NSFW What is the appropriate level of excitement for normal long term sexual relationships?

The appropriate level of excitement for anything long term, is very low-level. But certainly not boring. Not boring at all. But not exciting either.

As it seems like it should be, with occasional peaks. Constant excitement is a sign of trouble, except in the beginning. I’m not saying things should be this way, i’m just saying this is how things tend to be.

“Appropriate level of excitement?”
That is the least sexy statement ever. Don’t ever say those words to a woman you want to get with.

With all due respect @Kraigmo I disagree.
I have found that with the right person the intimate excitement increases with time. I realize not everyone experiences this though.

:( I am happy for you Dog. Maybe this is what I should hold out for even though it will hurt to change things.

@Dog I’m with you on that. Back in my wild-oats sewing days, I tried going to a prostitute. That was the most unsexy thing I’ve ever done in the world of eroticism. I’d far prefer to just masturbate. It was so mechanical and contrived. When you have real intimacy and caring and share little secrets that no one else nows, that to me is the “appropriate” level.

It depends how much effort, and how hard you work to make your sex life exciting. If you and your partner do the same thing every time, it will get really boring, really fast.
A couple can’t just do missionary every time. You both have to put in effort to switch it up too. If only one of you is putting in effort, both people will be let down.
Here are some ways to keep your sex life exciting (please note: not all of these suggestions are for everyone)
Toys: dildos, vibrators, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, butt plugs, anal beads, male anal toys (including prostate massagers, and strap on dildos), the butterfly or other remote control vibrators
Bondage: wrist and ankle restraints, gags, blindfolds
Sexual acts: anal sex, rimming, stripping, lap dances, male anal, sensual massage
Multiple partners
Other ideas: sex classes, costumes, role play, sex furniture

I’m confused.

If your orgasms have become like sneezing…whats the problem again? lolol

@coloma it’s become like reflex. It is a mechanical function more than a loving fusion.

I see. I guess my allergies are coloring my perceptions…..lol

I was thinking lots of sneezes…hahahaha

I tell you what, if your sneezes were like orgasms, that’d be something.

@bob_ I think you are on to something there. hahahahhahahahahahah

@JessicaisinLove Bless you ;)

PANCAKE!

It’s a different kind of excitement, for sure. Just like people change, relationships change over time naturally. Fortunately, all that changing means that things don’t get too boring (and if things don’t seem like they’re changing, you’re probably not paying enough attention). When things change enough, it can be like the first time all over again. It’s really quite nice.

And if your orgasms are like sneezes, you’re doing something wrong. ~_^

The only thing that happens when I sneeze, is I pee a wittle bit. I suppose it gets worse each time because I pee more and more with each sneeze.

@cyndihugs Now, are we talkin’ blueberry pancakes? Strawberry pancakes? Or just plain ole’ pancakes with syrup? Or perhaps, hold the syrup. A side of bacon? I gotta know the details.
* waits patiently. *

* waits impatiently *

Dude! Where’s them pancakes at?

@Vunessuh oh my! It’s a pancake buffet. You can add all the details you want to your special pancake. They all come with a free orgasm, though. ;)

@cyndihugs Hot damn! Give me 3 with everything. Also, 2 pancakes with syrup XD

@ETpro Yeah….you got it!!

@dog. I agree with your statement. Things keep getting better with my lover everyday. He’s my world.

There is no one answer which can possibly apply to most people, let alone everyone. If suspect that anyone who thinks in terms of “approrpriate level of excitement” has a pretty low level of excitement. Experiencing sexual desire is not a self-analytical process. If your partner makes you sweat, pant, squirm, and bounce your bones then your level of excitement remains undiminished, may even increase over time, and is nonetheless “appropriate.”

Appropriate? Normal? Should?

With those ways of framing a romance, I’d expect the passion to steadily decline.

The most positive sexual partnership I ever had lasted only four years but it never did become routine to me even though we had sex nearly every day, we thought the wrangling and orgasms were a celebration to our lives.

@Violet—multiple partners?