How would the world be different if men had a menstrual cycle?

There is a “MANstruation” joke in here, somewhere.

I think about this… about once a month! It is very hard for me to describe my pain to my boyfriend (I have abnormally severe cramps). I read that severe cramps can be compared to labor pains. Now could you imagine if men had to also deal with labor pains and birth?! I think all men would be on birth control, or have their tubes tied.
I do think men would “cry like little bitches at the pain”. I don’t know if they’d have a paid week off, but I do think they would take would take the week off.

I suspect we’d barely even notice….. being such strong & pain resistant creatures…. also we never bitch or moan, even when we have real cause…. not like the ladies ;)

@JeffVader LOL whatever

Nothing would get done, we’d all be sat around drinking wine and eating chocolate :-)

I think the pharmaceutical companies would very quickly find a cure for all the pain and cramps, and employers would very readily accept absences from work if the males had any pain due to the ‘time of month’.

There would be alot more murders ;)

Rise in crime rate.

Tampons would be covered under FSA plans, and/or could also be included as a medical expense towards tax deductions.

Men would have to carry a purse at least once a month (I got that idea from the other recent question about men with purses).

@JLeslie Couldn’t we just convert a cigar case into a Tampon case?

Men will less likely to pee.

Idk, but boy would that be funny : )

@JeffVader .. oh and you would notice. lol you men are so strong and all that. i would like to see you give birth. you would cry for your mommy.

Babies would have to be very tiny, or ouch!!

@Grisaille Love it. ROLOL

@JeffVader Not a bad idea. Yes, I guess you could. But, that is kept in a jacket pocket I would guess, right? So in Florida (I lived there for many years, so my brain kind of thinks in terms of hot climate) they would have a problem, because they are in shirts and pants. Summer months anywhere would be a problem I think? Or, can you keep the case in you pant pocket?

Just thought of another one. For a few days out of the month their junk will look bigger because of the pad and they will have to make a special front pocket for those days,
Also tampons would definetly be out of the question!

I think the human race would probably devolve into the Morlocks. Think about it male tempers + female irrationality gone wild = breaking things faster than we can build them.

I feel like the technology for dealing with periods (pain relief, bloating, pads/tampons) would evolve speedily. If men had to deal with the issue, you can bet they would be investing money in order to make it less of a hassle, stat.

There would be a lot more sex. Husbands and wives would eventually bring their cycles together so they could comfort each other during that time. Other people would go to “time of the month” bars where hooking up would be de rigeur. Purely for medicinal purposes, of course.

What? Come on! It’s as good as any other hypothetical ;-)

Not on my bloody watch it won’t.Blood coming from my cock,i’d need counselling.It would be like an exorcism “the power of christ compels you.”

@ucme LOL…....you were the first to say it so bluntly. That was so funny.

People who think there would be better medicine and tampons, what/how would it be better? You can stop your periods for months if you want with the pill. Do you really want to take a bunch of drugs for a few days of discomfort? The majority of people can cure the pain from cramps with ibuprofen (I know some people suffer a lot, and need stronger stuff).

Can you imagine Joe Stalin with PMS? Can you say “mushroom clouds”?

…..actually this conversation has made me realize WHY men are in most positions of power….Im sure women could do just as good a job, HOWEVER I guess a mans emotional state is far more constant and stable than a womans…

…you see some of these men consistently make bad decisions

…women would only make bad decisions 25% of the time :)

I’m also highly skeptical that there would be better medical solutions if men had to deal with menstruation. If you haven’t noticed, catering to women’s needs is HUGE business. Just look at how many breast centers and women’s heath centers hospitals have, do you know of any “mens health centers” or “prostate clinics?” Sure there’s urology specialists but it doesn’t get the same amount of energy, attention, and marketing that women’s health issues do. I’m calling bullshit on this one.

Women would lose their “free pass” to behave like Tasered banshees one week a month!

We would just make it into a sport.

PMS coupled with massive amounts of testosterone? Oh lord, the fights. Add alcohol to the mix and imagine the bloodbaths at the bars on Friday and Saturday nights. Add anabolic steroids to it and you’ve got yourself a meelee!

yeah, I’d imagine most men would just cope with it. Although, I’d be really worried if I was all of a sudden bleeding from my penis for a week at a time.

Puts a whole new twist on pissing for distance.

@Grisaille MANopause, per se?

Guys wouldnt be able to handle the pain of cramps. Or even less the pains of giving birth. They would probably die or something.

There would definitely be Period Leave enforced. A Lot more wars, more jail inmates, Personal Hygiene classes, I mean look at that five day old burger under the bed? The mind boggles.

@Just_Justine yes, it does. Boggles and reels, holding a hand out to the wall for balance… ;-)

@Just_Justine Go look in your comments

At great personal risk I’ll post what I asked Justine: Ladies, we men are miserable bastards to put up with some of the time, Do you really want to add that to the equation?

@Adirondackwannabe Speak for yourself. I am never anything but sweetness and light!

@Adirondackwannabe interesting take there. I mean if we are talking even tempered females most of the month, what is going on with men when they are “like that”? All twisted up and nasty and rude! and emotional??

@Just_Justine I don’t think I’ve ever met an even tempered female, so I don’t really have a baseline for comparison.

@Adirondackwannabe Hmm what can I say? stop hooking up with chicks from the psychiatric ward?

I actually was watching a show yesterday where a girl asked if guys had anything comparable to a period and said that it wasn’t fair. Frankly, I feel bad for guys during their puberty, they have embarrassing voice changes, and don’t they get boners easily in public. I think I saw some sex ed video about that.

Gloria Steinem’s take.

I think men would develop a whole new level of insecurity. They’d be emotionally confused and become engrossed in attributing it to their jobs or the health of their romantic relationships. I imagine something like this, “it’s occured to me because of my heightened emotional state that my feeling for you aren’t what I thought at first and I need to take some time off to assess myself and why I feel about you the way I do…” There would be retreats for men to escape to during their periods, therapists would boon, more men would be getting massages and pampering themselves, children would be expected to walk on eggshells during dad’s special week, how a partner reacts during the man periods would become an issue of irreconcilable differences brought up in divorces, cheating and abuse would be expected to get more leniency. Also, men would get all weird about their physical self images, avoiding their partners and questioning their attractiveness and desires because of smells, goo, bloated bellies and tender breasts.

There would be a lot more vikes in the medicine cabinet.

I would have to bitchslap them for crying and acting stupid! Haha because I sure know I don’t let that crap affect me >:) so no crying you little ninnies!!!

I think Gloria Steinem sums it up quite well:

“Men would brag about how long and how much [...] Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. (Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of commercial brands such as John Wayne Tampons, Muhammad Ali’s Rope-a-dope Pads, Joe Namath Jock Shields – “For Those Light Bachelor Days,” and Robert “Baretta” Blake Maxi-Pads.)”

Can you imagine a man sniffling and asking “Do these pants make me look fat?”

@Trillian No…it’s do I look fat in these sweat pants? —what do you mean I do??? “Argghhh”<<Her jaw reticulates as she swallows you whole>>

@tinyfaery yep, she did it better than any of us could.

@Cruiser Slurp, smacks and then wipes lips delicately with the side of my pinky. “Uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrpp! Ahhhhh!”
Smiles, looks around. “Aaaaalllrighteee then.” Rubs hands together. “Now where did I put that box of chocolates?”

Industry would have to invent ultrathin Playtex tampons that fit into the ostium urethrae externum.

@mattbrowne stop thinking like a man! rather put a menstrual cup on it!!

@Just_Justine Couldn’t we just lounge around clamping a hot water bottle to our stomachs, scoffing chocolate like it’s going out of fashion?

@JeffVader loll, I am scoffing more than that my friend.. chomp chomp

@JeffVader I prefer ice cream myself..

@j0ey Mmmmmm, Haagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s? I’m right with you there, love ice cream, especially now Cadbury’s has been sold to the yanks….. :(

@JeffVader haha I actually like soy ice cream….i dont like the thought of something being made out of the secretion of another animal.

@j0ey Hahahaha, when you put it like that, nor do I :) So whats the taste difference then? Never tried soy icecream before.

@JeffVader I really like it…If you like soy milk then you will love it. So Good vanilla bliss is the best :)

It has a bit of a nutty flavor I guess.

HAHAHA i find it hilarious we are discussing our favorite ice cream varieties in a thread about men having a menstrual cycle…you really have stepped into character haven’t you.

@j0ey Hehehe, it is a little ecclectic isn’t it :)
But then icecream’s a serious issue & needs to be discussed…. my favs from a little Cornish Company called Kelly’s, they make the most amazing mint choc chip!
.... but I’m not the head of catering!