Do you support your partner/SO to friends, family and in public even if they 'goof' now and then?

I don’t like at all when my husband does or says something that makes him seem unsupportive or condescending to me in front of others. What bothers me most, is he is a wonderful man, and it is almost like he is more sarcastic in front of others, than in private with me. As a woman, I think we, or I will talk for myself; I, feel awful if I am perceived as tolerating an asshole SO. So often we see women who stay with abusive men, and I would hate for anyone to think my relationship is abusive, or that I would put up with that crap.

For the most part peole tell me how wonderful my relationship is with my husband, so I guess this comes through, I guess I am just overly sensitive to it.

As far as watching others. If two people bicker a lot, but that is just their schtick, and it seems even back and forth, I am not uncomfortable. If anyone seems actually very angry, or that one is trying to demonstrate pwer or control over the other person it can be uncomfortable.

@JLeslie
I totally get and agree with what you say about not wanting others to perceive your SO as being like that all the time or looking on you with any sort of pity.

@Neizvestnaya Interesting, I don’t think of it as pity, I think of it as people perceiving women like that as idiots. I am not saying I think they are idiots, I think it is very complex.

I’m with you, @Neizvestnaya. It makes me very uncomfortable when other couples are arguing or shouting at each other in public. Sometimes, in my neighborhood, I’ll see a woman walking down the street, followed by a man maybe ten feet behind her, and they’ll both be screaming at each other in loud voices about whatever aggravations they have with each other. I think the body language is even more telling that the words, as the woman marches stubbornly forward, face set, and the man is chasing after her, trying to argue his case.

I guess I feel like they are taking up public space with their incredibly negative energy. They are also publicizing their marital or domestic problems for anyone who cares to listen and to many who don’t, as well. It’s just plain rude, in my book.

My wife an I keep all our disagreements behind closed doors. Not even the children see them. It’s probably a pretty uptight WASPy thing to do, but that’s who we are.

@wundayatta I think it’s great that you don’t subject your kids to yours and your wife’s arguments.

We have each other’s back no matter what. In fact, we compliment each other in front of family and friends. we’re one of those sick, cutesy couples

It wouldn’t even be a question.