How can I get rid of my weirdo radar?

Hang out in places that YOU would hang out in on a normal day when not looking for guys. Looking for guys in places where guys are also looking to hook up, all you will find are d-bags. When hanging out in places that you enjoy being, two good things will come of this (maybe). One- You will find a guy who is also hanging out in this place with no interest in hooking up, so his guard is down & he left his perverted pick-up lines at home. You will also see how he acts/dresses as a person, not as a d-bag looking to score. Strike up a conversation with him & thats easy because you already have an ice-breaker which brings me to number two on the good list… You have something in common! You like the same place. Already the relationship is off to a good start because of a shared interest. My recommendation for a possible hangout, your favorite aisle in a bookstore. You will find someone intelligent, well read, & possibly has the same books as you. (He may also be gay, not many straight guys in book stores) Hope this helps. Good luck!

make sense. talk logic. normal guys relate to that.

PS: wtf are “froo- froo” boys please

lol froo-froo. hey I’m normal! and I have lots of normal friends you can talk too!

If it’s tattooed on yer ass maybe, you’re showing it too fast. Just a thought.

I have the same problem. It’s because I’m a freak too and at mating time, I give out freakomones instead of pheromones.

“froo froo douche bags leeches…” what world do you live in is my question

I see we’ve skipped that whole “I bought you dinner and drinks, now you owe me” part :)

Usually the first one’s in your face telling you how wonderful they are, ARE the dbags. The nice guy is somewhere in a corner thinking you’d never give him a chance or something. Just pass the players up, hold a palm to their face and keep walking toward the nice guy. He will be happy to see you.

Learn to ask the right questions up front. What do you do? Have a job? Live with your mom? Do any drugs? Any restraining orders out against you? So, do you have good credit? Any goals in life? Have you been tested for STDs?

They hate me. Hey maybe that’s why I’m still single.

I

have no job

wanna know why? (it’s not a trick question)

You won the lottery? Retired? Became disabled? The strip club you owned went out of business? How am I supposed to know?

@Futhermucker No. But I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway :)

yes fennris?

pleas take your time

@Futhermucker : stop multi-posting please, it’s impolite.

The big question, tamkli3, is: who are you and what do you consider normal?

Culture norms are as relative as they are varied. Normal for me is canadian cyber-goth furries that love nature hikes. How about you?

Whoo hooo!

well to answer your query Fenris, nothing quite so dramatic as being cyber-goth furry, although I do enjoy a good ol fashioned nature hike

as for what ‘normal” is, who am i to judge?

apologies for the multi posting, I’m self indulgent at times

@Futhermucker I thought you said in your question about turning right that you are a trucker. Or do I remember wrong?

I did say that and it’s true. What’s your question madam?

oh, you’re wondering how I can have a lifelong career yet be unemployed tonight?

I don’t think you have a “radar” at all on your head. Life just has so many needy, misguided people these days for loads of reasons, perhaps you just give them the time of day. Others might not. It is probably less to do with you and more to do with them. But at least you are aware. It’s how you react now that is important.

A fishing metaphor…

You’ve decided upon using a particular type of bait to lure a catch. Not for me or anyone else to judge your bait. The fact is, you’ve decided that this bait will work for you. Fine.

If you don’t like the catch from the particular streams and ponds you frequent, then it’s time to either change the bait, or better yet, change the streams and ponds you frequent. There’s an entire ocean of good catch out there. They just might not be swimming where you are. If you can’t bring the fish to you, then go to where the good fish are.

@Futhermucker I’m flagging your comments as distracting to the OP. Please consider being more direct to the conversation at hand.

[mod says] Let’s get back to the topic at hand, folks. Off-topic posts will be removed.

@Futhermucker Check your PMs right now, please.

@Realeyesrealizereallies had some great advice.

You asked for tips how to spot an undesirable early on.
If somebody is making you feel really uncomfortable, makes you feel toyed with, makes decisions for you, doesn’t respect your feelings or healthy boundaries, lacks empathy for others, is blatantly rude, ignores polite requests for him to stop, all of those might be early warning signs.

@escapedone7 ;)

Radar? Radar detects, you seem to be implying that you have a weirdo magnet attached.

The thing is that unlike with magnets, with people like attracts like. If you only attract undesirables, maybe you should look into the mirror.

I’m with @DarkScribe here. What signals are you sending? For example, are you displaying tattoos and then getting angry that you are attracting tat fans? Are you drinking and then complaining you find drinkers? Going to Church and only finding Bible thumpers?
If you want a stable guy with a job, you should have one of your own. Do some charity work. The nice guys do.
Habitat for Humanity is a great start. You will learn skills, get exercise as well as meet good people.

You have encounterd the problem that many women have. You are not attracting wierdos, you are repelling the normal types. Why? Unrealistic expectations as to what is normal. Think carefully about what @DarkScribe said.

The type of fish you catch depends on what bait you put on the hook. What are YOU doing to attract the weirdos.

@worriedguy .. nope no tats, no heavy drinking, no bible thumpers…and I volunteer at a hospital and a couple other off the side volunteer places. but i’m not a holy person either, i’m on a middle ground but i think that when i make a first impression on people I’m just a bit too polite because of the way that i was brought up

@Mikelbf2000… I think i’m being a bit too nice to people, but thats my personality, I was brought up to treat people with the same respect i expect

@Futhermucker…Froo- froo meaning they show their emotions and problems WAAAY too quickly and too often that make me just want to run away from them as fast as i can… I’m not a psychologist/ psychiatrist and I don’t even ask them anything to prompt them to tell me thier issues…

i think maybe i’m attracting these kinds of people because I’m being too nice?

& @DarkScribe… I know what I am and how I act, I’ve looked in the mirror plenty of times and question myself if I am somewhat like those people, but no… shrugs I think I just am too nice to people

@tamkli3 Dont stop being nice to people. Everyone is flawed you going to hear people confide in you if you listen to them. People confide in me all the time. Women get mad if someone is insensitive but also get mad if someone emotional as well. I really dont think i can win lol. I have met plenty of bitches to know better than to tell any of my problems to most women.

@Mikelbf2000… I know what you mean, and i’m not planning on not being nice to people, It’s just finding the person in the middle that is going to be a b!%ch to do haha… And with trying to win, it’s kinda a givin that most of the time the guy won’t win, us gals are as stubborn as mules, and sometimes we don’t even know what we want ourselves. I don’t mind if people confide in me with some of their problems, and i understand if someone gets closer and the person confides in you with their problems (equal on both sides), but when you just meet someone and unload all of your baggage on them then it’s just waaay too much.

@Fenris… my type?

someone is active
has common sense
loves reading as much as I do
a guy that respects my morals (RARE)
knows when to be serious at times
see’s the glass half full
and
is not an absolute obnoxious over possesive dirt bag

i hope that answered it and wasn’t being too picky

It’s not weirdo radar; it’s their involuntary emo-culation in meeting someone who doesn’t give them the usual stress (but that may be relative to their froo-froo-icity) so they have an Obama moment (he got erected! wet pants!) and wipe their limp ego on you. It’s ok. What’s sad is now they feel refreshed and you have their ego on you so they run away or can’t be moved to chat because emotionally you smell like themselves which is sort of like them trying to date themselves or it reminds them of reading school oral presentations in front of a mirror which just causes a hundred species of stress which they no longer want to acknowledge.

Having said that, perhaps a certain portion of womanly bitsheness is due an evolutionary step where an erratic personality caused men to unravel sufficiently as described above so that the men would then be able to communicate and mate.

Therefore you may need to invest in sunglasses to offset the disarming and apparently liquefying effect of your niceness.

@antivigilante… love your answer… i think i’ll take your advice and go to buying myself a pair of them haha :-D