When you tell a person who doesn't drink that he or she should drink, do you actually mean that?

If I were to say that, it would be tongue-in-cheek. It would probably be a code for “lighten up.”

I would never say you should drink in order to become a drinker. That wouldn’t be nice or helpful. It wouldn’t be respectful of your preferences. Of course a lot of people don’t care about that, or they would want you to drink in order to validate their choices.

I rarely drink, so bars do nothing for me any more.

It is a way of saying, “join in or get out.” Or IT IS “humor” in a soft truthful way. Knowing that if you do not join in you will probably, eventually fall away.

No fun hanging out with drinkers if you don’t drink. They might be “funny” but it is not fun.

Sounds like a pretty annoying thing to say to someone. If you weren’t religious, nobody should tell you that you should be. I think people sticking their nose in your life choice is wrong and you shouldn’t really heed anything they say.

And I say this as a Scotch-Irish with a pension to scotch whiskey.

I haven’t been in that situation, but I have been in situations where people try to tell me how I should think. Don’t let anyone try to change you. You are you. If they can’t let you be how you are then they are not true friends. Change for no one.

Drinking is usually a fun social event (for me anyways). If I were to tell someone they should drink, I’d mean that they should go out with me and a few friends and have a good time. Nothing more.

I have had people pressure me. I absolutely do not drink at all for a number of reasons. Mostly because my doctor has told me I should NOT mix alcohol with my medication, and there is even a warning label on the bottle. On certain occasions, like at somebody’s birthday celebration, I’ve been told I need to lighten up and have drinks pushed at me. I think they might see me as a stick in the mud if I’m not drinking too. I usually fill a glass with soda or water and carry it around just to have something in my hand. I think the drinkers are uncomfortable by someone who doesn’t join for some reason.

I was told that, back when I didn’t drink at all (didn’t have my first sip of alcohol until after age 23). I rolled my eyes at them. It was an idiotic thing to say. There is no one on earth that “should drink”. There’s nothing at all wrong with having a few drinks on occasion. Not even anything wrong with getting drunk off your ass once in a while. But to say that someone who chooses not to “should drink”? That’s just plain stupid.

@escapedone7 Definitely true. Drinkers like company. On most occasions I’ll have a beer or two, which is barely even a buzz for me. I don’t mind being around sober people. However, usually the people who want everyone drinking are either really drunk or are going to get really drunk and don’t want to feel embarrassed for being a drunk, because most of us know that we’re making asses of ourselves, even when we’re drunk. To them, having sober people afoot is a buzzkill.

@ChazMaz I almost agree. It’s no fun being sober if everyone around you is drunk. But just going out with friends, and those around you are having a couple? There’s absolutely no reason you can’t have fun with them while you’re sober and they’re a tiny bit tipsy.

If the point of the evening is to drink-to-get-drunk, then I agree. If it’s just hanging out with friends and some of them choose to have a drink, there’s nothing prohibiting enjoyment of the evening for the non-drinkers.

“those around you are having a couple”
Totally agree, as long as it is a couple. Wine with dinner is another example.

But the question is, “When you tell a person who doesn’t drink that he or she should drink”
Those people are looking to party hardy.

@ChazMaz the phrase “drink” is obviously ambiguous. You are equating it to “get wasted”. That’s one perfectly valid definition. Another is “not be anti-alcohol”.

This is true.

But, in the topic the words alcohol and booze are used. Those products are to get a buzz.

I do not believe the question was about staying hydrated.

@ChazMaz & @MrItty… This question is open to interpretation as it’s about what YOU mean by things like this when you say it, if you do.

Thank you both, along with everyone else, for your insightful answers, though. I appreciate them. I’ve pretty much decided that it’s because it’s way of validating their choices and/or because they want company based on these answers.

@AnonymousGirl Thank you for the clarification. I have never and would never say that to anyone. When people said it to me, the impression I got from them is that they meant “You should renounce your stance against imbibing any alcohol whatsoever”. I felt it was a stupid thing to say then, and I continue to believe it’s a stupid thing to say now. My decision to not drink alcohol was my own, and it did not impact my friendships or my ability to have fun – other than statements like these that they would make. If there was an event at which getting drunk off your ass was the main focus, I chose not to attend. There were plenty other social outings where that was not the focus, and I enjoyed myself with my friends at those outings.

@MrItty You’re welcome. That makes sense. Well, the people who make these jokes or comments aren’t bad people. They’re just drinkers I happen to be friends with. It also could just be a joke that I need to lighten up at times when I actually really do. It’s also been suggested to me to smoke pot to deal with my issues. I’ve been tempted to start smoking as well, which isn’t really all that great of a thing to be tempted with. I don’t really think any of these choices are healthy, though. In fact, I feel that they might make my problems “worse” for some reason. I’d rather straight up deal with them as soon as possible so that they are out of the way when I’m older and I don’t have addictions I need to “curb” and “correct”. I would much rather my money in the future if I have a family to go to food rather than drugs, alcohol, and/or cigarettes. I’m not saying everyone who does these things are addicted, but I’m not willing to take the risk at this moment in time. I have addictive tendencies, especially when something feels good, so yeah.

I have not nor never would suggest to anyone. More times than not when someone has said that to me or I have heard to articulated is when that person needs a drinking buddy or wants to continue drinking and these same people are often problem drinkers.

I’ve never said that to anyone and no one’s ever said it to me, I can’t imagine how I’d take except to look at the source.

I’ve never said that to anyone, and I don’t see why I ever would.
I guess it’s so that people don’t feel left out, or maybe they wanna lower you to the same level of social and intelectual mediocrity as them. Who knows.
If you don’t wanna drink, don’t, fuck the pressure.

Also, I’m a raging boozehound.

I don’t know why people say that. I’ve wondered if they just don’t understand how you can have such a good time without drinking.

I would neve tell someone that they should take up drinking.

I don’t drink either and it really bugs me when my friends tell me I should drink more. I think that is just their way of saying to loosen up, and have a fun time. I do, however, smoke marijuana sometimes…. and I’ve told some of my friends that they should smoke with me lol.