What about the urge to just be dead?

I feel like I’m there quiet often…Like life is just one big waiting room.

Thats mostly because I am excited about the unknown though, and I dont let it hold me back from doing anything here and now…

BUT sometimes I find myself looking at elderly people and thinking “I dont want to wait that long.”

Maybe i think this way because life is hard? And I’m assuming death will lead to something easier…But what if it doesn’t…I guess the joke will be on me then haha

I’m there. I will let you know how I get out of it if I ever do.

I should probably talk to my doctor.

God, yes.

I learned that eventually, it WILL pass, if I can just see my way through the misery to the other side. Though I cannot truly feel the words when I am in the midst of depression, somewhere inside me, I know that it isn’t just that the good times never last. The bad ones don’t, either (or else there would never be good times). Sometimes, when the emotions take over, logic is my only friend. And even he is off in the distance.

Usually I just wish I’d never existed in the first place. However, yes, the thought does cross my mind on a regular basis…. although differentiating between that thought & other similar yet more destructive one’s isn’t always that easy.
I’ve been there for quite some time & don’t really see an end to it.

No I have never been there, I cherish every day, and live life to the full. I know I am fortunate to feel this way. I love life.

You know, on the flip side though…I would hate to be one of those people that was scared of dieing, or loved life too much. You would always be under so much stress and would be so worried about crap like the “swine flu” BS…. I think wanting to die a little bit is a healthy thing, and lets you relax when youre jumping out of a plane.

I lived there for many years. Sometimes it catches up with me and covers me like a smoke I can’t see through or out of. I’ve learned through, that it doesn’t last. Unfortunately though that doesn’t help at the time because when its actually happening, while you are in “that” place, it makes the positive things you cling to in life disappear, all be it temporarily. My breakdown was caused by several people I loved very much, family, and I haven’t been able to repair the damage they did. All I can do is live my life one day at a time and follow the advice given to me by a wonderful nurse, to “fight the battles you can win”.

What stopped me from killing myself, and I tried once, was hubby. I knew the pain I would cause him, and I love him too much to do that. Sometimes when I’m in my bad place that hurts me, that I’m forced to go on with my hellish existence to spare him pain, god i hate even typing that, but its what it does to me, makes me selfish. I assume the reason I haven’t ever done it is that I love him with so much of myself that its more than the part of me that wants the pain to stop.

The bad feelings pass though, sometimes it takes longer than at other times but it does pass. Find something/someone you love so much that they make life worthwhile honey, even the bad bits, and find a good dr who’ll listen, mine is amazing and isn’t too free with the prescription pad. We need more drs who listen.
hugs xx

My divorce put me there for a few months. But the closest I came was when I herniated my back. 3 xrays and 2 MRI’s and the Docs couldn’t figure out why I was in so much pain. After 2 agonizing months of that I just didn’t want to ever wake up again I genuinely had lost the desire to live. My 7 month old son kept me from ending it.

Living in limbo, I think thats my permanent address.

All kidding aside. I hope you are ok. maybe there is someone you could talk to about this. Say a close friend or relative. In any case keep your chin up.

I don’t know about actually wanting to be dead, but sometimes I don’t like it here and don’t want to be here. I usually snap out of it in a day or so.

If you manage to get out, try not to let yourself go back. But I think you may be clinically depressed. If so, get some help, it’s not a good place to keep hanging around in. Or else, maybe you’re just spending too much time living in your head. Become more involved in life. Read biographies of all kinds of people, to see what people have experienced, and how they got through. Find enjoyable things that you’ve never tried before—art, music, sports, dance. Learn to look for interesting things in other people. If the people you hang with aren’t supportive of finding a good way to live, find some better people to be with and care about. Give up the cynicism of being negative as a way of life. It may seem the realistic way of living, but it’s not. Life is a mix of good and bad. If you’re always negative, you may miss the good parts.

And I speak as someone who has been there and got out.

Actually, if your depressed I can see how you may want to die, but people who love life and live it up everyday have less of a fear of dying and growing old because they’ve had a good life, and that’s how it should be, keep your head up, life is to short to question it, just enjoy it.. Find the fun in everything no matter how small :)

I have been there, and often. I’m not over that.

Have you been there? Yes

How did you get out? Time heals all wounds. As long as you use that time wisely.

I’ve felt like that since I was about 27. I feel like an old lady who would very much welcome death were it to occur, but I would never kill myself. I deal with this every day of my life. Even though my meds are stable and I am basically sane, I would still much rather be nonexistent.

How do I handle it? Day by day and small little treats to myself. Or sometimes big treats. Distracting oneself is the key.

I understand the feeling too well. (hugs).
I am getting all the “professional help” I can get. Does that make everything go away? No. But I don’t know what else really to do. I try to meditate, consider what I have to be thankful for, but overcoming some things is not easy.

I’ve been there – I needed medication to get out.

Me, too. I agree with those that say time and meds get you out. I think I’m lucky, because I was down there for maybe three or four months. Then I started slowly swimming my way up. All the while, I never believed I would make it to the surface. In fact, it was over a year before I made it to the surface.

But some people have been living down there for years and decades. I have no idea how they survive. I know I thought about suicide, but I was always clear to myself that I wasn’t going to do that. But I thought about it so much.

It’s kind of ironic. Every time I go down, I feel like it’s my fault. But when I come out of it and look back, it doesn’t seem like it was my fault. It was just chemical and the meds brought me back alive. What’s weird is that sometimes I feel like I want to be where it can’t get any worse. I think it has to do with the hopelessness of it all, which lets me give up and just make things as bad as I can.

That never works because there are too many reasons to try to be well. It does make me feel guilty for wanting to give up. But sometimes giving up helps. When I no longer take on all that responsibility, then I don’t have to worry about things any more. I guess sometimes I need to stop caring and stop being responsible. Sometimes I am too tired, or so it feels. I never give myself a break, though, except when I’m ready to die. Maybe I should give myself a break a little sooner, so I don’t have to go so deep. What a scary thought. I don’t know if that is possible. It’s so, so hard to give up. I feel such guilt. But maybe it is necessary to learn how to do that.

I have never thought about being better off dead. . . .

I would rather pass on in my sleep…. No tragedy, no agonizing illness, just plainly stopping to breath. With sleep apnea, that’s not so unreal. I have dozed off on the couch numerous times while watching tv or even at the movies not knowing what had happened. and I always told myself that I just got back from the dead. . .

No, I’ve never been there.

I understand the feeling of needing to just not exist; to just stop having any interaction with people or humanity or anything. I know what it is to just want to stop life, and fade out.
When I get those feelings, I go down to the DMV office. Totally scratches that itch.

Until I got good pain medication I lived in that zone. I contemplated how my kids would deal with me gone, but now I’m interested again.

I understand what you described, and I think yes I have, but it seems every time I leave one episode of shit, I seem to forget a lot, just remember things in vague pictures. And somewhere in these vague pictures I see that.
But what I do know is that I’ve spent a lot of time wanting to get away from this plane of existence and to go ‘back home’ (which I guess is different, because it still involves existing in some way). However, the process of leaving, I am scared of and wouldn’t know how to go about it…
I remember when I was younger, I told myself when I got to a certain age I would have to die, before anything else could get me, like it would be the easiest way to get away from here, but even then, the actually act of it, I knew would be hard to actually do.

Have some compassion… :)

Sometimes I think about that, and I don’t know if it is the same thing you mean, but I think about shutting myself off emotionally, not reacting to the things happening around me so they can’t hurt me, even if it means sacrificing the joy in the process. Emotionally deadening myself, so I exist rather than live. I don’t know if thats what you meant but it is my take on it.