What the hell do you do with yourself after a break-up?

My longest relationship so far has been 2 years. And when it ended I just put all my energy into compulsive exercising, partying way too much (with too many people), spending too much money…It wasn’t until 3 or 4 months later and I had completely burnt out, had destroyed my health and lost all my savings that I had to think about how much it hurt, and how alone I felt.

In other words I am not the best person to give advice on this topic….

All I know is that I wish that I SLOWED down, and took the time I needed to think about, and FEEL loneliness it in the beginning, instead of filling the void the break up created with meaningless crap that wasted a good 4 months of my life….

BUT your “break” doesn’t sound permanent…and if you miss each other, there is no reason that you shouldn’t see how it goes again. After 3 years with someone, I think you both deserve another shot at it.

thanks @j0ey I appreciate that you took the time to write your thoughts man :)

no worries @chamelopotamus

I’ve always believed that being ‘on a break’ is just euphemism for, broken-up. & from what you’ve written it seems that’s how you feel too. I can fully understand your desire to do something to mark the anniversary… except of course, it’s not an anniversary anymore, & anything you did to mark it would be more of a wake than a celebration. You need to start getting used to being alone again, which isn’t easy. & probably explains why so many people end up with new relationships on the rebound. You need to take your time to become an individual again. Re-discover your personal interests, have plenty of you time & this will pass soon enough. Its only been 3 weeks after-all.

I’ve never “been on a break” but I generally believe you have to begin the process of emotionally moving on regardless or you’ll realize one day how much time you wasted on a minuscule hope. My previous boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks before my birthday and that was hard because it was a day I thought we’d be sharing together. I’d been thinking “oh what’s he going to get me?” and it was hard but necessary to realise it was over. I know it’s awfully lonely after a break-up but that’s part of the process.

First of all, let yourself cry. you have lost somthing that ment alot to you. And then as they say “time heals all wounds” as hard as it is to believe, this is true. Remember the good that was there, and learn from it. Just remember to let yourself feel.

Get up, take a shower, get dressed and move on. Nothing else you can do. Life has its ups and downs. If it doesn’t work its probably because its meant not to be. If everyday life was already interfereing in your managing a relationship than that means your relationship wasn’t strong enough to weather the storms. Moving on was the best decision you both can make. Now you both have the opportunity to meet someone who can help you through tough times, rather than see each other a chore.

Not to be rude or insensitve but get over it, Not sure how old you are but you have plenty of time to meet someone else who will make you forget this girl even existed.

Hey – I broke up with my girlfriend of 7.5 years and can tell you that time does heal all wounds. Similar to you, we found that we just weren’t right for each other. And as much as an a$s that I feel that I was to end a 7 year relationship, it was for the best for us.

Where I find that my story intersects with your’s is that you’ve both come to that mutual understanding. This is important. I still talk to my ex, almost at least weekly, and have dinner at least monthly. That’s the new relationship we have, and we both have new significant others.

The moral of the lesson is – if you truly loved her, you always will love her. And that love might continue to grow after the relationship dies. I love my ex like a best friend.

To the point of your story – I agree with the others in saying time heals all. Your steps are simple:
1. Find out if you truly aren’t right for each other. Once you go through this, you won’t do it again – so make sure you get it right the first time.
2. If you aren’t – break up with her. It’s time to start crying, listening to the sad songs, etc. Look up the stages of going through death, because that helped me a lot to see what I was going through.
3. Get out there. I did what Joey did. I gymed it till I lost a lot of weight, I called the ‘single again’ diet and exercise plan. And I partied every weekend. Don’t be excessive. But once you get yourself out there and realize that you’re still a wanted man – you realize that you’ve got choices.

Hope that helps. Remember – take the time to think. It is important that you think.

FYI: I took a break from my ex when she got a new BF. The day we got back to being friends was 4 months later on our ‘8th year anniversary’. It was a special day. We had dinner, she told me all about her new life. It marked a new beginning. You spent 3 years loving this person, getting to know this person – why throw it away because 2 people out of a few billion – weren’t right for each other?

Good luck.

When I had my biggest breakup, I bought a cheap guitar at a pawn shop and learned to play. It filled a lot of time with something worth while. There are a lot of songs about breaking up, so I felt like I had company. And later it helped me meet new women. A win all around.

@Idknown and your new significant others don’t care that you’re still speaking to eachother weekly, even going as far as to see eachother?

@Lothloriengaladriel It was an understanding that we wouldn’t be able to date those that won’t be able to trust us. This was something we told them prior to starting our new relationships.

I always build my relationships on trust. If I can’t trust her, I won’t be able to stay with her. And if she doesn’t trust me – I also fail to see the point.

It is my understanding that if there is a will, there’s a way. Better I tell you I’m going to see my ex, than you finding out through someone who saw me at a restaurant…

@Idknown thats true, ok thank you. (:

here is how i do it:
– clean the house get everything of hers out
– clean yourself shave your balls, or buy a new scent, just do something to renew you
– reconnect with friends go out, go do stuff, have fun w people who love you
– get busy at work/gym get a new routine, kick your own ass, perform
– lots of nsa sex tacky but true: best way to get over a girl is to get under another

wow you guys are great, I really appreciate your responses, thanks :)

I eat all of my favorite foods, destroy most things that remind me of the person, get a new haircut, new clothes and get over him getting over me.

@unique LOL….shave your balls.

So next time I’m with a guy who has shaved balls I will know that this will be “NSA” sex hahaha.

Stalk them, of course.