[Rated PG] How do you determine your sexual/sensual ethics and boundaries?
Asked by
prolificus (
6583
)
March 21st, 2010
from iPhone
[This discussion is Rated PG. I ask responses be suitable for a general audience.]
When I think of my sexual/sensual ethics and boundaries, I think in terms of mutual respect, preventing harm to self/other, honoring my spiritual/moral belief system, and the practice of pleasure. I do not believe in operating from a shame-based system. I think human sexuality is a beautiful gift and experience. Yet, I think everything has its place and some things need to be evaluated critically.
We each have our own value systems for evaluating sexual/sensual ethics and boundaries. How do you determine your limits and practices? How does this affect how you perceive/judge the limits and practices of others?
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12 Answers
two rules: no socks and clean sheets between partners.
beyond that…it’s gotta be consensual and humiliation doesn’t get me hot.
re: judgments…i try to avoid them.
Consent between the partners is my one rule.
I figure if she’s screaming like a banshee then I must be doing something right.
My Mom who was quite progressive gave me two rules that she had established for herself as regards to sexual matters. I’ve found they work well for me, too, when I’ve applied them.
1. Never do anything with someone who doesn’t like you for yourself.
2. Never do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
Respect yourself and your partner(s).
Trust in yourself.
Never do anything your partner(s) do/does not want.
Keep an open mind. You may not like the sound of something, but it could turn out to be amazing.
If you are truly not interested in something, or too uncomfortable to try, make sure you inform your partner(s), and stick to your guns about not doing it.
Set a safe word, where, no matter what is going on, at the use of it, everything stops. (Aris, for example, cannot get past the word ‘no’. If I say that, he stops, and we talk.)
Put your partner(s) desires first. Unless you pick a bad partner, it will pay off.
When finished even if just for the moment show appreciation to your partner(s). Rolling over and going to sleep is not appropriate.
Once you have tried something, then you can say you do not like it. If you have not tried it, say so,and say if you do not want to. Lying at that time is not a good thing. Ever.
Don’t ever be afraid to show your partner(s) what pleases you, and listen as they tell you the same. or watch them, visual cues tell a lot Each person is different. What works with one, may not with another.
Believe in each other.
@Keysha Bloody bravo, and not just because you are my wife. Any member posting that would get the same. I shall see later if I can come up with some to add to that but that is for a more caffeinated state and no clue if I can.
@Arisztid I only know what you have taught me. Shows how good of a teacher you are.
@prolificus Your statement explaining the question is my philosophy to a Tee. I wouldn’t edit out a word of it. Mutual respect, no coercion or permanent harm done. Pain is even OK if it’s desired and is the “hurts so good” kind.
@MacBean Keysha and Arisztid… sending people into diabetic comas for 6 years and counting…
No crackers in bed. Anything else is fine.
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