Why does my bf sometimes forget to call me when he's out?

There are numerous reasons why he didn’t call. Chances are he was just having a laugh with his brother.

Without meaning to sound rude, he was probably enjoying himself and it slipped his mind. I don’t think they realise how much it hurts and it would be nive to just have those few minutes.

Oh boy. Yeah, think about it. He knows you’re waiting to hear from him. He’s out and doesn’t call. Where are you on his list of priorities?
Yeah.

Would you really be satisfied with a one minute good night call or do you have to tell him what you did all day and how you missed him and…?
Sometimes it is late and he just needs to get home and go to bed. You should too.

Nothing is guranteed. There are many reasons why he didn’t call. Some may be bad, some may be good. Sometimes people like to have fun though as adults without having to check in like a kid.

Honestly I’ll never understand most men’s answers to this. A lot of women understand how I feel…I mean we talk every night for 5 years it’s like a “tradition” for us to say goodnight. And when something out of the ordinary in a relationship happens you have to question it

Oh gawd. I hate these – “You must call me every night.” rules.

My gf tried to pull that one on me. I learned from my ex – this rule sucks.

If I want to call you – I’d call you – and you’d be happy because I thought of you. When you make it a rule, a habit – it takes the value away. Now I’m not calling you because I missed you, I’m calling you because I have to, trained to. Don’t you feel loved? :P

Save yourself the trouble and don’t have this stupid rule.

Also – if you can’t trust him – then break it off. You’ve been together for 5 years – I think there should be some trust there. If not – take a break. You don’t expect him to be away and not make any friends right?

I dated my ex for 5 years when she went away. When we broke up at 7.5, she told me she was tempted, but knew that I trusted her, so she stayed true to me. I stayed true to her. Trust is important.

Lastly – tell him he sucks for not calling when he said he would. Tell him he doesn’t have to call every night, but if he says he’ll call – you expect him to keep his word. Tell him you were worried for his safety. You don’t want to make it look like he’s only calling you to help soothe your mind he’s not cheating on you (because let’s be honest – he could call and still be cheating on you). Don’t be a ball and chain. Be a proactive force in his life and show him the value you bring by being there.

He’s out without you. Why would he call? You’re already aware of his situation.

If you don’t like it…

I think one thing every girl has to eventually realize is that guys are DIFFERENT to us.

If they don’t call you when they say they will, or they don’t reply to a text message that doesn’t really warrant a reply, it doesn’t mean that YOU are not important to them, it just means that the phone call and the text message aren’t important to them at that moment.

I’m pretty sure when girls call a boyfriend or get a message from them we strongly associate that with them…after all we are great communicators/ talkers. But I’m pretty sure a message or a phone call for a guy is more JUST communication, and if it can wait until tomorrow it will.

People forget to do things. People chose to do things. Sometimes, people can’t do things. Fact is you don’t know which it was.

Bottom line, trust is a fundamental part of the relationship as are consideration and communication. Don’t tell us how much you dislike his lack of consideration, tell him, don’t assume he knows or understands, explain it. But if you don’t trust him, you’ll find yourself in the same boat sooner or later.

My question is why you have a policy of him calling you every night. I mean it sounds sweet and all, but sometimes you just don’t get a chance and that’s OK.

Of course, I have problems with long distance relationships, particularly without some real commitment. Five years is a long time, but you’ve been apart over a year, you aren’t married, and you’re having what sounds like some jealousy issues. I once spent five months in a different country from the girl I was dating and thought I was going to marry. My friend who went with me said we should have broken up before I left, that I was being stupid. Of course he was wrong. Well, until she cheated on me and dumped me for the guy she cheated with while leaving me with the international phone bill from all those nights she had to talk to me. I’m sure that nothing like that will happen to you, but I am convinced at this point that a relationship that can survive a year and a half apart is very rare. Hope yours turns out to be one of them.

idknown, thanks for your answer that was really good. But like I said he was usually the one that ALWAYS called me every night and I just got really used to it over the years…

Look, this isn’t hard to figure out. If you want him to call you, then ignore him. Guys like a challenge, and a girl that constantly throws herself on a guy will drive him away. Just ignore him for a week and give him something to chase. Try it, you’ll absolutely love the attention. It’s simple.

@chelle21689 People go through a lot of things in the course of 5 years. To assume there will be a guranteed constant in life is asinine. Think of a bigger picture: one trivial phone call missed will not matter.

He didn’t forget!

@Snarp I spent 1 year away from my ex. We broke up later :P.

It’s not too hard with trust and genuine love.

@chelle21689 I think it makes sense.

Also – don’t get used it things. Constantly move and change. It’s not healthy.

Why are you apart? For how long?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies YES…exactly…treat em mean keep em keen lol

Because you aren’t always on his mind?

These are the things that come with long distance. I live with my girlfriend and I still forget to call or email once in a while when I say I will.
When you are in the moment doing something (whatever it may be) it’s not hard to forget about something else, unless you have an alarm set for it.

@mrrich724 Which brings me to a second point…. have an alarm for everything :P.

So how should I handle this? Just wait for him to call and not tell him that it bothered me?

Why? Because you allow it.

“I mean all I wanted was to talk for a few minutes ”
He should respect that.

“Last night he was at his female friend’s house”
Slapping my hand to my head. Hey, you said “female” not just friend.

So what do you want me to do? Tell him he’s not allowed to have female friends and hang out with them? I don’t want to be tooooo controlling…

@chelle21689 HAHA but you DO!!!

Like I said – don’t be a ball and chain.

Find something you’re passionate about and keep busy. Tell him like I said – that if he says he’ll call – you expect him to call. You like a man that keeps to his words ;).

But find a hobby, some TV – keep your mind off this and busy up your life so now HE has to fight for your time.

You are in a relationship, not a friendship.

You are both together because you love one another and RESPECT each other.

Don’t get manipulation and respect confused. Who you are and how you feel is either respected. Or what good is any of it. Otherwise be friends with benefits.

And like I said, YOU said female friend. My question there is what does she have that you don’t?

If i were you, i would be looking at was this just one occasion, or is it repeated every time he goes out? if it was just once, i would chalk it up to he was having a good time and did not think it was a big deal, or it got too late and he thought he would wake you. if it were every time he went out, like every week, occasion after occasion, i would get suspicious. there is no “rule” that he has to call you, but if it is a pattern that you guys are in, and then he deviates only under certain circumstances, i would get suspicious, especially if on those occasions you tried to call him and he did not answer his phone, yes, i would wonder.

Just paint your own wagon @chelle21689. Make that wagon big enough to carry as many with you as you like. Roll that wagon your way, on your path. Join others if you like their path. Invite others to join your wagon if it suits you. Those who don’t like your path are free to leave at any time. Make your wagon and your path a glorious adventure for you. If it is truly a glorious adventure, then many others will want to join you along the way.

The BF will question who’s wagon he’s on and why. Just go on without him and watch him tag along. He will, I promise you. People are weak. They need leadership and they can’t carry the burden of additional weakness of others. Show them strength and watch them flock to you. Just go. Go now. Your life awaits you.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I have no idea what you just said, but I like the way you said it.

I think you need to tell him that this is important to you and ask if he can explain why he’s not doing it and if he can do it… start doing it… if he can’t you may want to ask yourself why you’re with him xxx

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies – I get it. And, I like how you put it.

Hopefully both the wagons are going in the same direction.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Damn good answer.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Well said. Advice I had applied to my life and let slip. Time for a fresh application. Thank you.

He’s cheating on you and it must be true because you are thinking it! One thing I have learned is to always trust a woman’s intuition . ;)

this happens with my boyfriend all the time. i don’t know your boyfriend, but in my case it’s because he’s the most forgetful person in the world. i wouldn’t read too much into it, i don’t think it’s anything more than him being absentminded. it happens.

to much thought and imagination on this question, just ask him what happened

“it’s because he’s the most forgetful person in the world.”

So he forgets to turn the key, when starting his car?
Forgets to wipe his butt?
Forgets to swallow, when eating?
Or put clothing on, when going out?
Forgets what sports or hobbies he likes?

It is all about WHAT IS important. Everything else is just an excuse. ;-)

yup

Like i said. He didnt forget!

I’ve had this talk and it went something like this.

MAN: “You know how I feel about you, you know I’m not up to anything bad and sometimes I’m caught up with stuff until I think you’ve already gone to sleep and I don’t want to call so late because I can’t decide if I suck for waiting too long and it’s best to just not do it at all or if I do call super late then I’m going to get attitude… so I don’t call”.

I’ve walked out of the house leaving grown men who were playing video games and come back 12hrs later to find them still playing video games, not having heard the doorbell ring, not having showered, done laundry, answered texts, given animals food or water, etc. Weirdness happens, hopefully not to often though.

if it were just once, i would say he forgot. if it’s a pattern, then it’s suspicious, given the circumstances (girlfriend far away, going out with friend who is a girl, not answering phone when called). just my opinion.

@Neizvestnaya IJ like that answer. It’s funny b/c that’s what guys do. When I was ten, my mom would be like what did you do all day. The time goes bye. I sat and played games.

When I was in college. . . someone asks what did you do all day. I hung out with the boys. . . It’s really easy to get lost in time for a day or a weekend.

You wait up for hours? Doesn’t it SUCK, being that dependent on someone else? You’re sending yourself on this painful, hours-long journey over….a non-existent phone call? This level of pain, fear and trepidation is normally reserved for someone going into life-threatening surgery or some shit, NOT for testing your boyfriend’s love for you. The days of knights on white horses rescuing helpless maidens is a myth, honey. It’s not real life. Hike up your skirt and grow a pair.

By the way, I have to say this…...it’s a test that you know he is going to fail, because you already said that he “forgets” to call you every single time. Yet, you send him through the guilt grinder, anyway. You’re setting him up to fail! That’s not a very nice thing to do. Maybe the reason he “forgets” to call you is because he is excited to feel the freedom he experiences with people who don’t have such spiritually crippling expectations.

@mrrich724
There have been days off when my SO leaves the apt. and I lay in bed fluthering, eating napping and not much when lo and behold, it’s farking after 10pm! Did I text or call? Nope cause I assumed he assumed I was at home… doing things. Ha.

It’s just that last I heard he was going HOME being dropped off by his friend who is a girl…and haven’t heard from him since. I just hope he has a really good explanation and it be the truth. I haven’t heard from him all day at all, no phone call. I feel like I want to break up

Thank you everyone for all your responses, they have helped me a lot. He ended up texting me from someone else’s phone and told me he’ll call in a bit….I just hope I don’t get let down on another phone call of him not keeping his word. Anyways, I’m still a bit mad why he hasn’t contacted me sooner but I should be happy he thought of me

Well, he’s preoccupied.

“but I should be happy he thought of me”

Is that what you call it?

@ChazMaz : i call that grasping at straws.

@chelle21689 you really do deserve better…everyone deserves to be called when they are told they would be, whether it’s by a boyfriend, mother, friend, sister, lover… it’s disrespectful and I wouldn’t stand for it. If it is important to you (and btw: whether or not you are too dependent on him is a different matter I think) then he should respect that. All the best xxx

Briefly stated, after 5 years, if he fails to do something that small to ensure your happiness, “he’s just not that into you.”