question is a little deeper than what I am writing here. But my parents were married for I think 58 years. When my mother lost her marbles to a brain op and was in napkins, my father still adored her. He did not desire her.

Yes,they are fully capable of love,just as I am fully capable of rolling over and sleeping after sex ;)

@lucillelucillelucille Perfect answer. I enjoyed that.

@lucillelucillelucille On behalf of the male population of the UK…... Ouch!

Bullshit, I hate stuff like this. If that’s all you’re in it for then you’re doing it wrong.

There are so many frontloaded assumptions to this question, I don’t even know where to begin.

So, short answer: yeah, men can love. Men aren’t a different species. There are some things that are just human.

Like with anything else, yeah i’m sure this is the case sometimes, but it’s far from being the case all the time.

@Dibley and Jeff Vader-Thanks….zzzzzzzzzz….
lol :)

@lucillelucillelucille Hahahaha, another satisfied customer :)

Lust, infatuation, love.

Ya have to get the priorities straight.

@ChazMaz oh youre such a romantic

Always. ;-)

:-*

@lucillelucillelucille You’re welcome.

XD

snickers ;)

To answer the question from a woman’s perspective – and my statement is not all-inclusive, because everyone is different – most of us love first, and then need the maintenance [home, support, wants]. Take for instance a husband cheats – and the wife finds out. She is broken because she needs his love most of all – before the home, before the support, and all her desires. Those things start to fall by the wayside as she focuses on the broken love.

And honestly, it’s the same for men.

The only types it doesn’t apply to are those who are “dogs”, both male and female. [Dog, in this context, is someone just out for the quick satisfaction.]

Everyone has a bit of narcissism in them. Some more than others. I think it has to do with how the person was given love during their formative years that determines how they will be able to love another later on in their adult relationships. In love, it seems one can hardly give what they did not get.

G/Q

Every relationship, friendship, what have you is about getting something from another person whether it be emotional or materialistic. We get together with others because they make us laugh, make us feel good, provide us with support – there is nothing wrong with this as long as you’re willing to love and support them, as well. Men aren’t different from women, they love just as much.

The old saw observes that:
Women have sex with men in order to talk to them.
and
Men talk to women in order to have sex with them.

You can’t have love. Right from the beginning. For both parties.

As much as what you might be feeling and expressing.
It is just easier to see it that way.

That “love’ you ladies want will come easier if you just don’t give it away to any swinging dick you cross paths with.

First you need to get the fleas off the dog. The dog having an itch.

@ChazMaz How can you know what’s true for everyone? And how can you not see how sexist your response is? And also how unfortunate it is for me to be thought of as dogs with an itch. Don’t you want to be viewed as more than that?

Well, at least ob/gyn’s do, apparently.

Woman are a lot more fun to shower with and that is my answer and sticking to it! There is the obvious reason men stick out with their sexless marriages is that especially when retired, 2 social security checks are needed to cover the rent and keep a decent bass boat gassed and ready to go.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m a female and I think ChazMaz is right. I don’t think it’s a sexist response.

“How can you know what’s true for everyone?”
Because it is a biological fact. Not to say, if it goes well, you will fall in love. Once getting past the lust and infatuation.

Then do you say, HA! I was right?No, it is just how it turned out. Lust and infatuation are physiological tools to allow us time to get to know one another. Or we would literally be dogs. Buying us time to get to see if there is a connection. That is why usually after 8 months or so you stay together or go your separate ways.

“Don’t you want to be viewed as more than that?”
Yes I DO. But as a man, I find I have to do plenty of damage control, because of all the “dogs.” And, when it is offered too soon and too quickly. You tend to forget that you are giving it to a person. We all want to be loved and to give love. But that sex screws up plenty.
Better to be safe then sorry.

Don’t get me wrong. I am always falling in “love” right out of the gate.

@Silhouette With all due respect, that doesn’t make it not sexist, but you are of course entitled to your opinion. I read it as sexist (also an opinion) – to think that a woman should keep her legs closed (and not a man) so that a man can love her…please.
@ChazMaz What’s a biological fact? That men only think of sex and fall in love later? Link? Evidence? Proof?

Here is one. but there is plenty of data out there.

Another

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I believe ChazMaz said “For both parties” Nothing sexiest about that.

@Silhouette No, you’re right about that. I was talking about this “That “love’ you ladies want will come easier if you just don’t give it away to any swinging dick you cross paths with.”

@ChazMaz thanks for the links, I know that initially it’s lust then love…I had a problem wiht you saying it’s only like that for men. The article itself says ” Moreover, men and women can express sexual desire toward those for whom they feel no obsessive attraction or deep attachment.”

Everyone can feel love. To love and be loved is something we all need. We inherently need a mate, someone to love and be loved by, someone to be a witness to our lives.

@thriftymaid feeling “love” is nice, but I also like to feel a little T&A.

I can’t tell you how much I love women. I’ve loved quite a few in my life, mostly in a platonic way, but also as a lover. I actually much prefer them to men. I like their greater levels of empathy, and more cooperative way of organizing things. I like the way they sound and look. And yes, I like the differences in their anatomy that give rise to so much pleasure.

Women inspire me. I do my most inspired work—whether music or writing or dance—when I am trying to “speak” to a woman. Women make it easy for me to open up my soul and say the things I really want to say. Women don’t scare me. I trust them to be less judgmental. I don’t compete with them. It’s easier to trust women.

Women seem much more appreciative of me. They enjoy it when I cook for them, or when I work with them. They are supportive of me much more than men. I’m sure I could go on and on. I get this feeling of excitement in my chest, just thinking about this. I enjoy women. I enjoy their company and I feel more alive when I am around them.

I sometimes have a desire to judge myself for this. Perhaps I am a traitor. But to what? Men—too many of them, anyway, don’t get it. It would be nice if they did get it. Then maybe I’d trust more of them. But so far, not so much.

One of my friends and I have this friendly little duel going on about who can cook the best pie. We’ve never actually had a taste contest, since we seem not to decide to make a pie on exactly the same day. Which reminds me that rhubarb season is coming.

So there’s always this glint of devilishness in his eye when we compare our techniques and results—who is really the best cook? All the while knowing that we can’t have a winner here if we are to keep things light and fun.

I don’t think that would happen with a woman. With a woman it’s obvious that we’re all on the same side. With men, there’s always that underlying tension of competition—even when we all have these cooperative values.

So yeah. It’s not just desire, although my desire for women and the love of women is also huge. It’s love and companionship and, don’t tell the guys, ok? I think women are, by far, the better sex.

I prefer the company of men to women, so no I would not want to be stuck hanging out with chicks all day, everyday.

I can only speak for myself, but I loved my wife deeply, much more than I love myself.

Thanks for all your answers. From the responses I received, it appears the ability to love is unique to the individual and not the sex of the person. It is, in my opinion, the same for most attributes of humanity. All men are not dogs. All women are not users. Are there men that are dogs? Yes. Are there women that are users? Yes. Personally, I believe that all humans crave the affection of another human, even the “dogs” and the “users”. I think some have difficulty finding that affection, for whatever reason and find other ways to fill the void, thus aquiring attributes that give them the appearance of not needing or wanting love. Admitting you need love and not having it is painful. How much more wonderful life would be if we could live it without fear. I am happily married to my best friend. He is willing to admit he loves me. He doesn’t have that macho image that prevents him from showing his sensitivity. I love him for who he is and not what he has to offer. I enjoy his company and talk to him about everything. This environment is so much better, for me, than a past experience I had with someone that was so “tough” he didn’t need anybody or anything. It’s nice to be needed.