Do you adhere to the "No romance without finance" school of thought?

I’m broke so I’ve developed the mentality that money doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I can’t expect something like money out of someone that I don’t even have myself.
I’m not attracted to money, but I am attracted to people with goals and ambition. The deal breaker for me would be someone who is lazy and refuses to work. Sounds cliche, but I couldn’t be with someone without hopes and dreams. As long as they put in the effort to achieve their goals like me, it doesn’t matter how much they have in the bank. You fall in love with the person, not their bank account. And you make it work for the both of you whether struggling financially or not.

Money matters. No one wants to have to struggle financially, so why voluntarily get with a person who is already doing that?

I make my own money. I don’t give an f.

@Vunessuh I have a dream…
@Facade What if you were doing well, financially speaking?

Yep I’m with @Vunessuh too!! perfectly put!

@bob_ Then it would come down to why the other person was broke.

@Facade Say he lost his job, or maybe his pay simply sucks and he has to squeeze every penny to make ends meet.

I grew up seeing enough broke men sponging off women on my block. The last week of any given month was when there’d even be more than one man around who wasn’t the landlord, the law or the postman.

I’ve made my own money since I was 15. I have goals. I want a fellow who has similar values, so, yes, it’s the why. Why is he broke? I don’t think anyone wants a lazy, trifling layabout who expects a free ride, male or female. Hell, I myself have always gone dutch on dates exactly so the man would see that I wasn’t trying to sponge off him. Sponges are for liquids, not relationships.

@bob_ I don’t know. Rather than date illogically and then complain about my relationship later, I try to avoid difficult situations. That would be one of them.

@aprilsimnel GA for saying “trifling” lol!

Money, or the lack thereof, is a predominant contributing factor in a stressful relationship.

Money matters to me, but it’s not everything.

There are things I want to be able to have and do in life, and having a partner with money will help me get those things. When I was dating, the other person’s income and future earning power was important, but it wasn’t above kindness, comparability, sense of humor, chemistry, etc.
That being said, I would never be with someone I didn’t madly love, no matter what kind of pay check they get. It’s important to me to have both true love and financial stability. But if I could only have one of the two, I’m picking true love.

@Vunessuh Great Answer. <high five>

I agree with @aprilsimnel. Men who just hang around to sponge and pretend to have feelings for a woman are dirt. They should be dragged through the streets and thrown to the crocodiles.
Women who allow this behaviour need some therapy and self worth training.

I’ll date anyone, and happily make my own money, but I’m certainly not going to marry someone heavy in debt without a prenup.

@elenuial That seems to be a popular position.

Money has never been the end all be all for me. When my husband and I began dating, I was in college, and we both had jobs..enough to pay our small bills. Then we added kids to the mix…oh boy. It’s a different ballpark.
I’ll admit it’s extremely stressful when we go through financial hardship, but I notice that we’re the closest when we’re the poorest lol. Money brings about different sorts of arguments (like what it’s spent on, where the priorities lie.)
But, I’d say no. Love supersedes money.

No I am like my parents whom loved each other for who they were full stop.

They were married for over 58 years and I asked my mother just before she died what was the secret of their long marriage to which she replied “Oh he was so good looking” loll.

Never heard about this school. In marriage the couple operates as a single financial entity.

I will admit that money does matter, but my perspective is more nuanced than “no romance without finance.” If a potential partner has a small income, my evaluation of him depends on why he doesn’t have much money. If, for instance, he is a student or works at a low-paying job, but he lives independently and shows financial responsibility, I’ll take that into account. But if the person has profligate spending habits, then there’s not much potential for a relationship. I’d rather not get mired in their sea of debt with them.

You love who you love, and that’s all. If you marry themeven partially for their bank account, well…..you get what you paid for. I’ve seen questions about how to capture someone’s attention by spilling a drink on them, how to play aloof and hard to get, and this one that just will not DIE already.

At what point do we stop with the damn games and say, “You know what? This is me. You may or may not view me as the pick of the litter, but dammit, I work HARD to do the right thing, and I want someone who can appreciate that. Some days I will make it, and some days I won’t. And it isn’t always reflected in my bank account, either. If you can accept that, come with me. If you don’t, no hard feelings, but I’m moving on.”

@bob_ My love is not bounded by economic class, but I’m poor enough that I can’t afford to support more than me. Of course, just because I’m into rich folk doesn’t mean any of them are into me.

Actually, now that I think about it, most of my long-term relationships have been with people whose families have money… Maybe I date upward? Maybe I act rich? Maybe it’s because I don’t have the dollars but people with higher SES find me attractive that explains why I’m not married and have 400 babies.

@elenuial Could be.

By the way, when I said “popular position”, I was referring to the “we want prenup! we want prenup!” part of the song XD

It’s not so much money as it is financial compatibility. You need to have the same perspective on money—earning it, saving it, spending it, or you will do nothing but disagree.

@elenuial My husband is Mexican, but we will only ever have two children. Did I date downward?

@phillis It depends. The richest guy in the world is Mexican.

@Facade – Honeeeyyy, you know “trifling” is the only word that works for some of these people out here.

@phillis I was really really confused about your question for a while, except that it was snarky. I think you think that I think poor people have lots of children and was making some sort of bad joke about it? If so, I wasn’t… I was referencing a bad internet meme. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs

Or, you know, there’s the race thing, but if that’s what it’s all about, I’d rather keep that in the question about race.

Mostly, I was just poking fun at myself.

Having someone that is financially stable does matter to me, or at least is trying to become stable. I believe in the 50/50 concept.

funny question for me! I used to make lots of money but now I make nothing- my husband makes it and supports us all and he’s fine with it. just have all the house work done when he gets home lol

I believe that romance should trump finance, but none of the __professional__ ladies I date can see things my way—always cash in advance.

@Blackberry I’ve been wondering about you. Good to se you back!

@Trillian Thanks, just enjoying the sun since it showed. I started going to UoP too.

@bob_ Yeah, I know! My husband never let’s me forget it :)
@elenuial I guess we were going after the same humor! The Mexican stereotype is that they have a ton of kids (we only had one together). I think my Mexican is broken. Bahahahaha!! Should I ask for a refund, or a replacement?

@phillis Did you keep your receipt? If not, I’m afraid que ya te chingaste XD

@phillis Just buy another until you get the results desired. :)