Can a former stripper ever have a normal married life?

Does any person you meet in life come without baggage? I assume anyone can have a normal married life if they choose a spouse wisely, and both people work on the relationship.

Yes, it may be hard, you may have to move, but happiness is not governed by your past.

I seriously doubt her failed marriages were due to her having been a stripper. If they were, she’s certainly marrying prudes, or she’s not coming clean with her fiances before the marraige.

Absolutely not. But only because there really is no such thing as a normal married life!

@davidbetterman

I disagree. Care to explain what you mean? : )

@CaptainHarley Simple. Each marriage is unique. No matter how similar they appear on the outside, no two marriages are ever alike. Since the core of a marriage is the partnership of two unique individuals, no two marriages can ever really be equated.
Ergo there is no such thing as a normal married life.

Additional info: my friend asked me before her last marriage. “should i tell my fiance of my past and suffer the consequences or should i wait till after marriage and suffer the consequences. either way, i think i will lose”. i advised her to tell him before you say “i do”. she did this and their marriage was postponed for at least 6 months.

I doubt her having been a stripper, itself, has much bearing on her current marriage issues. If they even are issues, sometimes we all make rotten choices in matters, including choosing a spouse. It could simply be that, or possibly she does have deeper issues regarding her view of sex, men and relationships which might have influenced her decision on becoming a stripper (i.e. former abuse, that sort of thing). That being said, sometimes being a stripper is just being a stripper, with no deeper meaning attached.

Sure, why wouldn’t they have a ‘normal’ married life? Do you think strippers are ‘damaged people’ incapable of happiness? They’re just people, like you and me, some are bad at relationships and some are good.

I further advised her to move to another town, as soon as possible. by doing this, there may be less of an encounter with a past “Jon”.

Ummm, I don’t think strippers have Johns. That is what prostitutes call their clientele.

@john65pennington Sometimes strippers end up with past clients, so what?

Suppose this person was both?

Simone, its just a simple question.

I think it has more to do with mental well being than what occupation a person has. Someone who is emotionally damaged may become a stripper, or they may not. The end result would probably be the same.

If you’re a crazy cat lady, can you ever have a normal married life? Sure, you just gotta find someone who really likes cats.

If you’re a police officer, can you ever have a normal married life? Sure, you just gotta find someone who can deal with the crazy hours and risk of your spouse being injured or killed in the line of duty. (My grandma dealt with this and had two kids with her Detroit cop husband.)

If you’re an ex-stripper (or a current stripper, for that matter), can you ever have a normal married life? Sure, you just gotta find someone who’s okay with this situation. They’re out there.

It sounds like your stripper friend was marrying guys who weren’t OK with it. That’s the mistake, see.

To me, you marry someone, you marry their past as well. For me, I wouldn’t have a problem. I’d want to know because I’d want to know everything about her, if I love her enough to marry her! I’m interested!. It wouldn’t make the slightest difference – if she’s ok with it, so am I.

The only problem I see (for me) is if it was a “night before the marriage” admission – that’s the kind of thing that sends up warning signals, “what else haven’t they told me?” or a situation where problems from the past still need to be resolved – doesn’t necessarily keep me from marrying her, but I like to know what I’m getting into (but that goes for anyone, not just strippers).

Be open, be honest. If the other person can’t accept you, it’s their loss.

@john65pennington so is mine

Yeah. Why not? My wife and I are close friends with another married couple who’ve been together for years. The wife is an ex stripper and isn’t apologetic for it in the slightest. She did it when she was young and wild. Her husband is secure in himself and their relationship, therefore he loves her to no end. The past is the past.

If it’s in the past it shouldn’t matter.
People don’t go through 3 marriages just because they used to be a stripper.
There’s something else happening that’s causing the divorces.

I don’t see why they would not be able to.

I agree it’s probably something in her makeup/personality/life habits that’s more to do with her relationships than the past job of stripping. Why she gravitated to stripping in the first place might be a tip off. Sure the money can be good but the strippers I’ve met and known all say the environment is rife with emotionally delicate, volatile or predatory people making it tough to find much positive aside from being able to pay bills. I’ve had family members of both sexes who’ve stripped in different states and they all tell pretty similar stories. Stripping is it’s own scene, there are people who look on it as a lifestyle rather than job and then there is the scene for the patrons. Ugh.

@john65pennington ”Suppose this person was both?”

Suppose she wasn’t.

I thought you were a cop. Aren’t cops supposed to only base their accusations on the facts?

@davidbetterman

Then why do the same problems, in the same areas, arrise again and again and again, across the board in marriages of people from all ethnic groups, all religions, all socioeconomic groups?

@CaptainHarley
Wow, you are either a fortune teller or a government agent to know what is going on in the personal lives of all those millions of people.

My cousin, a former stripper, met her husband at work. 12 years and 2 kids later they are still married and still happy.

People change, I don’t think anyones past should be held against them, providing they have done the proper work if that past had seriously dark or damaging consequences such as addiction.

@davidbetterman

Neither, actually. I was a marriage mediator for a number of years, and am well-acquainted with the relevant statistics.

I was a Magician’s Assistant, and I met many stage performers and dancers of all types. There is nothing inherently ‘bad’ about taking one’s clothes off onstage. Many of these answers make it sound like being a strip dancer is the same thing as being a prostitute, and I assure you, that is not in the job description.

I was a Magician’s Assistant

That is really cool! You should tell us about that some time. GA!

@dpworkin My father was a stage magician, and president of the local chapter of SAM. For several years I was his assistant. We did a guest appearance at the Magic Castle in 1965, my last show with him

I love that!

There are some valid reasons women (some men) get into the strip clubs. Many are working thier way through college because they didn’t pull in the grades required in high school to meet the requirements for a scholorship or grant. Still others end up single with children, but are still plenty young enough to be a stripper.

The lifestyle, as a whole, is not a happy one, though, so sometimes people come don’t come out of it the same person they were when they went in. Stripping isn’t the end of the road, of course. It can be a struggle, but there are better choices, that end up making stripping a temporary thing.

Many strippers got there through a series of poor choices as a result of emotional or mental issues, and lack of self-esteem. I suspect that is why this lady has been divorced so many times, John.

I think it is more of a problem with how people treat relationships nowadays. You are talking about your stripper friend, but what about all the other people you know. How many have just stayed in one relationship for years. We are living in a throw away society and it seems that it applies to our relationships as well.

Why wouldn’t they be. Why couldn’t they have a good relationship whether they are currently a stripper or in the past ? It all depends on the people.